Frustrated with my Dr/weight gain

loveymay · December 2015

i know there have been weight threads in the past, but I kind of just need to vent and hear some of your experiences. I am 5'6 and started at 130 pounds. my Dr gave me the recommended 25-35 pound weight gain speech in the beginning. Well Im 25 weeks and have gained 25 pounds. However, Im mostly all belly. Im still wearing my regular jeans (with a belly band) and my thighs/butt still fit in my jeans. I can see Ive gained some fat around my hips, but nothing extreme or anything. The thing is that Im still eating like I always have. I work night shift, so I eat a regular dinner at home, and bring things like apples, oranges, bananas, yogurt or string cheese to work to eat during my shift. In the mornings, if I eat breakfast before going to bed, its either peanut butter toast or raisin bran. Every so often, DH and I will go out for dinner or I'll splurge and eat a treat once in a while.

Anyway, at my last appointment earlier this week (which was first thing in the morning, after I had been on my feet all night at work, and bloated) they weigh me and the nurse practioner said "someone must have enjoyed their Thanksgiving dinner!" I told her actually no, because I threw up in the car ride home from my husband's parents house (i forgot to take my diclegis over the holiday weekend, bad idea). I know she was just trying to make light of it I guess, but it bothers me and made me feel bad. She then went on to say that I need to "be really careful from here on out" because I could gain 40 pounds by the end. I dont know what Im supposed to do, I refuse to eat less and Im already eating healthy. Im assuming my body just needed more weight to support pregnancy, and its not all fat anyway! So now I feel guilty if I eat anything besides fruit or salad, and I dread every appointment because they always say something to me about weight gain. You can look at me and see im all belly anyway, and I feel like they think Im just gorging on fast food and junk. I am concious of my health and understamd the risks og gaining excessive amounts of weight, but I also dont think 5 pounds over the stupid 25-35 is a huge deal. I feel like as long as Im healthy and my baby is healthy, then Im doing okay. I feel bad about myself when I leave my appointments, instead if being excited from hearing baby's heartbeat. Has anyone had similar experiences with their doctors? Or eating healthy yet still gained more than the 25-35 recommendation?

imrachellea · December 2015

I got the weight talk about halfway through with DD1 when I had gained over 20lbs by 20 weeks. I ended up gaining a total of 45lbs. And I also started out a bit heavier than you did. I only heard anything from one midwife, the other midwives and doctors said everything was fine, some women just gain more than others. Honestly I think that at a starting weight of 130, 40lbs would be NBD for you. I was still told to gain 25-35lbs this time around and I started out a little more than I was last time. As long as you're making healthy choices, I honestly wouldn't be too worried.

sarahufl · December 2015

loveymay said:

Anyway, at my last appointment earlier this week (which was first thing in the morning, after I had been on my feet all night at work, and bloated) they weigh me and the nurse practioner said "someone must have enjoyed their Thanksgiving dinner!"

I would comment about this to the doctor. Talk about inappropriate. Yes, as medical professionals, it is their role to keep you in check during your pregnancy. But snarky comments have no place in this kind of situation. That is just rude and a bit hurtful.

No advice about the weight (I have an appt today, and I have no idea how much I have gained), but it sounds like you are being as healthy as you can right now. Maybe ask for suggestions- instead of someone telling you to "be careful from here on out", they should provide you sound advice (more protein, exercise, less of this or that, etc.). I assume you are paying a medical professional for treatment during your pregnancy, sounds like they need to be more professional (and more medical, for that matter....)

Ready4theParty · December 2015

I dont know if I am not much help. My last pregnancy I gained 20 by 25 weeks and ended up gaining 28 by the time Dd arrived. However my BFF gained almost 100 with her last pregnancy. She was large to begin with. I truly believe your body gains the amount of weight it needs during pregnancy.

