well..here we go. — The Bump
3rd Trimester

well..here we go.

I am 27+5 and am having some trouble. I was a heavy smoker (1 pack of menthols per day) before I found out I was pregnant and immediately cut down to two or three cigarettes a day when I found out. Since then I have done really well on 1 cigarette a day (non menthols) and actually have gone about two or three days at a time with NONE. It's just a cigarette to me, but I just can't say no to it. I have researched and found that I am among the very few women who were able to cut down so quickly and by a large amount. I have tons of trigger pictures when I feel the urge coming on and feel ashamed after every puff. This morning I didn't even smoke a whole cigarette but still can't seem to just kick the habit. I feel selfish and mildly disgusted with myself. My baby is perfect, always kicking and scooting around in there and in the 92% percentile for his gestational age according to the midwife and has no defects or problems that we know of. While that is not justification for my nasty habit, I believe that my cut down in the beginning of pregnancy is the reason for his health being so wonderful! Any help or advice is appreciated. Any nasty comments will be ignored.
ivyvines6

Re: well..here we go.

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  • Have you talked to your OB about alternatives? Kudos to you for kicking so much and also for wanting to get rid of it all together for baby. I don't know if patches or anything like that are safe during pregnancy but I woul think that your doctor would have experience with ways to help pregnant women quit.
  • Geez. I'm scared to drink a Red Bull lol are you not afraid of SIDS? Or the possible side effects the baby could have that aren't detected prior to birth?
    4N6sanightintunisiaDrillSergeantCat
  • Sweet_DSweet_D member
    edited December 2015
    I've heard bad things about ecigs. Sounds like a good idea but you have no idea if it's better or worse than what a cigarette would be.

    It took me much longer than I wanted to quit. I was embarrassed. I was that person still sneaking cigarettes. I cut back a lot too but just couldn't bring myself to fully quit. So I won't judge I've been there. It's so much harder for some people than others. But it is possible.

    I did a lot of reading on whyquit.com and the Allan Carr book. downloaded the smoke free app on my phone as a motivation and a tracker. I about lost my mind first time cold turkey. Took a 3 day break and tried again. My family thought I was out of my mind they were concerned about my mental health trying to quit. Depression set in on day 3 of that first cold turkey and never left till I lit up again. But I KNEW I was running out of time screwing around with quitting. Second time cold turkey I went in with a day by day mindset not "I'm quitting smoking forever". Made a big difference mentally. Also I drank a ton of cranberry juice those first 4 days while my body detoxed. Learned that from why quit. I think the problem try one was my blood sugar was dropping too much and making me stressed and depressed. I went to the mall or a shopping area almost daily to walk. Helped with the cravings and release some stress. Instead of sitting around thinking about that cigarette I was out somewhere that I couldn't smoke and getting some exercise in. I also found a photo of a placenta from a smoking mom and a non smoking mom. Every time I wanted one I pulled up that comparison.

    For me it was days 4-8 both times that really messed with me. I could get though day one and day two ok. But then I mentally and physically started crashing. But remind yourself that if you smoke it's like starting cold turkey all over again. Also since try one was so bad for me it made me nervous to even think about smoking again. I had a E-Z quit Artificial Cigarette that helped for the need to go out and "smoke" too. It has mint flavoring and no smoke. And I rarely use it at this point.

    Hope something that I've been babbling about helps. It takes willpower, support and some research but it is possible. And remember it's never too late. No matter how far along you are you're giving the baby some smoke free days, weeks or months which is better than none!!
    rainbowminionalanna3622essentialpeaceSisterMaryNapalm
  • First and foremost, congratulations on working so hard to quit and putting your baby first. That really shows the kind of mom you are going to be! Addiction is a crippling thing, and it can be very hard to break, even when you have the proper motivation and desire.

    You are taking huge leaps all the time. I suggest speaking with your OB about it and getting suggestions from him/her on safe alternatives to smoking. My Mom quit when I was younger and she actually used this little machine that slowly weaned her off the cigarettes day by day (she had to smoke when it beeped at her, but I beeped with less and less frequency over time until it stopped all together). Clearly you're already down to one (or less than one) a day. Maybe you can try to chase the cravings and visions you have with other mental exercises.

