if this is your last pregnancy come in….

chelseymat · November 2015

So this is my fourth and last pregnancy. My mom has been on me ever since I told her I was pregnant about getting my tubes tied. I usually just ignore the question because I feel like its none of her business. Is any one else experiencing this? My friends keep asking me if DH or I are going to get fixed. Neither of us really want to and have had no problems with previous birth control measures but again I feel like I don't owe anyone an explanation. Please tell me I'm not crazy.

djdawn29a · November 2015

Ur not crazy.. Do what is right for you. This is our last and dh is gitting the snip. His choice. Just tell them you have it under control. No explanation needed.

mamacastro · November 2015

You're not crazy. Its no concern to anyone else. People should mind their business. This is our last too and I as well have a parent harping on me about getting my tubes tied. I am doing it this time but not because of them

doozer1345 · November 2015

I'm dealing with this dilemma as well. I really hate being pg and I do have risk factors that stress us out when I am pg. The doctor asked me if I wanted to get my tubes tied this time. This is a decision that should be solely up to you and your spouse. It's what works for you not what may work for everyone else.

gemini2005 · November 2015

I'm planning on getting my tubes tied after the birth because I have trouble with many types of birth control. Also, I'm 100% sure that this is the last one. I can't imagine someone pressuring me do it though. Just stay firm and don't let anyone make the decision for you. I have a friend that had a tubal due to pressure from her husband and she changed her mind a few years later after being widowed. She's on the verge of getting remarried and desperately wants more children. She still blames her deceased husband for pressuring her to do it. It's a terrible situation!

kristib1027 · November 2015

Your reproductive system = your business. I
Don't understand when you are a stable adult with children why people ask those questions. I'll have 9 if I want to! Get off me about it!

oceanchild · November 2015

This is our last (5th pregnancy, 4th baby). We are Catholic, so we use NFP for birth control. If we weren't though I think getting my tubes tied would be the absolute last BC option I would consider - I understand it's a painful surgery/recovery and with more possible complications, not just a minor procedure like a vasectomy. I'd tell mom to stuff it; it's not her body.

2-Step · November 2015

I agree, none of anyone's business but your own. I will be getting mine tied during my csection mostly because I've heard too many "oops" stories and hormonal BC doesn't work for me. People have asked me about it but it's more like close friends asking out of curiosity because they are weighing the same decisions and want to know what I am choosing and why. I would be annoyed if I were being pressured!

MamaRoni · November 2015

5th baby for us... our oldest will only be 9 when this baby is born....
I feel pretty confident this is our last but I ain't tying ANYTHING. Nope... and it's none of the askers business.. I literally get asked every day

cmerribury · November 2015

People are extremely nosy and inconsiderate when speaking to pregnant women about their bodies. If you don't like the line of questioning, regardless of who it's from, simply redirect. It's no one else's business, unless you want it to be.

GinnyJ2012 · November 2015

This is my third and likely my last, however at 29 I'm not ready to make that final decision. I'm looking into long term options like a Merina. I had that between my first and second with no issues.

wergittep · November 2015

It's definitely up to you, and not anyone else's business.

Just FYI, though, tubal ligation not as easy or safe as a vasectomy. I'm in my 3rd and last pregnancy--last for medical reasons. We looked into both options, and this is the bottom line: Neither tubal ligation nor vasectomy are fool-proof. You can still have an accidental pregnancy. The difference is that a failed tubal ligation brings a high risk of ectopic pregnancy, uterine rupture, and other scary things, while a failed vasectomy just results in a normal pregnancy. Since we were already dealing with dangerous medical issues regarding pregnancy and didn't exactly want to add to that list, we opted for a vasectomy. It was absolutely no trouble at all--despite all the horror stories you'll hear. Hubbs went in for the procedure on a Friday morning, I drove him home an hour or so later, and he played video games all weekend with a bag of frozen peas on his lap. By Monday, he was back up and going, and by Friday he was back to his job (labor-intensive outdoor work).