Ouren2014 · December 2015

I am right there with you, I did as well start out weighing more than you do, however, I quit smoking when I found out I was pregnant and I am 21 weeks and have gained roughly 22 lbs... I see two different doctors, one of them jumps me about my weight gain the other does not. I understand your anxiety about going to the doctor. Truthfully, I feel like while it IS there responsibility to inform you of the risks to excessive weight gain, it is also there role to support you. Only you know what you have been eating, and if your honest with yourself and your doctor, if she is THAT concerned she should then give you tools to help you. I feel like there is only so much you can do and your body is just going to do the rest. I also eat relatively healthy, and walk daily and have gained that much. I can not understand why this is either BUT the last thing I want to deal with is a lecture about it... We as MOM's KNOW that we are not going to be pregnant forever, so ultimately we are the ones who have to take off the weight. I say, do what you have been doing.. ENJOY and worry about the rest in April..

If you can't get past it... Get a new doctor.. there is nothing wrong with switching.

[Deleted User] · December 2015

That sucks, I'm sorry they are being so crazy about it. I gained 65 with DD1. Ouch. It was a lot and I knew I went "balls to the walls" with not caring about what i ate etc.
This time I started out 20lbs less then where i started preDD1 and I told myself I wouldn't let it get out of hand. It was so hard at first with the borderline nausea/hunger and gained 20 quick. Even though right after tri 1 I was able to curb my chocolate cravings, and have gone back to eating pretty well (splurges every now and then) but still gaining. I work out 4 - 5 days a week (2 with a trainer) and sweat through it. I think I'm starting to believe what people say in that your body does what it has to do. I don't know how to convey that to a Dr though.
I feel for ya - wish I had more to offer than that!

cmjenkies · December 2015

I gained 65 with #1. My doctor never commented on my gain because it was steady throughout and my vitals were WNL. This time at 22w I've gained 1-2 so far. Still no comments about my weight. Like PP said, I think your body gains what it needs. Feed yourself and don't be miserable.

momofmanyinthemitten · December 2015

I've gained about 20 at 20 wks this time around. Pre pregnancy, I was 120lbs (5'7"). I gained 45, 55, and 50 with my first 3 babies. It came off within a few months after birth. I wouldn't be too worried. Don't starve yourself. Listen to your body.

olivemomma · December 2015

I think a ton of moms gain more than the recommended 25-35. I gained around 40 with DD1 and no one said anything to me about it in a negative way. Now if you were eating horribly or gained 15 lbs in one month I would see reason for concern but given your diet and assuming you have gained at a reasonable pace throughout your pregnancy it seems fine to me. Also, many women gain weight at different times in their pregnancy, you may just be putting it on early and may taper off towards the end. I, on the other hand, gained 20 of my 40 the
last 8 weeks - it was insane! I'm only up 11 with this one so just gearing up for my body to swell like a balloon again in about 8 weeks!

loveymay · December 2015

Thanks ladies, it sure helps hearing what others have gone through. I'm not worried about my weight gain, its been a steady gain and actually seems to have started to slow some recently. Though I'm sure I'll gain a little more during Christmas, I have no plans to skip all the holiday treats! No regerts there, lol. There are 5 doctors at the OB practice I go to, I love my doctor but haven't seen her since my confirmation appt at 9 weeks. Most of the time I see the nurse practitioner, although they like to rotate the patients with all the doctors so we are familiar with them in case our doctor is not available when it comes time to deliver. I've only seen one other doctor so farand she ddidn't say anything about my weight. I think I will say something to that nurse next time if she brings it up again in a snarky way or at least explain to her that I'm eating healthy and normal portions, and ask her for specific advice as some of you suggested. My blood pressure and everything else is just fine, so there's that. I've never had a problem maintaining my weight before, and while I don't like gaining weight, I am not worried about loosing it once baby is born. Her comments just made me feel like I'm a huge fat whale and I shouldn't feel like that when I'm pregnant.

spicedice · December 2015

Everyone gains weight differently. As lon as you and baby are both healthy, I say screw them! I've known people to gain 50 lbs while pregnant and they lost in all by the time baby was three months old!