    I wish you luck, you are doing great.
    BabyFruit Ticker


    lindscnn1
  • Keep working on it!
  • Keep trying for sure! I quit years ago but I did have to use the patch to do so. One thing I did, which I know won't work for everyone, is the 7 minute rule, when you feel that smoking urge, wait 7 mins, basically you can get distracted with something else and the urge will pass, it can help with really hard l cravings.
    Sweet_Dalanna3622
  • I quit by cutting down rapidly. I smoked a pack a day too. I managed to quit completely very early in the first trimester. A PP mentioned the 7 minute rule and I have to say that worked for me. Another technique that worked for me was having a hot drink or sweet in place of the cigarette. Hoping you manage to quit successfully before your LO arrives. Good luck.
    essentialpeacelaurabwalker
  • @kristanoah I'm sorry you feel that way. I think it's crazy to carry on with certain habits/addictions while pregnant. I'm allowed to have that opinion. To say, "I'm disgusted with myself and I'm selfish," does not negate the possible harm. But to each is own. I don't really care if you think that makes me rude to not be supportive about smoking when pregnant. Merry Christmas! ;)
    221bakerstLIly436DrillSergeantCatemjeve
  • First of all op, well done! What you have done is huge and believe it or not, it's very likely you've kicked, or almost kicked, the physical dependency.

    So it sounds like nicotine isn't your biggest enemy. The habit is. So it seems to me if you found something that mimicked the habit, it might be enough to push you off of them for good? eCigarettes were suggested and it sounded like a good idea to me but according to other users, they might not be so then the question is what else is out there that mimics the smoking activity?

    Does anybody know anything about herbal cigarettes? My friend used those once. You still smoke but instead of tar, nicotine, poison etc, they're filled with cloves. I'm sure it's not ideal... but it's probably more ideal than cigarettes right? What about those eCigs that DON'T have nicotine in them but are just vapor water?

    Anybody have insight on those things?
  • @groovylocks - Brilliant. it is so easy for people to dismiss the struggle of addiction.

    Family members of mine are considering investing in a vape shop so I have overheard a little about it. The ecigs are an "unknown" on Health Canada and US FDA technically because they haven't been the subject of clinical studies -- like a ton of other stuff like herbal tea and alternative supplements. The process is unbelievably expensive and prolonged. No doubt about it, though, that nicotine is very bad for a fetus - however, IMHO there is no comparison whatsoever between a ecigarette with nicotine and a real cigarette.

    My relatives have commented that in the USA there is almost outright hostility against ecigarettes, funded by the tobacco lobby. We live in Canada, and while it is true that the legality and laws of ecigs are being debated (re municipal zoning of vape shops and with Health Canada re importation and regulation, etc), the overall public sentiment about ecigarettes is very different in this area.

    Hope I didn't sound unsupportive of OP. Good luck to you, OP!
    groovylocksjenniferamcooper
  • @groovylocks - Brilliant. it is so easy for people to dismiss the struggle of addiction.

    Family members of mine are considering investing in a vape shop so I have overheard a little about it. The ecigs are an "unknown" on Health Canada and US FDA technically because they haven't been the subject of clinical studies -- like a ton of other stuff like herbal tea and alternative supplements. The process is unbelievably expensive and prolonged. No doubt about it, though, that nicotine is very bad for a fetus - however, IMHO there is no comparison whatsoever between a ecigarette with nicotine and a real cigarette.

    My relatives have commented that in the USA there is almost outright hostility against ecigarettes, funded by the tobacco lobby. We live in Canada, and while it is true that the legality and laws of ecigs are being debated (re municipal zoning of vape shops and with Health Canada re importation and regulation, etc), the overall public sentiment about ecigarettes is very different in this area.

    Hope I didn't sound unsupportive of OP. Good luck to you, OP!

