So I can't decide if I am overreacting to this or not, help
me out please ladies!
I am
involved in reffing for youth sports (rec leagues, middle school, high school),
and I have blocked myself from being available during January and February
because we are starting our treatments up again, and my doc would rather have
me doing only low-impact activity. Well I send a message to the person in
charge of the schedule saying I am having a medical procedure done in January,
but I will let them know if anything changes. I never got a response from
the person I emailed, but my email didn't really require one either. This
Sunday, on Facebook, another official (someone who I didn't email, and wouldn't
need to know about my treatment) wishes me a speedy recovery, which turns into
a friend of my parents, texting them to make sure I am ok, my parents calling
me to make sure I am ok (since they didn't know we were going to start
treatment again) and way more people needing to be involved, since the reffing
community is quiet small.
I'm
really upset about my medical info (partially) being shared on Facebook, and
blowing something completely out of whack. The person who shared this is
a notorious over-sharer anyway (the kind of person who posts about what they
had for breakfast, lunch and dinner), and I am sure it will happen again.
I am friends with people that I work with on Facebook also, and I
wouldn't want it getting back to HR or my boss that I am starting the
treatments again.
So my
question is, should I send a message to the person in charge of the schedule
telling him I no longer want to ref at all, since my private information isn't
going to remain private? Part of me thinks this is me overreacting to
infertility issues, but the other part of me is furious that people just assume
you want everything out there for the world to see, when you haven't even told
that person what is going on!
What would you do?
Re: Outed on Facebook...
*** Pregnancy & Miscarriage Mentioned***
ME: 34/DH: 33
TTC (On & Off) Since 2008
Diagnosed DOR August 2013
2009-2013 6 Clomid Rounds which resulted in 3 Cysts/Had to take some time off from TTC
10/2014 ~ BFP (Natural Pregnancy) after 3 months Acupuncture/Miscarriage at 10 wks
7/2015 ~ Med Protocol#1: Failed Cycle/Only 1 Egg/Unable to convert to IUI because thin uterus lining
08/2015 ~ Med Protocol #2: Started stims 09/13
ER 10/9 with 6 Eggs Retrieved/3 SNOWFLAKES!!
10/22/15 ~ AF Showed up, waiting for Fibroid removal.
10/28/15 ~ Saline Ultrasound - Fibroids were gone. FET scheduled for December 3rd!
12/08/15 ~ FET of one hatching Embaby
12/21/15 ~ 13dp5dfet Beta 755! I'M PREGNANT!!!/ 12/23/15 ~15dp5dfet Beta 1539!
01/05/16 ~ 1st Ultrasound - 2 little beans and 2 Heartbeats (120 & 125 bpm)
My Fur Baby: Diva Celeste McClendon
I also agree with talking to the person face-to-face.
Don't cancel further reffing just yet though...take a few days to let the anger out (which you are in your right to feel, I would!) and then take a decision.
**********************************************************************************************************************************
I don't think you're overreacting at all.
Jan 10, 2016: Cycle 16. Femara 5mg + IUI #3 - BFN.
Feb 10, 2016: Cycle 17. No IUI or meds. Taking a break - Natural BFP Mar 5, 2016!!!! EDD Nov 16, 2016
Moving to IVF March 2016
Beta at 10dpo: 21, Beta at 12dpo: 98, Beta at 14dpo: 264, Beta at 16dpo: 745
U/S 6w6d: single beautiful heartbeat of 121bpm - It's a boy!!!!
Nov 3, 2016: Our family became complete. Welcome DS #2.
Edited because I had word use issues.
Me: 34, DH: 38 ~ TTC since 2014
IUI #1-3 (Nov 2015, Feb 2016, May 2016) = BFNs
IVF ER (July 2016) = 7 PGS normal embryos
FET #1 (Sept 2016) = BFP! DD born 5/30/17
FET #2 (April 2019) = BFN
FET #3 (July 2019) = BFP! DS born 3/27/20
7 IUIs, 7 BFNs.
2 IVF attempts, both cancelled and converted to IUI, both BFNs.
Decided that my tired old ovaries are ready to retire.
Next step- reciprocal IVF, using my wife's eggs, my uterus!
fresh 5 day transfer (2 embryos) 4/17/17- BFP!
Identical twins "due" 1/2/17 (but anticipated arrival sometime December)
Personally, I would not email this person or contact them because you would be drawing attention to it. I would put this person under "restricted" in FB (because blocking makes it immediately obvious that something is up because she would not be able to see your account but will know from mutual contacts that your FB account is active).
I know these type of people who will then just resort to a "hush hush" form of gossip which becomes an even bigger deal. I pretty much say the same thing that I have a medical procedure and there are always ones who pry and I tell them its a colonoscopy, shuts them up VERY quickly. I was honest with my parents (they went through IF too) and told them that this is way too hard and I can't keep telling them or the in-laws every time we start treatment because talking about it over and over is super exhausting and drains me mentally. So, when people like women talk to them, they pretty much say (in very vague terms) that its nothing to be super worried about it and thanks.
I'm really sorry you had to go through this.
DH : 36, has Chronic Kidney Disease, on dialysis & is waiting on the transplant list (average wait for B+ is 5 years)
Me: 36, Hypothyroidism, PCOS, BMI 32, need to be done with "child bearing" ASAP so that I can be a Kidney donor (was fun realizing we didn't as much time as we thought :-/ )
We're TTC#1
IUI #1 : 5mcg Letrozole (CD 3-7) + Ovidrel Trigger + Had the one follicle = BFN (March 2014)
IUI #2 : 5mcg Letrozole (CD 3-7) + 150 iu Bravelle on CD9 (after much begging!) + Had the one follicle = BFN (April 2014)
7th May 2014 - changed REs, this one seems to care (we think....)
IUI #3 : 7mcg Letrozole (CD 3- 7) + 75 iu Bravelle (CD 8-12) + CD12 Scan 5/16 + Had 3 follicles (2 under 15mm) = BFN(May 2014)
IUI #4 : 7mcg Letrozole (CD 3- 7) + 75 iu Bravelle (CD 8-12) + CD12 Scan 5/16 + Had 1 follicle + DH gave best sample so far = BFN(June 2014)
IVF#1 - ER Only Cycle Sept-Oct 2014, 17 eggs Retrieved, 14 mature, 10 fertilized, 6 made it to Blast & post PGS 5 were not viable due to chromosomal abnormalities
Not sure where we go from here...
We're parents to two very adorable, bratty, affectionate & goofy Bernese Mountain Dog pups who would very much like a 2 legged baby brother or sister of their own!