Nobody believes me that I NEEDED to have a c-section!

kaylareh · October 2015

At least that's how it seems. I am now pregnant with my second and have spoke to my doctor before conception if I could go for a VBAC. My pelvis is super narrow and my tailbone protrudes into too....blocks the baby, Dr knows I will have the same result as the first time so just do a c section and not risk putting the baby in distress. My sister in law (a midwife and has had her two babies at home) and sister (natural birth) both acting like my doctor duped me into it or that they just wanted to hurry me through or it makes the hospital more money. All of these things are so not true!
Has any one else been given the guilt trip?!

helsbels222 · October 2015

I have received some "looks" and small comments when I told a couple people about having a repeat section but nothing like the guilt trip you are getting from your family. I am unsure why you had your first but if it was because of your narrow pelvis then you need to factor that in. My OB advised there a lot of factors in having a successful vbac and I am nervous about the risks so I opted for the Section just recently after wanted a vbac my entire pregnancy. I think if you trust your dr and do some research on your condition, you can come to a better understanding of what would be best for you and your LO.

tracij12 · October 2015

Sorry your family is being so sucky! I never got grief from family - maybe b/c my mom had 3 c-sections and in her day they didn't allow VBAC. I did get it from strange places, like my boss, in the form of 'oh, I forgot you had a c-section, I'm sorry.' Or 'don't you want to at least try to experience the beauty of child birth'.

It was hard but I usually just smiled and ignored or would respond with something like I just can't wait to meet my baby.

c-section shaming really annoys me. I had an emergency c with my first and the stress was so overwhelming. I opted for a repeat c (was also told my pelvis was just too small) and don't regret it one bit!

alisoninda · October 2015

I'm so sorry you've had to deal with that. It's between you and your doctor to decide what is safest for you and your baby.
I have to have a c-section because of myomectomy last year. While my family is very supportive I've definitely had the side eye and raised eyebrows from some friends and colleagues since this is my first pregnancy. Usually I when explain my doctors not wanting me to labor due to risk of uterine rupture they jump into a story they heard about someone they know having a c-section and how disappointing it was....

jamiemerk · October 2015

That's awful. And honestly whether you needed it or chose to have a c-section is no one's business but yours, and your doctors. Some people and there opinions.... A healthy baby is what matters.

camusoh2011 · October 2015

It's funny because I've gotten similar comments from many people. I'm pregnant with twins and my doctor believes that it might just work out to be the safest way for them and for me. I have had two previous deliveries with very little meds and no complications, but because of the extra risk of an extra baby she thinks it would be best. She would also rather have my down for a c-section so that we are guaranteed time in the OR. Some people give me horrible looks and say stupid things about it. I already feel bad enough, but this is our last pregnancy and even though it's sort of a selfish reason I'm glad they can take care of my tubes while they are in there. People will complain no matter what you do and at the end of the day all that matters is you and baby are safe.

GinnyBarrette · October 2015

That stinks! Why do people get so upset by what other women chose to do with their bodies. I'm having a 2nd C-section by choice (I was given the vbac option) and feel very comfortable with my decision. Personally, I think a vaginal birth sounds terrible. But not once have I said that to friends who have chosen that path. Sorry you're dealing with this! Chin up lady! You gotta do you!

stlmomof2 · October 2015

kaylareh said:
At least that's how it seems. I am now pregnant with my second and have spoke to my doctor before conception if I could go for a VBAC. My pelvis is super narrow and my tailbone protrudes into too....blocks the baby, Dr knows I will have the same result as the first time so just do a c section and not risk putting the baby in distress. My sister in law (a midwife and has had her two babies at home) and sister (natural birth) both acting like my doctor duped me into it or that they just wanted to hurry me through or it makes the hospital more money. All of these things are so not true!
Has any one else been given the guilt trip?!

What's funny is when the birth is all finished they will be wanting to see that baby and act like everything is cool. I'd be pissed at them. Its your body, you know it best, they need to get over it.

I know women have successful VBACs but if you feel safer doing a csection by all means go for it. Yeah a csection is more costly but why should that matter to THEM. Geez.. I wish people would be a little more comforting during this difficult time period of pregnancy and not so judgmental. I get crap from strangers when I say I'm having a csection. Really? Yeah I can do one vaginally but you aren't my husband, you aren't living with me 24/7 and if I had another vaginal delivery and tore I would be pissing and shitting myself for the rest of my life. Because little do they know I had a 4th degree episiotomy. My doctor DOES NOT recommend a vaginal birth for me.

Do what's best for you OP!

#endofrant

jerseygirl227 · October 2015

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.

I had a planned c-section (FTM) due to a narrow pelvis and my age (43). More than one doc at my practice suggested it, but ultimately the decision was left up to me. I didn't see a reason to put my body and my baby through all that pushing just to see that she wouldn't fit anyway and we'd have a c-section anyway. Turns out she was 8 pounds and the doc who delivered her said I definitely made the right decision.

I only had one friend mention that, if she were me, she'd try natural first; but, this was after I actually ASKED for her opinion. I also had one friend at my baby shower tell me not to let doctors talk me into it. Other than that, I was pretty lucky with the comments. My mother actually said that she thought the c-section would probably be best, which made me feel at ease.

And, honestly, I am kinda glad I didn't have to go through hours and hours of labor to have my beautiful baby girl. If that makes me less of a mom in some people's eyes then so be it. I don't give a damn.

You do what's right for you, your baby and your family. Tell the others that when you want their opinion you'll ask for it. Good luck!

PugsandKisses · November 2015

Just stop talking to them. They do not have your medical records available to them. If they bring up the subject, just walk away.

Also.

STOP. CARING. WHAT. OTHER. PEOPLE. THINK!!

Your life will be much easier.

shorty91 · December 2015

I had to have a c-section with my second and I had a few people give me some pretty judgemental looks when I told them, even my parents weren't very supportive! My older sister had to have one when she had her son due to the same problem you have, so I went to her a lot for support besides my hubby. No one seemed to believe I needed it done due toy baby having an elevated cord doppler an possible small cord. She was born with 12 in. Of cord wrapped around her neck. I was told if I would have gone naturally the cord definitely would have snapped before she made it out. Dr. do know what they're talking about some times lol

SLGILL1978 · December 2015

That's sad! I have never had a negative thing said about me having a c section in real life. I have gotten some nasty comments online though.

jenniferamcooper · December 2015

Ugh that's so sucky. Families can be the worst.
My hospital are so pro-VBAC that if they said I needed a section this time around I'd take that to heart. Having said that, for all vbacs they schedule a 41-42 week section so they have the OR time booked.
Why are people so mistrustful of doctors? We all know there are some crappy ones out there but the overwhelming majority are skilled professionals that have our best interests at heart.

kiam032 · December 2015

alisoninda said:
I'm so sorry you've had to deal with that. It's between you and your doctor to decide what is safest for you and your baby.
I have to have a c-section because of myomectomy last year. While my family is very supportive I've definitely had the side eye and raised eyebrows from some friends and colleagues since this is my first pregnancy. Usually I when explain my doctors not wanting me to labor due to risk of uterine rupture they jump into a story they heard about someone they know having a c-section and how disappointing it was....

I also had a myomectomy last year. Some people ask me if I'm having a csection or natural. I always let them know csection and explain why to the curious ones to educate them on urine fibroids. I'll BE DAMMED IF SOMEONE HAS SOME SHIT TO SAY! I'LL shut that down real quick!!

kiam032 · December 2015

Uterine fibroids.. Not urine lmao

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