    I actually think e-cigarettes and vapes are pretty widely accepted in my area (NC, USA -- the tarheel state!) at least among people my age and a little younger, and I've tried both. I like them. I just choose not to use them while pregnant because I don't really know what's in them. I would guess that they're better than smoking cigarettes, but by how much, I'm not sure. I choose to abstain for now. I think it's a lot similar of a mentality to avoiding aspartame and artificial ingredients in general while pregnant. I would typically say aspartame is better than sugar, but when I'm pregnant I just go with the regular sugar because it's "natural".
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @groovylocks - Brilliant. it is so easy for people to dismiss the struggle of addiction. Family members of mine are considering investing in a vape shop so I have overheard a little about it. The ecigs are an "unknown" on Health Canada and US FDA technically because they haven't been the subject of clinical studies -- like a ton of other stuff like herbal tea and alternative supplements. The process is unbelievably expensive and prolonged. No doubt about it, though, that nicotine is very bad for a fetus - however, IMHO there is no comparison whatsoever between a ecigarette with nicotine and a real cigarette. My relatives have commented that in the USA there is almost outright hostility against ecigarettes, funded by the tobacco lobby. We live in Canada, and while it is true that the legality and laws of ecigs are being debated (re municipal zoning of vape shops and with Health Canada re importation and regulation, etc), the overall public sentiment about ecigarettes is very different in this area. Hope I didn't sound unsupportive of OP. Good luck to you, OP!
    I know in Halifax NS (where i'm from but don't live anymore) it is almost impsosible to get them. While in Michigan USA (where i live now) you can get all different kinds including those that look and feel like real cigarettes. 

    But halifax is only one part of canada and we've always been weird about... a lot of things. It's not a surprise to me that eCigarettes were so demonized there.
  • I've struggled with addiction. Cigarettes are by far the HARDEST to quit. Unless you are truly ready it wont happen. That goes for anything though. I quit cold turkey at 25 weeks. It took alot of will power. I honestly don't think I would of done it, if I didn't have my heart set on breastfeeding. Don't switch to an ecig.... You'll put more nicotine in your blood doing that..... Which will make it harder (for most people) in the long run. Also switching from menthol to lights doesn't make a difference. If you want quit you will. I don't talk to any of my friends that smoke I cut them all out doing so. It also helped my husband doesn't smoke and hated me smoking. Don't force yourself to do something your not ready to. As long as you cut back and understand the risk thats all that matters. My mom smoked and had 4 healthy 9lbs+ full term babies. Your not a bad person if you can't stop don't beat yourself up about it. I'd reward myself when i was cutting back. If i went all day without a cig I go get froyo! Or I'd put 7$ away everyday I wouldn't buy a pack and at the end of the week get a pedicure. After awhile I realized how much I was saving and got into wanting to breastfeed(which don't consider if you smoke) gave me the extra push to quit. Good luck!
    mamakculbSweet_D
  • Kudos for cutting down to one cig a day! I understand how hard it is to quit. I was 5 months along with my first when I finally kicked the habit for good and hate myself for putting my baby at risk. My advice is to take note of what triggers you to have the cig. Mine was the car ride to work. For some reason, that was hardest to break. Always needed to light up in the car. For others it's after a meal. Keep yourself busy or tell yourself, just hold out another 15 min... another 30 min. Chances are you'll forget about needing it during your trigger time and make it through. Also, you said you smoked half. Well tomorrow, smoke a qtr of it. Then a couple days later even less.

    Please by all means do not take the advice of switching to e-cigs. It's been found that they have more chemicals than cigs.

    Good luck!
  • Personally, cold turkey was the only way it worked for me. I had been smoking for 14 years when I got pregnant with my first. Before that, all my attempts to quit gradually, failed. The day after I found out I was pregnant, I quit cold turkey. I threw away the rest of what I had ( and poured dirty water over it as not to take them back out). I also had an incredible support and encouragement from my husband. Every time I wanted one, he would help distract me and let me know that I had the will power to do it. For me, believing that I can quit was a huge factor in being able to do it.
    It's not easy. But you can do it and you need to believe that you can. You have already made a huge progress, which should tell you that you can quit all the way! Good luck!
    September Sig challenge: Fall
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    emjeve
  • My husband is trying to quit smoking and I know how rough it can be. He switched to ecigs and now I'm more concerned about him quitting ecigs then I ever was about cigarettes.

