Bratty family complaints. Long, sorry

MamaGooGoo · January 2016

I have 2 complaints. First, I'm due a week from tomorrow. DH's grandma lives only a mile away and we see her all the time. She's a super nice lady, well-meaning, but the most stubborn woman I know. Anyway she's come down with the flu and has been sick in bed with a fever for the past few days. When I have the baby and she's still sick I obviously won't let her come and visit until she's totally healthy. But I know her, and she'll say she's better and was barely sick at all, but I know she's been really bad. She had the flu shot but refuses to believe you can still get the flu... Like I said, stubborn. I know it'll be a huge deal if/when she can't visit right away. She shouldn't even enter labor and delivery at the hospital at all with the flu. How irresponsible. I tried talking to my husband about this ahead of time so he can say something when it happens, but he just kind of brushed it off. I'll have to be the bitch. Fine.

Second complaint is about my MIL, also a super sweet lady, has never said no to babysitting and does so probably once a week for my 2 year old daughter. However, I keep hearing from my BIL that she thinks she's going to just take my daughter practically full time after I have the baby... The thing is, I know I'll need and want a break from my daughter so I can catch up on sleep, etc.. But, please let me ask for help if and when I feel like I need it. Don't just assume and start planning on a practically permanent babysitting gig for months. My daughter goes to an in home daycare twice a week with an amazing nanny and her 2 little friends. She loves going and I still plan on sending her when I have the baby. I was thinking of maybe one day a week MIL could take her for the day. Plus I have my husband's dad and his girlfriend who will want to take her as well. I probably sound like a spoiled brat, but I do appreciate her willingness to help out, I just want it on my terms since, you know, I'm the mom. She hasn't even talked to me about this. Also I've always been bothered that she doesn't stick to any type of a schedule with my daughter and she doesn't even bother trying to get her eat healthy food. Lots of goldfish and cheese crackers around her house. No questions, really, just wanted to complain.

Mamabeagle · January 2016

I get it, you can't control anything right now (read: when baby arrives) so youre focusing on things that aren't yet an issue or may not ever be one.

You're not due for another week, and assuming you have no imminent induction plans, it could be up to 3 weeks and I'm sure great grandma will be better by then and grandma can kindly be told she can assist with your daughter when you need her assistance.

LIly436 · January 2016

You should be very firm with not allowing sick relatives to visit. Grandma will have to wait at least two weeks after she feels well until she is safe to visit the baby.
Maybe just tell your MIL, that you do not want to overwork her and that your daughter needs her friends

MamaHolland · January 2016

The MIL thing really doesn't seem like something to be concerned about. Both of our moms are dead & pretty much all of my family lives on the other side of the country so.... Yeah. If you want your MIL's assistance she's there & willing, that's a blessing. And obviously she's not a looney toon & she's trustworthy because you are happy with how she is with your two year old. So maybe your hormones are getting the best of you because there's no legitimate issue there.

As for the husband's grandma, no way, she has to be clear of the flu before she visits. Period.

cammiedeeann · January 2016

I totally understand. I've been experiencing some of the same worries... My MIL is crazy overbearing (she has an opinion on everything and according to her, I'm always wrong-- she's also insistent that she's been experiencing "pregnancy symptoms" at 52 and post-menopausal), and it's difficult to not worry about how things are going to go with all that after baby arrives.

However, I realize that worrying now won't fix it... And it's easy to worry extra, since I'm sitting around a lot now with nothing else going on.

Try to keep your mind busy, even if your body is resting. This worry may be exacerbated because of general anxiety over the next few weeks-- get your baby girl here and cross those bridges as they come. Today we relax!

Jessdub10 · January 2016

I feel for you, and I find myself doing the same thing - worrying about things that will probably not be an issue - but in the moment it is very irritating to me when my family talks about how things will go with my dd or the new little one. It just triggers my inner mama bear I guess and gets me ragey.
My mom makes comments as if my dd will be staying with her long term, actually it'll be three or four days MAX and after that my mom can come to my house to help. I know things will be on my terms when the time comes, and my mom will be a big help, it's just annoying.

My in laws have it in their heads that dh and I will need a date night when they come into town a couple of weeks after baby gets here, and they Keep dropping hints about staying with "the kids" while we go out or taking dd with them to the hotel. HAHA just NO.

ChrissyD1203 · January 2016

I totally get where you are coming from. I disagree with @Mamabeagle - when elderly people are sick - it can be a long time before they are better, and although maybe your doctor would let you go to 42 weeks, there is a chance you could have the baby tomorrow. I worry about a similar thing in my family - people who are sick being selfish and pretending they are better so they can see baby sooner (my mom would do this because she would be jealous if MIL saw the baby first). It's extremely frustrating so I have tried to just be proactive and continuously emphasize no sick people around baby. I don't want there to be any misunderstanding or expectations when I put my foot down on this (regardless of how far folks have traveled).

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Bratty family complaints. Long, sorry

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