Husband has existing severe anxiety

lama1987 · December 2015

Hi all!
My husband has struggled with severe depression and anxiety for as long as I've known him (over 10 years). He is on 2 medications (lowest dose available for both) to control it. It took about 5 years to find and adjust this combination to work for him. It is more difficult to manage in the winter as days are shorter and we are more confined. We are both anxious about how the birth of our first child with affect him. Do you think it would be out of line to ask his doctor to prescribe a precautionary 1 or 2 tablets of Xanax or something similar in case he ends up with a full blown anxiety attack?

SarahFoley725 · December 2015

I'm not certain if you mean for you to ask his doctor or for your husband to ask. If you mean you'd ask, I think it's very unreasonable. If my husband asked my doctor to prescribe something for me "just in case" I'd be incredibly hurt. Don't get me wrong, I can see that this is all coming from a good place and that you just want to help your husband cope, but I honestly don't think it's your place to ask his dr to give him meds. (If that's the question you were asking)

Now, I think this is a conversation worth having with your husband. "How are you feeling about the baby? Would it make you feel better if you maybe had some Xanax on hand? Maybe you could ask the doctor at your next appointment what they think. I completely support you having it if it will make you feel better". Even though you have a reason to worry, it really needs to be his decision.

Good luck!

jenniferamcooper · December 2015

It's so great you two are open about this and thinking in advance. Bringing a newborn home can be hard and stressful, combining that with weird eating patterns and sleeping patterns and it can be overwhelming. Hopefully you have an easy baby, our first was really high maintenance.

We don't have a history of anxiety or depression (although I did get some post-partum anxiety around 4 months PP) but we were open and did mental health check ins and were easy on ourselves when needed. You don't have to be super parents, if hubby is feeling overwhelmed trying to help you and baby and work then let something slide - we didn't wash our floors for months

And of course a just-in-case Xanax or two being available might be nice to have on hand. Knowing that anxiety is really bad (especially at night) there's no waiting at a doctors, pharmacists, etc.

Taraphanie · December 2015

I think it's a good idea to ask the doctor to prescribe some Xanax just in case. Your husband will probably feel better knowing that he has an option if things get really stressful for him. I think it's better to have it and not use it than you having to deal with the new baby and your husband having an anxiety attack.

herfst80 · December 2015

I agree with pp. You can always ask for it. I work as a psychologist and a lot of my patients (although they are mostly adolescents) are really comforted by the idea they have the medication at home or in their wallet just in case. Good luck!

SarahFoley725 · December 2015

In thy case go for it! The worst they can say is no.

lindscnn1 · December 2015

I have had depression since I was a kid. My usual dose of Zoloft is 200MG but while I am pregnant I lowered it myself to 100mg. I have had my husband go with me to my appointments when the prescription needs adjusted so the doctor can hear not only from me but what my husband sees happening. Is your husband comfortable with you going with him to his next appointment? Also, like you said Xanax is one of those drugs that pill shoppers search out. Maybe your husband and the doctor would feel more comfortable with Clonipin. My father in-law has severe panic attacks and he is prescribed the Clonipin instead. He can normally calm himself down without it but he feels more in control knowing he has it as backup if necessary. I was offered Xanax a couple years ago for my Generalized Anxiety Disorder(GAD) but I declined it because of its addictive nature. Your husband may need a simple adjustment of his current meds too. I would go with him to his next appointment if he's willing to let you. Good luck.
Edited to add the winter months are extremely hard on me as well. I know men think tanning beds are just for women but I always used tanning beds during the winter. Even once a week for 10 minutes really helped. This winter I am pregnant so I won't use the tanning beds, but it is worth a try.

lama1987 · December 2015

I appreciate the quick reply! This is something we both have discussed. It was his idea as his PCP has given him prescriptions for it in the past during times where he feels overwhelmed (ie new job and moving). We live in an area where 'pill seekers' are rampant so he gets a bit anxious requesting additional help. I told him if he feels like it would be helpful then it couldn't hurt to ask. We just wanted others opinions if or suggestions on how new dads with severe anxiety coped with a new baby. Baby is very much wanted :-)

jstanton0822 · December 2015

DH has bad anxiety and although he has weaned himself off them, he's glad he has a prescription just in case.
Honestly though, we've done our best to manage his drug free. He does okay but we don't go out much.

kernj316 · December 2015

Hi! My husband developed anxiety and panic attacks while I was pregnant with our first. We made sure he had Xanax in his hospital bag as a "just in case." I think mostly he feels better knowing he has it if he needs it. As do I! I think he told me he did take one while we were in the hospital with our first (I didn't notice!). And a quick thing we learned from our hospital tour with our first - mothers will get all meds through the hospital (including prescription) but dads need to bring anything they may need (pharmacy won't dispense unless you are an admitted patient). So I think if either of you are concerned, talk to his PCP and don't feel bad about having some meds in case they are needed. It would be much harder to deal with him having severe anxiety when you need his support! And you never know how labor will go so it can be stressful for everyone. Best of luck! My hubby did way better through labor and the toughest newborn days than I ever could have hoped so I was grateful he made sure he could take care of himself so he could be there for us.

Husband has existing severe anxiety

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