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Intro from the grinch

glitterfingersglitterfingers member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
I was very excited a year after a chemical pregnancy to get another BFP around Halloween. A few days before thanksgiving at my 8 week u/s appt found out that I had a gestational sac measuring 6 weeks. My Dr. confirmed a week later no growth and no heartbeat.

I took two rounds of misoprostol (cytotec) vaginally with almost no bleeding and so decided to do a D&C since it's now been 5 weeks since the sac stopped growing and my body will not let go. Of course my bleeding and cramps are starting to slightly increase now RIGHT BEFORE the D&C scheduled for Friday so that is also up in the air.

It's felt like a very big roller coaster before the holidays and I am not feeling like hanging out with two very pregnant friends, one very pregnant coworker and several friends with infants. I'm really starting to feel like a grinch and hoping it wears off soon. My husband has been very supportive and I'm very thankful for that right now. I had no idea what a missed miscarriage was or that the process would take this long.
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Re: Intro from the grinch

  • vallericvalleric member
    Take care of yourself first, if you don't want to go, then don't. That's what I do. It's a lot easier for my emotional well being if I avoid pregnant people.
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  • silentPsilentP member
    I'm so sorry. I don't blame you for feeling like the grinch and definitely do what you need to do to get through the first few weeks. I feel like that was when things were most raw for me.

    I hope all goes well this week. I have had two MMCs and two D&Cs, so I feel you. I hope 2016 brings you good news!
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  • simcal18simcal18 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss.  You are absolutely allowed to be grinchy at this point--how can you be emotionally recovered if your hormones are still all over the place and your body hasn't even completed the process of miscarrying yet?  Take care of yourself--we're here for you for support.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

    DH and I:  Early/mid 30s
    Married 7/15
    TTC #1 as of 8/15
    BFP 11/21/15 -- MC confirmed 12/1/15
    BFP #2 2/18/16
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  • chloe97chloe97 member
    I'm sorry for your loss and echo all the PP comments about caring for yourself. I'm 10 days post D&C and starting to feel a bit better, but was forced to hang out with my recently engaged 21 year old cousin who got pregnant with her 2nd unplanned pregnancy with an IUD inside this weekend. I couldn't even say congratulations to her. Looking at her made me ill. How is this fair? I did all the right things-waited until I met the right guy, had s stable career, saved $$$, and she gets to raise 2 kids in poverty.

    One of my friends announced that she's 12 weeks and due on my due date. I can't even look at her, have hid her on Facebook, and plan on avoiding her completely until I have a healthy baby. I can't handle it at all. Until I'm pregnant again, I'm giving myself permission to be a total grinch. Anyone who has been through this will understand. When I found out I was pregnant, I was deathly afraid of telling friends who I knew had issues conceiving. Women get it, so don't feel bad. Take care of yourself and do what you need to do- even if it's curling up on your couch with your H and hibernating all winter.
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  • dubcompaniondubcompanion member
    So sorry to hear about your loss and the long process of it. I agree with PPs - don't feel bad about being grinch. Yesterday, I checked the mail, and by the look of one envelope, I knew I'd received an annual Christmas photo card from one of my pregnant friends. I had my husband open it. He took one look at it and asked if I wanted him to throw it away. I only had to nod my head once, and he did just that. It's not that I dislike my friend or am not happy for her and her healthy growing family, but I know my triggers. She's also not so close that I have told her that I miscarried. (Weird, I know - considering she's close enough of a friend to send me annual greeting cards. She's a nice girl, but not someone I consider to be close with.) 

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. Please keep us posted. We're happy to help or provide support here. Just know you're not alone in feeling grinchy. 
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  • glitterfingersglitterfingers member
    Thanks for the reassurance ladies. Fortunately I do not think I will need the D&C as I passed significant materials a few hours ago (although in retrospect I would have opted for the D&C originally instead of the misoprostol). The pains were some of the most intense I've ever had but were relatively short lived. I am really glad my OBGYN gave me Tylenol plus codeine. Back to bed...
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  • BooksForMe23BooksForMe23 member
    I relate to your feelings so much.  Why did this crappy stuff have to happen right before Christmas?  I'm thinking about skipping Christmas and staying home with my husband and cats.
    TTC #1 since June 2015
    BFP #1 Nov 2015 ended in MC Dec 26 2015
    BFP #2 Feb 2016, EDD Nov 8 2016




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  • glitterfingersglitterfingers member
    Because of my luck I still had to have the D&C! It was quick though and way easier than the natural part. I haven't been too emotional lately since I found out things were not working before thanksgiving I've had some time to grieve. Hoping the best for all you ladies.
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  • BumblebeauBumblebeau member
    omg, i'm right there with you. i'm about two steps from burning down a tree or sledgehammering a nutcracker. i had a d&c on 11/11/15 after MMC on 11/6/15. it was my first pregnancy, i don't have any other kids, and i'm skipping every holiday party, avoiding every person i know with a kid, and wearing my grumpiness like steel-plated righteousness - even a month later!

    my heart goes out to everyone. this is a really shitty thing that none of us deserves, but don't feel bad about working through your grief. you have to go through the unthinkable - those happy preggo friends can go waddle somewhere else, and if they really care about you, they will do it gladly.
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  • njs1910njs1910 member
    So sorry for the loss of your precious baby. I'm right there with you all. I'm now 12 days post D&C from miscarriage number three. Realizing the outlook for future children is very bleak has left me enjoying a large amount of ETOH and not feeling much Christmas cheer. I also have a very pregnant bestie who I can't even bear to be near right now and since I'm an RN every nurse I work with keeps reminding me that my baby "just wasn't ok" and how it was "god's will"....really just makes me want to throat punch one of them. Just do what you have to do for your sanity and take care of you! The rest will work itself out. ((Hugs))
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