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11 mth old, pregnant with second

LilianvLilianv member
in Two Under 2
I recently, unexpectedly found out I am pregnant for a second time. I was part of that unlucky percentage that the bc pill fails sometimes.. needless to say this was not planned. My first born is only 11 mths old and we weren't planning for another for at least a 2 more years. I am so torn up with guilt that this has happened. In no way am I ready for this. The thought of going through another pregnancy and labor so soon scares me so much. But worst of all is the guilt I feel that I am somehow hurting my little guy by bringing another one into the mix. He is only still a baby! :(  I am so racked up with guilt I can't help but break down when I am around him. Having one little one is so much work I don't know that I can do this with two. Moms in this situation what did you do? Does the guilt get any better.?? I am feeling nothing but dread over this pregnancy I am afraid I won't have any affection towards a second child.. I find it easier to pretend this isn't happening to  me. :(
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Re: 11 mth old, pregnant with second

  • kwaz01kwaz01 member
    My youngest daughter is 3 months and my older daughter is 17 months. Our youngest is our unexpected blessing. Not going to lie the first few months are hard but it does get easier and you get into your routine. My older daughter continued her routine of going to my moms that first month during the day like I was at work so I could spend my undivided attention on the new baby. I would suggest trying to keep the olders routine the same as possible. The good thing is they are young and won't remember life as an only child. It is so sweet seeing my older one try to help or burp her own baby. And just think how close they will be growing up. Don't be afraid to ask for help!!
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  • Knottie1442268460Knottie1442268460 member
    Exactly what kwaz01 says! Even our ages are the same.

    I think it will be a little easier that yours will be a touch older when new baby comes. A little better at self feeding, etc.

    I've had lots of family help until new baby started sleeping through night at 2 mos. big baby is still jealous of other family members and friends look at baby. Not as bad with DH but still a little jealousy. But with me-no jealous y. At first there was not it became our routine. I take care of baby for a minute then give big baby needed attention. They're always needing something at same time. Oh well. One waits impatiently & I get to the need ASAP. Juggling!

    I felt guilt at first. But actually I think it's better for the child to adjust when their memory of life before little baby is foggy. The burping, etc is soooo adorable!!! We got baby a doll and they take care of it while mom has little baby.

    I know 2 friends with kids 13-14 ish mos apart. One set is inseparable. The other gets along well. They're grown & one isn't at home in 2nd set. Youngest has a family which must have impacted their relationship .
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