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SAHM for 3.5 years going to work & having serious mommy guilt

jenbabejenbabe member
in Working Moms
I was always committed to staying home with my kids until they started school.  Our oldest is 3.5 years old and we just can't afford for me to stay home anymore.  We also have a 1.5 year old and 3 year old foster child.  I'm having serious mommy guilt and can't imagine leaving them for 40 hours a week when they are used to having me 24/7 their whole little lives so far.  I'm especially worried about they littlest guy,  he's my baby :(   I feel like they will think I'm abandoning them and I will miss out on so much.  Any advice on overcoming the guilt?  How is it going to really affect them to all of sudden not have mommy all day anymore?  Also any good advice on choosing the right in home daycare? 

Started TTC January 2007 4 failed IUIs, 2 failed IVFs
2012 - Adopted Child #1
2014- Adopted Child #2

2015 - Fostering Child #3

Check out my infertility turned adoption blog: Discovering Joy In The Storm


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Re: SAHM for 3.5 years going to work & having serious mommy guilt

  • snowflake2214snowflake2214 member
    I use an in home daycare that other coworkers use and recommend. For me having good recommendations was important. I also like that it is very close to work.
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  • NLewis1NLewis1 member
    Good recommenddations, state certified, all that jazz - but try to focus on the positives of daycare. My guy LOVES daycare - he's 1.5 and at 1 we went from a nanny to a daycare. He transitioned beautifully! He loves all the other kids to play with, he's picked up more skills and words in the last 6 months than I could have possibly imagined and I really think that's because he's exposed to some slightly older kids every day, he's not any less attached to me or his dad (we both work FT) in the evenings or weekends. Try to remember that kids adjust to change usually really well, and after a week or so they will be mostly used to their new schedule. This transition is going to be 10 times harder on you than on them.

    Good luck!
    Mrs. H
    Crohn's Dx: August 2008
    Endometriosis Dx: May 2010
    Married: 05/19/2012
    TTC #1: June 2013
    BFP: December 2013
    DS: Born 08/29/2014
    TTC #2: July 2015

    BFP #2: September 25, 2015

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  • SLGILL1978SLGILL1978 member
    It will definitely be an adjust for the family. Check your state or local DCF (Dept of Children and Families) or similar. They usually provide a list of state licensed daycare providers. I chose someone who parenting style closely resembles mine. Someone more flexible. I also wanted one that was in close proximity to home and work. My daughter has been in daycare since she was 10 weeks. 
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