Sad about missing O — The Bump
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Sad about missing O

So my husband and I haven't been trying full out but we also haven't been preventing. Last month we both agreed to actually start charting and trying. Well last night was O and I even got Pre-seed and hubby couldn't ummmm "complete."
Bleh, I feel terrible about this. I know there's other months but it sucks for sure.

Re: Sad about missing O

  • Thanks, we did BD on Christmas but without any pre-seed or anything like that. Fingers crossed.
    babymish
  • vulpes said:

    Thanks, we did BD on Christmas but without any pre-seed or anything like that. Fingers crossed.

    Preseed is just sperm-friendly lubricant. Nothing more. If you were sufficiently lubricated by your own fluids (and I hope so!) then you MIGHT be good. Sperm can persist in the female reproductive tract for 5-7 days. It would have been better if you'd had another HIO between now & then, but you do what you can do.


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    mamawhovianroadspecklelongliveregina
  • I get the frustration, my O date is slowly moving up in my cycle after coming off BCP in August, but it took a few cycles to notice, so we missed O date a lot (we were NTNP, so no biggie). I definitely had moments where I wondered if we would ever hit it. So now we BD every other day starting about a week and a half out from the projected FW, and we finally hit it.

    Like PPs said, join in the WTO/TWW threads. They keep me sane.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Me: 31  DH: 38  TTC #1
    Live: San Diego, CA
    Married: 8/15/15
    July, 2016: Unexplained IF Diagnosis
    August, 2016: Clomid + IUI = BFN
    September, 2016: Clomid + IUI = BFN, IVF consult
    October, 2016: Clomid + IUI = BFN
    IVF starting November, 2016 with BCP.  Stims starting 12/2/16
  • That does suck. I actually feel like telling DH when I (think I) O is counter productive. But this is my first month charting and it seems like we may have been totally missing it. I know waiting for the next cycle seems like an eternity but you'll get another opportunity. Good luck!
  • bsckgb7bsckgb7
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    edited December 2015
    vulpes said:
    So my husband and I haven't been trying full out but we also haven't been preventing. Last month we both agreed to actually start charting and trying. Well last night was O and I even got Pre-seed and hubby couldn't ummmm "complete." Bleh, I feel terrible about this. I know there's other months but it sucks for sure.
    ETA:  The Bump ate my original comment.  The only way to confirm O (at home) is my having a sustained temperature shift. You can't have a sustained shift in one day.  
    longliveregina
  • vulpes said:
    So my husband and I haven't been trying full out but we also haven't been preventing. Last month we both agreed to actually start charting and trying. Well last night was O and I even got Pre-seed and hubby couldn't ummmm "complete." Bleh, I feel terrible about this. I know there's other months but it sucks for sure.

    How do you know last night was O? You need three temps higher than the previous six to really confirm that. So you might not have actually O'd yet.
    Me: 26   H: 25
    TTC #1: September 2015 - October 2016
    NTNP: November 2016 - present

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    longliveregina
  • I have been there. I'm like WTF??? Why can't you just finish? That's your only job!!! If it doesn't happen this cycle, allow yourself a small pity party, then move right along!!!
  • That is disappointing, but be sure you give him plenty of support. TTC can put a lot of pressure on our male counterparts. It happens! And you don't want him feeling like any less of a man for it. 

    It happened to us once before we started TTC and I made sure to make him feel extra "manly" next time around. :wink: 
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    beary67
  • I have been there myself. Don't get too worked up over it. You may not actually be ovulating when you think you are. Try again today, but make it seem like it's "just for fun." That way there's less pressure on DH. 
    OR... and this may be the most adult way to go about it... have a chat with him at a very non-pressure moment. Make sure that the two of you are actually on the same page. I know for me and DH, even though he said he was ready, it took him a few months to really be ready to try. Now he reads my OPK's, asks about my chart, clears his calendar for FW... he's not always as "into it" as I'd like, but at least the job is getting done I guess.

    Also, as other posters have mentioned, this is actually more of a WTO or TWW rant type of post. (Doesn't necessarily need it's own whole thread.) Keep charting and join us over there for support!
  • borgie05borgie05
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Photogenic
    member
    edited December 2015
    ***Trigger warning, mention of loss***

    Just to ease your mind... In July 2014, I was desperate to conceive after a mc the month before. My O date was the Sunday after I was cleared by my OB to try again after a D&C. I pressured my hubby into sex every other day up til that day, however we were traveling to see his family PLUS I ended up getting some sort of infection thanks to all of the hormone changes that made things smell not too pleasant down there ( sorry tmi). Long story short, I pressured my hubs way too much and he had a hard time finishing the weekend of. I was convinced we missed it that month. BUT I guess the once or twice we did it the week before worked because I was pleasantly surprised to find out I was pregnant a few weeks later. My son is now 8 months old. I'm just lurking on the TTGP board because we are thinking of trying for #2 as soon as I can get my post partum OCD under control. 

    Best of luck to you! I hope you get a pleasant surprise as well. If not, try not to sweat it (hard, I know). My best advice is to try to take out the stress/pressure and make it fun if you can (I had a hard time with this). Our bodies are more receptive to becoming pregnant when we aren't so stressed out and our significant others have a much easier time if we make it fun and pressure free.
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    mamawhovian
  • You can always try things that encourage your SO's finishing process. With DH, I know a few things that drive him wild. Anytime I do one of them, he will finish.

    Maybe also try taking some of the pressure off. Make it more romantic and not just a "must make make baby" session.
  • Just because it hasn't been said already, with Pre-Seed a little goes a looooooooooong way. So if you used too much, OP, then perhaps there wasn't enough friction for your DH.
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    ladeuce13hunnybunny17longliveregina
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