DougalMcG · December 2015

I just wanted to add that I am almost in the exact same boat (5'6'' /started at 130lbs/ now at 150 lbs at 23 weeks). I just had an OB appointment and they didn't say anything about my weight, so it just goes to show you how some doctors are more anal about the weight gain than others. I wouldn't worry about it honestly.

rel1988 · December 2015

Yes I'm almost the exact same!! 133 pre-pregnancy, 5'5" and I have gained 20 lbs at 23 weeks. Dr has said nothing about my weight. I haven't noticed anything bigger except my belly and boobs thankfully!

tripledaggerWed95976 · December 2015

The nurse should NOT have said that- not matter how much weight u have gained, if that was me I would've said something to the doctor about that.

jonesl12 · December 2015

I've never addressed weight with a patient unless they ask. Doc will say something to them if it's getting out of hand.

You only need about 200 more calories when you are pregnant. It's not an excuse to eat like crap or pig out ALL the time. The amount you should gain greatly depends on your pre pregnancy weight. I'm not allowed to work out anymore so that's really made me change how I eat

It varies so much! I've seen girls gain 10 pounds and I've seen some gain almost 100 ( no excuse for that) but everybody is different.

I'm slightly above the curve for my pre-height and weight as I went from working out 4 days s week to zero. I started at 5'9" 134# and at 23 weeks I'm already 149#.

tmoe0627 · December 2015

My obese Doctor told me to lay off the holiday treats. Excuse me? I'm going to enjoy the holidays and have a cookie if I please. Your doctor was rude for saying that. I'm sorry. I feel as long as we are trying to eat a balanced diet it's okay for us pregnant women to indulge every so often and not worry about the numbers on a scale.

Cynthia1207 · December 2015

Ugh I hate when doctors do this. I gained 45 lbs with my first pregnancy and lost all of it. My baby needed it plain and simple. If you are eating right and are gaining weight it's probably because a) like me, your baby needs it or b) you might have more fluids that account for it. Not all pounds gained are fat. More blood in the system, amniotic fluid, water retention, etc can account for a fairly large amount of weight.

If you really an eating healthy and not pigging out, I wouldn't worry about it. Enjoy your pregnancy!

pinottoparenthood · December 2015

@dayzchic9 every time I read your posts about weight gain, we're the same person haha. I started my last pregnancy right on the border of healthy weight/overweight (160 ish lbs, 5'7"), and I gained 30 lbs... I did gain more in the beginning than I was supposed to, but it slowed down a lot at the end. I was pretty happy with 30 lbs, as in the beginning it looked like I was on track to gain more, and I lost it easily.

I started this pregnancy a lot smaller, at 135 lbs, but am already up to 160-165 range depending on the day, so up 25-30 lbs. I am sort of freaked out about how much I may end up gaining, but it also is what it is. I did overindulge in the beginning, AND I ate tons of carbs because I felt sick all of the time, so I didn't start well. However, I've been eating healthier for awhile now (definitely still with some treats but not crazy), and working out 5ish days a week.

I try not to worry about it, and @loveymay I would tell you to *try* not to worry, either! You obviously know your body, and if you are truly eating reasonable amounts and fairly healthy, there is nothing to worry about. Maybe sit down with your doctor at the next appointment and voice your concerns, tell him or her that you are eating healthy and in moderation, and that you are doing the best you can to stay at a healthy weight. Hopefully the doc will get off your back. As PPs have said, some doctors will be super concerned over it and some don't care at all... I had the same experience seeing different doctors at my practice with both pregnancies.

I agree with your mindset. If you are eating when you're hungry, stopping before you're too full, making good choices, etc... 5 extra pounds is not a big deal. I lost 5 lbs in a few days with my son. Like I seriously lost 15 lbs before I came home from the hospital and then lost 3-5 lbs a week after that for awhile until it slowed down as I got close to my PP weight. You will have plenty of time to get back into shape. I say if you feel good, good for you! I wish I hadn't stressed so much about weight with my first pregnancy because it just ended up being no big deal in the end.

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