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June 2016 Moms
Candacenellie
member
Sick of the negativity!!
Candacenellie
member
Is it just me or does NO ONE have anything nice to say about having a baby. It's always OH YOU WAIT you are never gonna sleep again, your life is over, day goodbye to anything you ever wanted to do.. etc etc.. How about saying something NICE?! Like.. OH YOU WAIT till you see that little face you will be so in love, or your life is gonna change because of this wonderful blessing!! I have wanted children since I was a child, I am looking so forward to this baby!!!! My life is not over, it's only beginning!! Anyone just want to scream when people say all of these negative things!! Ugh!!
Re: Sick of the negativity!!
Edit to add: I can't remember what life was like before DS. We have a blast with him. No, we don't frequent bars or go on as many dates abynore, but that's mostly because we enjoy his company so much.
In ways they are right, you won't get a lazy day, sleep in , quiet time and your life will completely change. But, you will be the happiest you have ever been and will wonder what the hell you were doing with your time before your child came in to your life. It is the best thing ever so don't let people's crap spoil it for you.
I've only had two people say stupid things to me, unfortunately they were both immediate family members, but what can you do.... I just know now to keep those people at arm's length regarding anything related to pregnancy.
Hope you have some supportive people as well!
DST T4L
I just don't understand why other people have to be rude and negative about such a happy time in other people's lives. Hold your head high, we all got your back
Silver Lining: My mom calls it our "next great adventure."
Most at of my friends already have children, and they say having a newborn is easy it's the terrible 2s and 3s that are a challenge. However, they all say it's totally worth it.
I'm sorry you are getting these negative comments.
And my sister has 2 kids. My niece is 7 (going on 17), my nephew is 5. They both had the Terrible Twos, but my niece was a Three-nager to the max!!! She is just like me when it comes to all her bad habits and her attitude. Oops!
I always hated when people who are adamantly against having kids would post all this stuff on Facebook about how great it is to not have kids and how your life sucks when you have kids. I just feel bad for those people. I mean it's true that parenting isn't for everyone but the people who honestly believe that people with children must hate their lives is just sad. They have no clue what they're missing. One of the many reasons I do not miss having a Facebook account.
Everyone's reaction to our first pregnancy was positive, some "oh no" reactions to our second because of how quick it came after our first, mostly from others with kids "too close" in age. MILs reaction to our third pregnancy (in less then 4 years) "I wish you hadn't done that". Otherwise, happy across the board.
Just like I say about all the childbirth horror stories: If it were so terrible, then there wouldn't be 2nd children (and I had 2 of the worst childbirths of anyone that I know, yet am game for a third).
Enjoy your pregnancy as best you can. Ignore the haters. Parenthood is amazing.
I'm getting these comments as a FTM...mostly from co-workers and a handful of friends that border on the negative attitude-wise all the time anyways.. I'm 34 and my husband is 39 so it is just ridiculous frankly that we are hearing it. With friends I can shut it down pretty quickly with a glare or a snarky comment but co-workers are the worst to deal with (office politics and "play nice" and all).
Some of this is not necessarily negativity. It's reality. Once the baby is here, you really won't sleep for awhile. There will inevitably be challenges - whether it be from feeding, sleeping, colic, diapering, unexpected complications during labor, postpartum depression, etc. Even your best made plans will be broken.
But, it is one of the best seasons of life. I did not enjoy every moment of my DD's newborn stage, yet I miss it and look forward to it with baby #2. Being a parent is hard, and this chapter will hands-down be your most difficult yet, but it truly is the most rewarding.
I say ride the pregnancy high, but know what to expect. It's all worth it.
@scotten where is this 'pregnancy high' and how do I get it?
I swear I'm not a pessimist!
The thing I hate the most is the condescending attitude that adjoins the advice I have gotten from a select few just because I'm a FTM. It isn't in what these people say, its honestly in how they say it. I'm well aware that being a mom is going to be difficult, I won't be getting much (if any) sleep, I'm going to have several melt-down moments (whether they last minutes, hours or, hell, weeks), I'll worry I won't know what I'm doing (and probably because I won't know what I'm doing), etc., etc. When those bits of advice are given to me and accompanied by "but here is something that helped"/"one great thing to remember during those times is X"/etc. I take the advice a lot better than advice that comes across as smug/better than thou. The latter is my biggest beef I guess.
I work in an office of mostly women, many of whom have young teens at home. Their outlook has been so inspiring; it's a totally different mindset. "Pull through the first few weeks and its absolute heaven from there on out." Is the most 'negative' comment I've gotten. My friends, although childless, have been equally amazing. The outpour of support and love is just staggering.
The difference in our experiences has made a bit of an impact I think- he brings up the negatives occasionally, and I have to remind him that we're in it together. ❤
I swear people seem afraid for us when we tell them we're having twins! And then they start to laugh! Unless you're going to tell me that it's not as bad as you think, I don't want to hear it!! I