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Sibling Sadness

spfclrspfclr member
in Secondary IF
It seems that since she could talk my now 5 year old daughter has asked when her sister was coming, told me she wanted a sibling, and told her daycare and later her preschool that I was pregnant.  I felt that she didn't know what she was missing and that she has a wonderful life so I never took the comments to heart.  

She now has two baby cousins who have each slept over in the past two weeks and she loved every minute they were here.  Yesterday my daughter told me that that she wished they were both her brothers, then she said, "I really don't like that I'm the only kid in our house."  That took my breath away and gave me a pretty restless night of sleep - the change from just wishing for something to not being happy with her current situation seems so much worse.

She started Kindergarten this year and in the past few months I've often thought that if newest series of treatments doesn't work out that we'll be good as a family of 3, now I'm all confused again.  Boo!
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

TTC #2 since April 2012

Year 1 - nothing

Year 2 - two m/c

Year 3 - unexplained diagnosis & 4 failed IUIs with Clomid/Letrozole

Year 4 - still unexplained & 3 failed IUIs with Follistim & Ovidral

Year 5 - trying on our own

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Re: Sibling Sadness

  • ErikaMGErikaMG member
    I totally feel you. DS says things like that all the time, and it breaks my heart every time. Here's hoping that we can soon provide them with the siblings they long for! ::hugs::
    Me: 43, DH: 41
    DS b. 7/4/2011 via c/s
    TTC #2 since 1/2015
    8/2015 - "unexplained IF", started Levothyroxine
    9/27/15 - IUI #1 (unmedicated) - BFN
    10/26/15 - IUI #2 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
    11/21/15 - IUI #3 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
    12/18/15 - IUI #4 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN

    Report Reply
  • ellebelle2384ellebelle2384 member
    Big huge hugs.  That is so hard.
    Me: 31     DH: 33
    Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
    BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
    BFP#2: 5/3/11 - EDD 1/9/12 - DD Born 1/6/12
    image
    TTC #2 since 12/13
    BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
    BFP#4: MC 5/6/14 at 4w4d - EDD 1/9/15
    BFP#5: MMC discovered 8/4/14 at 9w1d - D&C 8/5/14 - Baby Boy with Trisomy 16 (maternal origin) - EDD 3/8/15
    BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
    IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
    IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
    PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
    FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
    Natural FET 11/4/15 = BFP!
    Beta 9dp5dt = 92

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  • FlamingemuFlamingemu member
    I'm so sorry. My LO asks for a baby sister every other week. You start to become numb to it after a while. 

    Kid #1 - 09/03/12
    Kid #2 - maybe???
    Diagnosed with Severe Ashermans 
    Hysteroscopy #10 - scar tissue grew back reblocking my right tube
    #11 or IVF with scarring still inside?
    1 lone embryo from September 2016 retreival, dx with Trisomy 16, starting fresh
    Report Reply
  • rachlee2010rachlee2010 member
    I'm so sorry to hear this.. It really sucks.  If only these kids knew how much we want to give them that sibling too.  
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  • ErikaMGErikaMG member
    My son started talking about wanting a sister in the car on the way to the grocery store yesterday. Good thing I was facing away from him because I couldn't control the tears. It's so incredibly hard...
    Me: 43, DH: 41
    DS b. 7/4/2011 via c/s
    TTC #2 since 1/2015
    8/2015 - "unexplained IF", started Levothyroxine
    9/27/15 - IUI #1 (unmedicated) - BFN
    10/26/15 - IUI #2 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
    11/21/15 - IUI #3 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
    12/18/15 - IUI #4 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN

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  • GK2009GK2009 member
    Ahhh..that is so hard.  You just have to remember that you are doing the best that you can and that is all you can do.  My son cries every time his cousins leave the house and screams "don't leave!!!!"  He gets so nervous when they start to put their coats on and it breaks my heart... so I know how hard it is... stay strong and big hugs to you. 
    image
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  • spfclrspfclr member
    Thank you all!  I do feel that she has a wonderful life and if she ends up being an only when she's an adult she'll understand that we gave more than a good try to have another.  There have been no more negative comments from her about her sibling status since so hopefully that was just a one time deal - the wanting I can deal with :). 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    TTC #2 since April 2012

    Year 1 - nothing

    Year 2 - two m/c

    Year 3 - unexplained diagnosis & 4 failed IUIs with Clomid/Letrozole

    Year 4 - still unexplained & 3 failed IUIs with Follistim & Ovidral

    Year 5 - trying on our own

    Report Reply
  • jacobsone2jacobsone2 member
    Wow, I totally understand. My 4 yr old daughter always asks me when her baby sister is going to be born. She made a bracelet for her baby sister and keeps it on her dresser. She said she's saving it for her. It breaks my heart into a million pieces.
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  • allyall10allyall10 member
    My son is almost 4 and he's been telling me for a month that he wanted a baby in the house. This morning (after finding out about a BO yesterday), he asked me why God hasn't given us a baby and that he's been praying for one. He said he thinks it will never happen and that God is mad at us. I totally didn't know what to say and felt so much worse now that there wasn't a baby on the way for him. Before, I just knew we were going to tell him soon.
    FET 11/20/15 - BFP #3- 11/30/15 - BO at 7w1d on 12/21/15
    IVF (egg donor #2) in July 2015 - BFN
    FET in January 2014 - BFP - Blighted Ovum
    IVF (egg donor #1) in April 2011 - BFP - DS Born 1/3/12
    Report Reply
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