    I don't know if this is comforting or not, but my husband was born to heavy cocaine and meth users while pregnant and, except for extreme ADHD, he turned out fine. Just remember that while an addiction increases the risk of defects, it doesn't cement your baby's fate. All of out parents were born to smokers, since they didn't know any better back then. Don't fall into the self hate and blame, that makes it even harder to quit. I don't know if this helps or hurts or not, but I was aiming for reassuring.
    kelseyg002TheBeesBonnett
  • As an ex-smoker (pack a day) I understand it's hard to quit but it's not impossible I quit about 7 years ago and never looked back. You just have a decide how badly you want it and just do it.

    I want to have a drink but I won't. Because I have to think of what's best for my baby. Sorry but you need to do the same. Whether you are smoking menthol or not, you are still bringing toxins into your body.

    Maybe I had an easier time quitting than most, but I really do feel it's more mind over matter. Set daily goals for yourself. One day you just won't have one. Then the next day. Before you know it, it's a week, then you will feel disapponted in yourself if you cave.

    Best of luck !!

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    groovylocks221bakerst
  • cg0112358cg0112358 member
    edited December 2015
    Nothing to add as far as suggestions but just had to comment. You are doing an amazing job, OP. Addictions are not easy to overcome and you have made tremendous progress in kicking your habit. Best wishes to you as you continue in your efforts to stop smoking.
    DS1: 8/3/10, DD1: 8/17/13, DD2: 8/13/15
    Twins lost to due to partial molar pregnancy: September 2011 
    ~~PAL, PgAL Always Welcome~~
    mamakculbgroovylocksSarahFoley725Sweet_D
  • Wow, congrats for cutting down so drastically! I've got a next door neighbor whom I thought was 80. Turns out he's in his early 50's and has emphysema. My own father quit cold turkey when he found out he had throat cancer. He just decided that his family was more important than the cigarettes. Just keep up what you're doing, you're clearly doing a good job. And remember your little one is going to think the same thing I do about my dad - that I still need him and could bear the thought of losing him. Definitely don't wait until a cancer diagnosis to finish quitting. It's so not worth it.
  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    edited December 2015
    @groovylocks you're right. I should have kept it to myself. It was a tacky comment, I think some of things I read on here just surprise me. I do understand addiction and it's the reason I have no relationship with my own mother. I guess I've become callous to it because of what it's cost my family. I sincerely hope OP can overcome this. I don't understand smoking because I've never had one cigarette in my life. I realize that probably puts me in the minority. Thank you for being objective in your response.
    I'm sorry to hear you had a mother who struggled with addiction. And listen, my first loyalty in situations like that is to those affected by the addict's behaviour. I hate that that happened to you. And I think it's amazing that you had a role model who modeled addictive behaviour and you appear to not give into it yourself. That takes a ton of strength and insight. I hope you are doing well.. I know how hard it is to turn your back on a loved one who is addicted. For me, it was a very close friend. 

    Oh and I apologize for using the term "ill-informed" - as  I now believe you are anything but that.
  • @groovylocks yay another Canadian. I live in Halifax and ECigs are super popular here now. We convinced my grandmother who was a smoker since she was 8 to make the switch.

    I came on here to make the suggestion. ECigs are not ideal at all but IMO better than a cig a day. This is entirely anecdotal but my grandma had been on her ECig for a year and we went to NYC this summer and she forgot her charger. She didn't want to purchase a new one so she just bought cigs because they were so darn cheap in the US (I've never smoked so I don't know prices but a current pack is over $15 here) and by the next day she was in awful shape - couldn't walk as far without stopping and coughing, wheezing. By the end of the week she sounded awful, it was her 70th birthday and I wasn't sure if she was going to make it (mostly a joke but she did use my rescue asthma inhaler hourly).

    Good job on trying @Lovechild9290 and kudos for putting your issue out there.
  • @groovylocks yay another Canadian. I live in Halifax and ECigs are super popular here now. We convinced my grandmother who was a smoker since she was 8 to make the switch.

