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December 2015 Moms
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NEED ADVICE

kelsydietzkelsydietz member
in December 2015 Moms
So I'm 39 weeks pregnant, and the father of the baby and I have been arguing about who should be in the deliver room. I want him, my mom and dad. He thinks it is unfair that I do not want his mother in the room. We already don't have a very close relationship and I don't feel comfortable with her in there. I mean, she won't even go to any of the ultrasounds we have invited her to. She is extremely jealous of my parents because we have a very close relationship with them. But that's all beside the point, I want my mom and dad because I need them for my support system, not because I want them to meet the baby first! The father and his mother both think I should have her there instead of my dad and I can't imagine not having my dad by my side when I'm in pain. Any body else go through this?
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Re: NEED ADVICE

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  • Mizuiro007Mizuiro007 member
    satindawl83 said:

    Your body, your choice. His mother can wait in the waiting room.

    This exactly. It's your body, you're the one needing support. If he wants her there to support him she can do so from outside the room. There's no reason she can't fetch food and drinks for your husband and parents. If that will still make you uncomfortable then put your foot down. Quite a few people have mentioned on similar threads to let the nurses be the bad guys. The same goes even if your husband doesn't agree. Let them explain how bad it could be to have someone there who is stressing you out.
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  • arz1215arz1215 member
    Agree with PPs.. Your body, your choice. Do what makes you comfortable. You definitely don't need added stress! Good luck
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  • dec15mumdec15mum member
    You're the one in labour so you're the one that calls the shots.
    It's your body that's going to be exposed and you shouldn't have to justify who sees that and who doesn't
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  • jennknitsprettyjennknitspretty member
    "Babe, I'm the one who will be naked on the bed pushing a baby out of my vagina for everyone to see. That is not something I am okay with your mom seeing. She is welcome to wait in the waiting room and come meet baby once we are both cleaned up. But not before."

    I feel very lucky that my mom didn't want to be in there and I was able to have it be just me and my hubs.
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  • caityleigh92caityleigh92 member
    When I was 17 years old and in labor with my first I had my bf (now husband), my mom and dad in the room. For me it was a comfort thing because I was so young and this was so new to me. My husband was only in the room because he was the father. I was so concerned with him seeing gross stuff down there. But like the ladies above said, it's your body, your labor, your choice. You shouldn't have to justify your choice. Tell the father if he can't respect your choice then he can sit in the waiting room next to his mother. The only 2 people who matter are you and the baby. Not him, not your parents, and not his mother's feelings.
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