Latina211508 · November 2015

I'm pregnant with my fourth baby too and this is our last. My husband does not want anymore and I'm content with having 4 children. I have been asked by mom as well but I think it's because we are both still young. I just turned 25 on Saturday and hubby is 26. I will not get my tubes tied but my husband offered to get an vasectomy after the baby is born. But you're not crazy and it's not their business.

mthoomom · November 2015

First off, OP, you are right: your reproductive choices are none of your mom's business!

Second, for those in this thread who are thinking about tubal ligation, here is my story... I got my tubes tied after my second child was born. After doing IVF, I am now pregnant with number 3! If I could go back in time, I would choose a long-term non-permenant method of birth control, like the IUD. Tubal ligation can be a great option- I love never needing to worry about buying birth control or weather I might forget to take it- but I wish I had taken into consideration all of the curve balls life that life sometimes throws at you. I ended up getting a divorce a few years after I had the surgery done, and then met an amazing man who didn't have any children of his own...

Anyway, Tubals are a great option for permanent birth control, but occasionally people do regret having them done. Also, they can't always be reversed, and then you are left with (expensive!) IVF as your only option.

arcanejinx · November 2015

I'm a FTM but I doubt that I be pregnant again. I have a history of mental health issues and this pregnancy has really flared those up. Also DH and I are committed to adopting a child and DH only wants 2 kids. So we are done. Everyone is asking us if he's getting sniped or am I getting my tubes tied.

DH thankfully tells people to butt out. As he is wayyy more diplomatic than I am. We haven't made a permanent choice and anyways it's no one else's business.

Buninthe0ven815 · November 2015

This is my first and my husband's third; our final baby. I'd love it if my DH was snipped, but unfortunately for us, I work for a religious organization and the procedure isn't covered by our insurance. We've used NFP for 10 years and got pregnant only when we've tried so I think we'll be ok.

As for the question, I'm all about telling people to mind their own business - family included.

maman10 · January 2016

Lol your not crazy, this is number 10 for me ,and people have been asking me the same ,I just ask them so it me or you that is raising these children, and they just shut up lol

huskypuppy14 · January 2016

I'm sorry people are being so rude. No you are not crazy- it's no one else's business what you and your husband do to your reproductive organs. This is my first baby, but my mom would probably be the opposite. She said we can't just have one baby because everyone needs a sibling. We plan to have 2 anyway, but how about we have one first and then we can worry about any other children.

Like a previous poster said, it's much more invasive for a woman to get her tubes tied than a man to have a vasectomy. If you are having a c section and it's something you want, that would be a good time to do it. But I would never do it if they weren't already in there. My mom had her tubes tied when she was 28 after she had my sister (3rd child). I think the plan was for my dad to get a vasectomy, but then my mom had a c section at the last minute so she said "while you're in there just do it."

PugsandKisses · January 2016

huskypuppy14 said:
I'm sorry people are being so rude. No you are not crazy- it's no one else's business what you and your husband do to your reproductive organs. This is my first baby, but my mom would probably be the opposite. She said we can't just have one baby because everyone needs a sibling. We plan to have 2 anyway, but how about we have one first and then we can worry about any other children.

Like a previous poster said, it's much more invasive for a woman to get her tubes tied than a man to have a vasectomy. If you are having a c section and it's something you want, that would be a good time to do it. But I would never do it if they weren't already in there. My mom had her tubes tied when she was 28 after she had my sister (3rd child). I think the plan was for my dad to get a vasectomy, but then my mom had a c section at the last minute so she said "while you're in there just do it."

yeah, that would not work today. Each state is different, but most require a full consent signed 30 days prior to delivery.*

* this is assuming a normally scheduled C/S at 39 weeks. If early or what not, than some states require as little as a 3 day waiting period from signature to the tubal ligation.

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