DH resisting chromosome testing TW losses mentioned

MissPrint1219 · January 2016

So here's where we are: In the past two years, I've had 3 losses. First was 6wks, likely BO. Second in March, mmc discovered @ 12wks after us w/ heartbeat @ 6wks. Third was natural mc @ 8w5d after us w/heartbeat @ 5w5d.

I asked my ob about chromosomal testing after d&c with #2 and was politely declined. She did, however, run a panel of bloodwork that all came back fine except for hetero C667T MTHFR mutation.

With #3, I insisted on progesterone test, which came back low, but was not treated (that's a rant for another day).

Finally got smart and asked for referral to MFM, with first appointment yesterday. Long story short, best decision I ever made. Dr recommends folgard & progesterone after BFP and, because my ob didn't order chromosomal testing after #2, he has ordered a blood karotype for DH to rule out translocation.

So we're down to this. One last possible cause to check off the list. Problem is, DH immediately bristled when I told him about the test, and then went on a little rant about how I can go down the test-after-test road, but he's not doing any more than this one. I'm honestly not sure he'll even "find time" to get blood drawn for this one.

Anyone else have experience with husbands getting prickly when it's their turn at bat?

ceclarlinetlo · January 2016

Hi - I'm sorry your dealing with recurrent losses. I've only had two but my OB agreed to do some tests after the second. I had bloodwork and a saline ultrasound and then I was referred to a reproductive endocrinologist who wanted DH to get a semen analysis and DH put up a bit of a fight using the argument "if we're a problem with the sperm we wouldn't have gotten pregnant" but since RE wouldn't do anything for me without the SA DH eventually agreed to do it.

queenklau · January 2016

Hi @MissPrint1219, i am sorry you are going through this. I had 2 losses so far and I am getting similar testing. I did the blood work (hormones, thyroid, blood clotting), genetic testing on tissue and karyotyope on me. DH needed to do the karyotyope as well. It didn't seem like was going to get it done, I guess DHs are just worried that something may be wrong with them. But F that, if the whole point is to find out the reason for our recurrent losses, you have to do it. Knowing is half the battle. Us ladies are prodded and poked tons of times, it is time for them to step up and be the future dad they want to be.

To answer your question, I tried to make the argument logical with DH, I said things like: "let's get all the tests that we can now so that we can be prepared for our next pregnancy." And "let's get these test done before the end of the year so that it applies to the already paid 2015 deductible" And "I should be receiving test results over the next week, please get yours too". I finally made the call to the hospital lab and asked whether we could come in. I drove him and accompanied him to get it done. So yeah, on Dec 29, 2 months since the doc suggested the test, we got it done...

FireInWonderland · January 2016

I am so sorry your DH is being touchy about his role in the testing process. If we have another loss, we will be undergoing testing and I think DH is okay with it because he's a doctor and understands the process a bit better than someone not in the medical field.

I hope things get easier and my sincere condolences for multiple losses. Best of luck and I hope nothing bad turns up in your tests, and that you get a healthy, sticky baby for 2016!

PeggyOlsonFTW · January 2016

Kind of piggybacking off your question, OP... DH and I just got paperwork for blood draws from my OB. Testing for chromosomal abnormalities and clotting disorders for me and chromosomal abnormalities for DH. My questions are:

1-How long do you think it'll take to get the results?
2-There's a chance I could be KU now. I'll know next week. Would you still get the blood work after a +HPT or would you wait and see what happened with the theoretical pregnancy?

queenklau · January 2016

@PeggyOlsonFTW, from my own experience & opinion.

1-clotting, thyroid, FSH results came back less than a week later. karyotype-2 weeks. Progesterone levels, 2 days or so.
2-I would definitely get the test that can still be done while pregnant. Odds are everything is normal, but if there is anything you can do to help this current (FX!) pregnancy, it would be better to know.
Good luck!

MissPrint1219 · January 2016

Thank you everyone for the support and for making me feel a little less crazy :-) This process has definitely put a strain on both of us and I wasn't sure how to interpret DHs lack of enthusiasm. @klauerinaking , it sounds like you and I have similar approaches - it's reassuring to hear you were finally able to get him to the lab - I may have to take a page out of your playbook and incorporate the trip into another errand!

@PeggyOlsonFTW - I had all of my results (15 separate tests) back in under a week. MFM says to expect 2 weeks on husbands test. Even if you are KU now (FX!), go ahead with the tests. Like @klauerinaking says, if something does show up, there is still a chance for treatment. In hindsight, I really regret not pushing for the results of my progesterone test with #3 (all of my lab results are published to a patient portal once the doctor reviews them. This one wasn't ~hence~ Dr. didn't review results from 5wks until after mc) I have no illusions that supplemental progesterone would have saved my pregnancy, but I'd feel better knowing I tried.

BornReady · January 2016

My husband was always really cool about testing, etc. However, I've had friends who've had more of your DH's reaction/approach. I always wonder if it is more of an anxiety issue? Like not wanting to think something is wrong with them? Either way, I always feel like this whole making a human thing is a team effort whether doing it the fun way or some of the less fun/miserable ways so everyone better be on board!

PeggyOlsonFTW · January 2016

Thanks @MissPrint1219 and @klauerinaking I went and got my testing done today. We're going to see what comes of that and decide if DH should do it or not. My thought is that if it comes back that we have chromosomal problems, there's not much we can do for that besides IVF (right?) and I don't think we have the money for IVF.

queenklau · January 2016

Keep us updated of the results, ladies.
FX for 2016 babies!

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