Can't help but to be a lil bummed about Christmas announcements

PrayingMom2Be · December 2015

Hi all just wanted to vent a bit...

So right on Christmas morning on my FB timeline is about 3 to 5 birth announcements and of course I'm happy and wish them all the best but can't help to feel a lil jealous which will eventually go away because they are ppl I don't see often. However just on Saturday evening at a night out for my DH's bday, one of my sisters texts me that one of my nephews and his fiancé are expecting (their both out with us) and I confirm with them. They both broke the news then and there to us and while everyone else is congratulating and hugging them, I was personally a bit reserved because in all honesty I am hurt, jealous and envious that they are expecting before us (we're pretty close to each other)! It only took them a year and I'm over here having a pity party for myself because it's been almost 2 years of really trying and 3 failed IVF attempts! Ik my nephew's fiancé knows my reaction was not the normal me and it's true because I even caught myself pulling back. Call me crazy but I kind of wanna avoid them only because I don't wanna get emotional but I am honestly happy for them! I just can't help how I'm feeling right now...
Anyone have words of wisdom for me please?!
Anything is greatly appreciated, TIA!

vssbrm · December 2015

I have no words of wisdom, but I know how you feel. Our times will come, and if you need to distance yourself for a little bit, so that you can provide as close of the amount of excitement for them as they will have for you, I think that is ok.

rayoflight80 · December 2015

I know how you feel. We had a couple of announcements on Christmas and of course my timeline is full of happy baby pics. I just try to remind myself that these are all people I love and we'll get there one day.

Minnie1155 · December 2015

Knottie01971686 said:
I know how you feel. We had a couple of announcements on Christmas and of course my timeline is full of happy baby pics. I just try to remind myself that these are all people I love and we'll get there one day.

I agree with this. I know how you're feeling too. I've chosen to skip some events where announcements were being made, it was a hard choice but I know myself and I didn't want my mix of feelings to take away from what they deserve to be feeling. I congratulated these people separately, so they know I am happy for them because I really am, just sad for myself. I've learned it is possible to feel so many emotions at the same time. Infertility does crazy things to you, at least it has for me, and I think j giving myself time to process and taking care of me has helped immensely. I found a local support group for infertility which has helped me feel more normal and less crazy. Wishing you the best.

PrayingMom2Be · December 2015

Thank u all, this is what I needed to hear! Sadly idk if DH would appreciate me missing today's event since it's actually his bday and we've had it planned for so long. Going thru infertility does give u some serious emotions, I wanna hug and be so happy for them but at the same time I wanna break down and cry my eyes out!
I'm not quite sure where I am at right now...

Thanks again everyone!

mskeenan · December 2015

Ugh I'm so sorry . I know the feeling . I really thought about deactivating my Facebook account around the holidays to avoid the pregnancy announcements . I feel guilty that I'm so bitter . I want to be happy for people and in a way I am . I just feel angry like why can't that be me ? You are not alone in your feelings !

My best friend is having her gender reveal the weekend (maybe even the same day ) of my tentatively scheduled egg retrieval . I seriously don't know how I'm going to go . Is that awful ? She knows I'm having the procedure but I don't think she understands the emotional toll it will have on me . I don't know what to do !!

wifeinraleigh28 · December 2015

I know how you feel too. My only word of advice is to stop going on Facebook. Last week I turned off all notifications and moved the icon on my phone into a sub folder where it's not staring me in the face anymore. I haven't been on in over a week and I honestly feel so much better. It was nonstop baby pictures and pregnancy announcements as I would scroll down my newsfeed, and I was getting upset multiple times a day just by opening the app. I know some people deactivate their accounts but I didn't want to draw attention to myself by doing that. It's still there in case a family member tells me to check what they just posted.

I know that doesn't help the text message or phone call announcements, but I find that if I didn't just read 25 announcements on FB I'm less upset when I get announcements in other ways from people who actually matter

PrayingMom2Be · December 2015

@mskeenan I think if ur friend knows about ur procedure she'll understand but we really gotta do what's best for us at the end of the day.
Its harder for me because no one knows outside of my in-laws and one sibling so everyone else is in the dark about our IF struggles. Now I'm also thinking great if I get pregnant we'll be pregnant together and we'll be fighting for the spotlight! (Yes I'm insane!)
I'm praying and digging deep to find the sincere happiness for my nephew and his fiancé so when it's our turn the feelings will be reciprocated!

estellegetty · December 2015

Last year I felt the same way. Two of my friends announced they were pregnant at the same time and I couldn't stop being angry for a few weeks. I was so ashamed of being angry and not even so much sad. I beat myself up over it for a while. Then one of the friends lost the baby at 13 weeks and I was devastated. I felt like somehow I was responsible even though I never ever ever wished anything bad on them. Since then I've kind of had a new outlook on all things pregnancy. I know it sounds crazy.

Anyway, I agree that taking a break from FB might help.

Hugs to all.

CCBrownEyedGirl · December 2015

Hugs. We've all been there. Ups and downs.

PrayingMom2Be · December 2015

Thanks again for all the support! I'm actually proud of myself and kept it together! They had their first appt today and I text to follow up with them. She of course happily sent a pic of their u/s and her due date is 07/15. I'm excited for them and excited to add another great niece/nephew to the family but sadly still have my emotions hidden in the back of jealousy and envy! I also just realized that she found out on her own on 11/18, the same day as my BETA from my failed 3rd IVF attempt!
I can't help how I feel and DH says these are the cards that was dealt to us and it sucks but we can't control that but we can certainly control the outcome. Him basically saying that we are blessed to have the opportunities to even try for our baby(ies) and it's not easy but we pray for the positive outcome! DH is really my calm in a thunderstorm, he makes sense when I don't!

Stay strong everyone and remember only the tough are given battles that will succeed!

RipleyLV426 · January 2016

I avoid Facebook like the plague now a days. Both of my husbands best friends wives had babies in November. It's so hard to feel so jealous, when you really love them and want to be happy. I feel guilty because I haven't been to see either baby...I don't think I could handle it right now. My DH says that's not me being selfish, it's just knowing what my emotional limits are. @PrayingMom2Be I totally understand and agree that my DH is my calming element. I obsess over everything, and he's the one to make me sit and take a breath. It's a really crap experience feeling some not so great feelings towards people you love, and are supposed to be happy for. But we all have to realize that we know our limits, and for our own emotion health, we shouldn't cross them.

wifeinraleigh28 · January 2016

I have quite a few friends who are serial facebookers who post photos of their babies just about every hour of every day. I couldn't handle it anymore. And now that I no longer check FB, the friends who do matter still talk to me in other ways and send me an occasional photo (which I actually appreciate getting). The amount of attention you get from posting things on FB is something I have fallen victim to as well in the past, so I don't blame people for using it to get attention from others. I just know that the best thing for me right now is to not be part of it!

Want a personalized experience?

Can't help but to be a lil bummed about Christmas announcements

Re: Can't help but to be a lil bummed about Christmas announcements

Just call me CC.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards