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February 2016 Moms
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When to discuss delivery

flowerintherainflowerintherain member
in February 2016 Moms
Have you lady's discussed the delivery process with your doctor yet? I'm not really sure when this is supposed to happen, but I figured it would've happened already. I'm 30 weeks along and I've been having appointments with my doctor every week to 2 weeks since I was 20 weeks because of early contractions, but he never tells me anything useful. All that happens at every single one of these appointments is vitals, weight, and then doctor comes in, does a 2 minute sonogram where he takes a pic of the baby and listens to the heart, and tells me to come back in a week or 2. Baby's measurements haven't been taken since 20 weeks (maybe that's normal). I'm a FTM and I don't know much about labor, delivery, or babies except for what I've read. Epidurals and c-sections are two things I'd like my doctor to discuss with me.. When is he going to tell me what the process is once I go into labor? Every time I try and ask him anything, he seems rushed and has to go, or goes on about something totally unrelated. Last appointment was on Monday and I asked him about circumcision because I heard that the hospital I'm delivering at doesn't do it, and he just told me he'd refer me to a pediatrician eventually. When is eventually? And on top of this, I was told by the high risk specialist he referred me to that there's a possibility I could deliver a few weeks early due to my short cervix and constant contractions. So I may not even have a full 10 weeks left.. I have an appointment on Jan 7th with the high risk doctor again, maybe they'll tell me more there. Just wondering if I'm being a paranoid FTM, or if yall's doctors have already discussed these kinds of things with you.
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Re: When to discuss delivery

  • alanna3622alanna3622 member
    We attended a one day session at the hospital that included a tour of the dept, introduction to Lamaze, and a review ofdelivery and common delivery-related issues. Very informative and incredibly helpful to have DH there. We only got in at the last minute because there was a cancellation.

    There are similar sessions offerred in your community, I am sure, if your hospItalian doesn't offer this. And come to think of it, the lady next to me in our class was actually going to deliver at a different hospital and was just there for general information.

    In any case, I don't think that the OB prepares you for delivery. What is your state or region? I am sure a Google search will help you find what you need.
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  • srecupidosrecupido member
    I got a lot of answers to those types of questions during our labor course and that hospital. We had to pay for our course but I believe some are free. You have every right to be assertive during your appointments as well- make sure your care giver is aware of your concerns and don't leave until you feel comfortable with the answers.
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  • AussiechickaAussiechicka member
    We did a birth class last time round and that answered a lot of the questions we had. We then wrote out a birth plan, talked it over with the OB and we were good to go. Re the circumcision, our OB was clear we needed to talk to the Ped about that. Basically once baby is out of you and they do the first checks the OB doesn't touch the baby again, you need a Ped to come and visit in hospital.

    You could contact the hospital to see who they have on staff that comes and does that otherwise you need a Ped with visiting rights to that hospital who can come and see you.
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  • BabySeaTurtlesBabySeaTurtles member
    I agree with PPs. First time around I learned about the delivery process and pain management options from my birthing class and a tour of the maternity wing of the hospital. For me, a doula conducted the class and a L&D nurse did the tour so they were able to answer any and all questions I had. Although, my OB did DS' circumcision so that might still need to be discussed. Also, you should soon be getting your belly measured to give an idea of baby's growth. If your belly is measuring small or large then he might order a growth scan.



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  • flowerintherainflowerintherain member
    @alanna3622
    I'm in south Texas. I tried to set up one of those tours/classes at the hospital I am going to deliver at a few weeks ago, and they told me they don't have any classes in English going on until the end of February. So that'll definitely be too late. But I hadn't thought of trying to get into one at one of the other local hospitals. I'll give that a try as soon as the holidays are over. Thank you.

    @srecupido yeah, I guess I should be a bit more assertive with getting my answers or I don't know how else I'm gonna be able to write up a birth plan. English is my OBs second language..and while he is fluent in it, I believe that he doesn't understand what I'm talking about half the time. But that's still no excuse.

    @Aussiechicka How far along were you when you contacted the pediatrician and set things up? Does the pediatrician usually come to the hospital to perform the procedure right when the baby is born, or do you have to take the baby to the pediatricians office as an outpatient procedure?
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  • VitaLunaVitaLuna member
    Like others have said, this is information you get during a birth class. It would be FAR too time consuming for your OB to go in depth with every patient, and you wouldn't want the shortened version of it anyway.

    You can self refer to a pediatrician. Ask around, see if friends have recommendations. I did not set anything up prior to delivering, but had decided who I wanted and called to be sure they were taking patients. When LO was born, the pediatric hospitalist saw her in the hospital, then I called for an appt the day after we got home for a weight check and then another appt a week later with her regular pediatrician.

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  • AussiechickaAussiechicka member
    @flowerintherain we talked to our FP prior to ask for a recommendation and we used the one in hospital (there were 3 to choose from) DS was born at around 5am and she came in by about 9 or so to take a look at him. She came back later that day and the next morning too. She then sent all the paperwork over to our FP and we didn't see her again, just the FP. This time round our FP doesn't have any recommendations (new FP, new hospital) just said to use the hospital one.
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  • SgtLou2SgtLou2 member
    Our L&D info came from taking a class. Our Drs office gives the info on what number to call and when to call when in labor (how many/often contractions) at our 34-35week appt when they do the strep B test and check babies orientation. They don't discuss labor options if you look like you can deliver w/o complications at this point, they advise patients to take classes and read about their options. Once you are at the hospital and in labor, they (or mainly the nurses) will answer questions as you progress and if your status changes, they will discuss that with you at the time. DD's heart rate went down when I was pushing and the Dr discussed with me at that point what our options were if it happened again (but we knew the basic options from the class). As for pediatricians, we asked around our neighborhood and friends for recommendations, checked if any of them were under our insurance, then called the office to see if they took new patients and if the did a "tour" of the office. Once we choose our practice, we just had to let the hospital know after DD was born so that they could let the Dr on call know to come check her out that morning. As for circumcision, the OBs do it (at least in all of our hospitals). If you get it done later, they may refer you to a pediatrician or another specialist (urologist, I think). But I know if we were having it done, it would be by the OB usually the day after birth. The hospital can probably answer that question for you if your OB doesn't do it.
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  • jellybellybean3jellybellybean3 member
    Yes if you do not need a c-section and aren't scheduled to be induced at/by a certain time you should here this information from a prenatal class. I don't think it's the Dr.'s responsibility to go over that information with you. You could probably ask your OB though and get some answers no problem.
    Baby #3 due February. Dx with Spina Bifida Myelo  "good things are coming down the road, just don't stop walking"
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  • MississippiCatfishMississippiCatfish member
    I agree with PPs. It isn't the dr's responsibility to educate you about all the ins and outs of labor and delivery. But it is a good idea to talk about your preferences and questions about his specific practices. For example, "it's important to me that I receive and epidural if there's time, and would like to avoid an episiotomy, and try to breastfeed right away after birth. Are you supportive of all that?"