    I came on here to make the suggestion. ECigs are not ideal at all but IMO better than a cig a day. This is entirely anecdotal but my grandma had been on her ECig for a year and we went to NYC this summer and she forgot her charger. She didn't want to purchase a new one so she just bought cigs because they were so darn cheap in the US (I've never smoked so I don't know prices but a current pack is over $15 here) and by the next day she was in awful shape - couldn't walk as far without stopping and coughing, wheezing. By the end of the week she sounded awful, it was her 70th birthday and I wasn't sure if she was going to make it (mostly a joke but she did use my rescue asthma inhaler hourly).

    Good job on trying @Lovechild9290 and kudos for putting your issue out there.

    Yeah I'm from there! I miss it terribly. It was hard for vapers when I lived there and I'm glad to see that's changed. How is all the downtown construction looking? I was home in October and could barely get around :(
  • https://www.cnn.com/2015/12/31/health/where-we-stand-now-e-cigarettes/

    An interesting article about the effects of e-cigs.

    I too come from a family where my parents have been smoking for years. It's a touchy subject, but more than anything it's better to be cutting down. You'll get there. I wish my parents could.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Surprise BFP! 06/08/15
    Nadine GraceMarie  02/10/16
    Diagnosed with placenta increta post delivery: emergency partial hysterectomy - cervix and ovaries still intact 
    Gestational surrogacy or adoption TBD

  • @groovylocks construction is coming.. we live and work DT so we're used to it by now but once the convention ctr is finished I think things will be much better. There's other small projects (particularly Spring G btwn Queen and Brunswick) that'll make things suck but it's all necessary.

    On a good note once your LO arrives they'll LOVE the central library. We've been going since my son was 10 months (it opened when he was 10 month) and he loves the play areas!
  • Quitting smoking was one of the hardest things I've ever done.  I think it's great that you've come as far as you have.   Don't give up and keep at it!  I decided to quit when my DSD came home from a DARE meeting telling me that because all the adults around her smoked (me, her dad/my husband, her mom, etc.), she had essentially smoked so many hundreds of cartons of cigarettes in second-hand smoke by that point in her life.  I knew this on an intellectual level, but was so disgusted with myself hearing it come from her mouth.  It was like she flipped a switch in me, and knew that this time, I would be able to quit successfully.  What works for one person might not work for another, but it does help to hear how other people did it, in the event you get some new ideas on things to try.  I wasn't pregnant at the time, but I took Chantix (prescribed by my doctor), and taught myself how to knit (something to do with my hands instead of smoking).  I avoided alcohol for a long time because it was a trigger, and every time I wanted a smoke at work, I took a break and went for a walk around the parking structure.  I quit cold turkey, and I haven't had a cigarette in over 8 years.  YOU CAN DO THIS!  Don't give up, keep trying. 

     

  • Congratulations on getting almost there! When I quit, I knew what my triggers were and avoided them. Thankfully I was never a car smoker, or would smoke at home really, so those weren't griggers and I was safe. However I mostly smoked at school, work, the bar ect, so these were very difficult. I stopped going to the bar/hanging out with any friends who smoked for almost 6 months. At school, I would avoid the bench area where I woild smoke. And work, I would keep my self busy and just not do it. By avoiding triggers at your usual smoking areas it is so much easier to quit. At one cig a day, you are soooo close. Take it a day at a time. If you made it through yesterday, you can make it through today.
  • I smoked as well before getting a bfp. I only smoked 5-6 a day at that point as I knew ahead of time that I wanted to try having a baby so I had cut back from 10 cigs a day. The day I got a bfp, I quit cold tuckey.
    I did the same when I got pregnant with ds. 3 weeks after having him, I was struggling with depression and I started smoking again. Quiting is difficult. Every day I crave a smoke, even after 20 weeks without a single puff. The urge is strongest when dh goes outside to smoke. I sympathize with your struggle. With ds, I tried using hard candies and tooth picks and anything else I could think of. The only thing that has work for me is just reminding myself that smoking is not an option. To me, it isn't that I shouldn't smoke, it's that I can't. That's the only way I keep from lighting one. Best of luck hun.
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