September 2016 Moms

Any trail blazers?

DH and I will be the first in our close group of friends to have children, and were the first to get engaged, married, move in together, etc. We're also the first of our siblings/cousins/etc. It's weird because we aren't really young by family starting standards, at 28 and 29.

Anyone else feeling a little anxious in the same situation? I'm feeling nervous about how some of my friends will take the big change that's about to come to our friendship. I'm trying to avoid any of this:


Don't get me wrong, a baby is totally worth it and I don't think any of our friends would actually avoid us because of having a kid. But it will change things with some of them who love to party.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this! 

Re: Any trail blazers?

  • I wouldn't say we are complete trailblazers, but I was the first of my co-worker friends and my sisters. I'll be honest, it was difficult to sustain some of my closeness with people. Although, I have to take some of the blame. I was going through not just being a new mom, but also quitting work and staying at home. Being at home definitely made it harder and more isolating. Also, I tend to withdraw when I'm going through big changes so I have to admit I could've tried harder to get together and stay in touch. Being a SAHM with an infant turned me into a bit of a hermit for about 6 months. I would imagine that if you're going back to work then you will have more opportunities to connect with others and realize the importance of keeping a social life.

    I finally realized that I was going to have to adjust my expectations of my friends. Most of the time they would just assume that I would be too busy or wouldn't want to go out, and throughout the first 6 months of DD's life they were mostly right. Non-parents really just don't "get it". Meaning they can't wrap their heads around the complete lifestyle change that happens with kids. I had to learn not to internalize it and gripe about them, and just realize that if I was going to maintain my friendships that I had to be the one to initiate. 

    All in all, I wouldn't worry too much because the true friends will still be around even after baby comes. It's difficult at first, but it can be refreshing to weed out the ones that aren't making an effort. Just understand that for a time things might be different and you might see each other less, but it's temporary, and you can get back to the relationships you had before kids.
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  • Only one of our friends have a child and In our families only my brother has one and his wife is now 15 weeks with her second one. So we won't be the first to have kids! But they are all boys so maybe we are the first ones to have a girl? We never know, of course it won't matter to me.

    We were the first ones to get married tho!
    35 years old, TTC #1 Dec 28, 2011
    PCOS, Hypothyroidism.
    First IVF cycle June 5th 2015 --- BFP
    Miscarriage at 8 weeks
    FET December 15th 2015--- BFP!
    First saw  at 6w4d
    It's a boy!

    Luciano Alessandro Maximiliano was born on September 3rd 2016

       



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  • We will be for our family but not for our friends. I am an only child by my mother, DH parents are divorced but remarried so he has siblings between the two and half siblings on both sides. We were the first to marry and as of now the first to give grandbaby/ies. DH isn't the eldest either.

    DH really wants to tell the parents but I wanna wait a little longer.

    Me:24 ~~~~~ DH:26

    High school Sweethearts 03/29/07

    Engaged 11/29/2009

    Married 09/04/2012

    TTC#1-06/01/2015

    BFP 12/27/2015 EDD 9/8/2016

    It's a BOY!


                                                              Pregnancy Ticker
  • We are definitely the first in my family but his family situation is... Convoluted? To be nice. Though his half brother is married with three kids he never speaks to his dad, my FIL. So it's like we are the first all over for DH's family. As for our close friends, we don't actually LIVE near any of them, so it doesn't have much of an effect. But our friends here at this base (we are military) all have kids, only one other couple doesn't but they love hanging out with the kids, too. Very kid friendly. Not sure how our friends out of town will take it when we visit with kids.
    TTC #1 - Started 7/2015
    MC #1 - 1/10/2014
    MC #2 - 10/15/2015

    Pregnancy Ticker



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