    This is my third baby with this dr, so our conversation went like this, word for word, "So, is there anything you want to do drastically different this time around?" "Nope." "Alright, sounds good." :)
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  • Sprinkles07Sprinkles07 member
    Second time mom here so I am somewhat familiar with the process. I was induced at a different hospital though so I am not sure about the whole going into labor naturally and whether or not they'll make me wait in a triage room, send me home, or just put me straight where I need to be. I plan on scheduling our hospital tour next week. I'll ask these questions then. I did have a quick discussion about C-Section with my OB at the last appointment. I'd like to avoid it unless absolutely necessary. I was happy to hear that she would also like to avoid. Some people get a little C-section happy and it gives me too much anxiety!
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  • mamacastromamacastro member
    Sounds like you ladies get better treatment. I'm getting pretty annoyed with Kaiser. I started having real contractions last week, went to L&D and they gave me medicine to stop them and then had me see my doc the next day for follow up. My doc never showed up, I saw a midwife who just said to drink more water and that's it. I already have a history of Preclamsia with both my sons and had them both early with CS. Now almost 31 wks and no more appts until mid jan and still one a month, I know that doesn't seem right I should be going more often now especially since I have to have a third CS and still don't even have a date yet
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  • AussiechickaAussiechicka member
    @mamacastro at 30 weeks I switched to twice a month and I go weekly after the next one (I'll be 34 weeks). I was induced last time round at 37 weeks due to pre eclampsia. Your appointment span doesn't sound right....can you ask for more?
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  • mamacastromamacastro member
    I'm going to have to call and see what is going on
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  • flowerintherainflowerintherain member
    @mamacastro yeah, that doesn't sound right to me either. I thought that after you entered the third trimester your appointments were supposed to be every 2 weeks. You think they'd be more frequently than once a month considering your history! And I've also ended up in l&d twice with contractions and my doctor gave me meds to make them stop. He gave me steroid shots for the baby's lungs last time too. But when I asked him if he gave me the shots because he expected me to deliver soon, he said no. When I asked him why I keep having contractions, he doesn't have an answer. Just tells me to stay hydrated and to go to the hospital again if I feel like I need to.
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    DS-02/25/16
    Pregnancy #2-Due 8/24/17 MMC-01/09/17
    DD-Due 10/24/17
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  • lyndee202lyndee202 member
    It's my understanding that it is your resposiblity to read up on labour and delivery and or go to a class. There are way too many variables to even bother discussing this stuff with you and their time is super valuable. Also the doctor won't even be there till its actually time to push..you generally have your nurses and possibly the doctor come a few times if your being induced..they discuss induction and issues when they arise and not much of the hypothetical. My doctor did discuss with me the options I have (small town, no epidural..pain management options..how the on call system works for doctors..you get who you get and not your doctor) but this is my third so it wasn't news.
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  • thisusernamethisusername member
    @mamacastro I think I know men with better OB care than why you're getting!

    Jeeze. I would be SO pissed if my doctor flaked on me, especially after having contractions with your history.

    How're you doing by the way?
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  • thisusernamethisusername member
    My OB doesn't cover delivery in detail either. We lightly covered it in the tour of the MICC but it's on us to take the provided classes. I haven't had any time to do why I signed up for thanks to a ton of new work and needing the money, but I looked at a ton of stuff online and the hospitals websites and grabbed pamphlets while I was there
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  • mamacastromamacastro member
    @thisusername thank you. I'm still having contractions but not as frequent together or as intense as before, just playing by ear right now. Thanks @flowerintherain at least I know i'm not alone with this experience
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  • cMichelle0423cMichelle0423 member
    My midwife said she and I will discuss this at my 32 week appt (in two weeks). With my previous pregnancies, using OB's, we didn't discuss anything until 36 weeks or so.
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  • thisusernamethisusername member
    @mamacastro I'm glad to hear it's better! I hope that little bun waits until it's a perfect crispy golden brown. I also hope your ON pulls their head out of their anus!
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  • purplepenguin3purplepenguin3 member
    I also did a class with my first pregnancy.  Typically at my hospital you pediatrician or the hospitalist that's on duty does any circumcision before you leave the hospital.  

    Just don't get too hung up on labor.  There are so many variables and as others have said your doctor isn't even in the picture most of the time.  So make sure you H knows what you want to have done and that you communicate that with your nurse if you can.  they are the ones that are really running the show.  And the ones that I have had have been so great and will answer any of your questions.  Just don't be afraid to ask for yourself. 
    My Baby Penguins
    DD1: 9/19/11
    DS: 1/1/14
    DD2: 1/31/16




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