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Single Parents
jstoos01
member
single mom.
jstoos01
member
Hi everyone, didn't really know if it was OK to do this or not. I'm just really looking for someone to talk to. I'm 22 and 30 weeks pregnant with my first child. The father pretty much bailed when I found out I was expecting. He is always drama whenever we do talk. He always threatens to take the baby away from me. He doesn't even act like he cares about the baby at all. I'm am overly excited to welcome my little boy in feburary. I just feel like I always have to be looking over my shoulder making sure he isn't going to take him or anything. I stress about this constantly. If anyone has any advice or just some kind words of encouragement it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.
Re: single mom.
@jstoos01 - When you say he is drama when you guys talk, what exactly is he saying? I assume it isn't anything abusive since you did not say it was. From this point on, you should tell him you only wish to communicate via text/email. This way, if he says something to you that is threatening or abusive, you have it in writing and it isn't a "he said she said" situation (those are much harder to deal with if you end up in court). Also, don't delete any texts, his or your responses. Start documenting his behavior, and start consulting lawyers if you believe he will kidnap your child. A lot of lawyers will have a free consultation session to see what your options are, but you'll have to really look for someone who could take you on cheaply or pro bono. If you are in a certain income bracket, I think you can get a state aided attorney. I would recommend doing that. Also, if his behavior warrants this, you can contact the police in regards to a restraining order. You can go to the police department and tell them your situation and ask if they can do a restraining order with the behavior that he's already exhibited, but they'll probably want documented proof. If he wants to be involved, that's ok. But it is very much so NOT ok for him to be threatening to take the baby away from you. Especially if you plan on breastfeeding, the baby will need to be close to you as much as possible.
@Bridgetalyse20 - Are you still living with him? If so, GTFO. It'll be a load lifted off your shoulders. If you have family or friends nearby, see if you could move in temporarily until you find a new place to go. If you don't, look for a shelter. Again, he can't take your baby away without a court order. I would also look into lawyers in your case. And, like I said to OP, tell him to keep all contact via text/email. If he doesn't like that, he can leave you a voicemail and that will also be documented proof.
And the thing about the hospital is amusing. It doesn't matter whether or not he wants to be at the hospital. The staff isn't there to make sure he's being taken care of or if his feelings are being taken into account for anything. When the time comes for the baby to be born, anything that happens is your call. You don't want him in the delivery room? BOOM, nurses kick him out. You don't want him at the hospital? BOOM, security keeps him out of the building. The doctor and the nurses are there for you. The birthing experience needs to be as stress free as possible. Stress can complicate things, they know that, so they have to keep you comfortable, they have to keep you as unstressed as humanly possible while you push out the watermelon. So the fact he went out of his way to make the birth about him makes me laugh.
Again, I cannot stress enough that all communication from this point on must be written only. Document everything, the lack of interest, the threats, everything. Please look into lawyers in your area, even if only for a free consult on what your options are. You might be advised to get that restraining order.