Last baby and overly emotional about it

Hbraun200 · December 2015

I would love to have 3 babies but DH wants this to be our last. I had 2 miscarriages and nearly 4 years of trying and he doesn't want to go through all that again, so he'd like to be done. I'm just so sad I really want to have another and love every bit of being pregnant (besides MS but would take it all 9 months to have a happy healthy baby) anywho... I'm super emotional at the thought that it's my last time to enjoy being pregnant and that they grow so fast. Anyone else going through this??

satcher08 · December 2015

I'm with you on this one. I would really like to have 3 but DH says absolutely not and insists that he is going to get a vasectomy after this one is born. Obviously I'm not going to push him into something that he doesn't want to do but I'm still holding out hope that he may eventually change his mind.

matthewsdm · December 2015

My DH was 100% set on only having two as well, and here we are pregnant with number three. Don't give up ladies

bio-oesch · December 2015

I am thinking this will be our last. We have always said 4, and this will be #4, but I have been dreading my last pregnancy forever worried I would be extra emotional. IDK if it's really hit me yet. When I was close to 2nd tri I told DH I was sad because this was the last time I would be in first tri, LOL.

Everyone makes fun of me for being overly emotional anyway (non pregnant) So I haven't really noticed a difference.

I think I must be ready to be done since I'm not as upset as I thought I would be? But maybe that will change with time?

I love being pregnant, but I've been pregnant on/off for 7yrs now and pregnant every other xmas since 2009. So think i'm just ready to move on?

But I love babies and I will be sad I won't have anymore babies after this one

I don't think it has sunk in for me really.

Sorry I guess i'm just rambling, I do feel lucky and blessed to get to do this 4 times and to have such awesome kids.

I hope things get better for you. Do you think your hubs is absolute on no more kiddos? Maybe he will change his mind after this baby is a year or so? Would you consider adopting to avoid his fear of the trying part?

mdargie · December 2015

I feel like this might be our last too. But I don't feel overly emotional, so I'm kind of in denial. I'm thinking that if I get to stay home, DH will be ok with more, this will only be #2. Who knows? My DH claims he wants a vasectomy too but we would make that decision together if he actually gets serious about it.

Rosehip15 · December 2015

We would actually like to go for one more, but I'm so miserable right now, that the thought of doing this again is totally overwhelming. I love, love, love babies, but always hated pregnancy and birth hasn't been super fun either. Given my age, we would have to try again pretty quickly, so we'll see.

RMLandy · December 2015

I'm the opposite. I'm super excited to be done with the child bearing phase of my life. I love babies and raising kids. Pregnancy, not so much. I don't know how you feel but I'm sure it's hard! I'm sorry you're sad!

likeabel · December 2015

I'm sure I'll be very emotional when I'm in your shoes! I frequently find myself wondering "what if this is my last pregnancy and I don't get the chance to cherish my 'last - firsts' " or "what will I be feeling next time when it for sure is my last pregnancy?" Hang in there mama and maybe tell DH to table the discussion until after the baby has been here a few months. You never know what you'll be thinking in another year!

GinnyJ2012 · December 2015

I'll be sad if this is my last baby. I love little babies, and would love to have 4 or 5, but I don't like being pregnant. I think I'll be very emotional during third tri and after birth. Those have been my crazy phases before.

HighFive16 · December 2015

This is my second and last pregnancy. Initially I was kinda sad that this would be my last "firsts". But I have been so terribly sick that I have now realized that I'm not a good mom to the kids I have when I'm pregnant so am definitely done and looking forward to the child rearing phase of my life. As PPs have said, maybe your H will change his mind when the time comes.

PressLove · December 2015

Hbraun200 - Will this be your first time giving birth? After years of infertility, I didn't think I could do it again. Plus, I never thought pregnancy was a beautiful thing. However, DD gave me a new perspective. I would have been happy with one child, but we decided that she needed a sibling. Maybe your hubs (I love that term!) will want a sibling for this baby. Only time will tell.

stephweinstein · December 2015

This is our second baby. Is it weird that we haven't discussed if this is our last baby? I suppose we'll know what's best for us down the line. I'd be open to three if there was a big gap between 2 and 3 to allow for some financial catch up.

adiaz132003 · December 2015

DH and I say we'd stop at two and we want them close together so I feel like I'll be hormonal and pregnant one time but it will last two years lol. Seeing as you never know what the future will hold I'm treating this like its my first and last so I can really enjoy it and not miss anything.

likeabel · December 2015

stephweinstein said:
This is our second baby. Is it weird that we haven't discussed if this is our last baby? I suppose we'll know what's best for us down the line. I'd be open to three if there was a big gap between 2 and 3 to allow for some financial catch up.

No, I don't think it's weird that you haven't discussed it.

Hbraun200 · December 2015

no we have a son who will be 5 shortly after baby arrives

MAbride0808 · December 2015

This is our last as well. I have always wanted 3 and had DH almost convinced before we had our DD. With need for IVF to get pregnant (and multiple cycles at that), I just cannot emotionally take it. This child was almost not had because my last cycle (which worked) was going to be our last.

CourtJack · December 2015

I understand feeling that way. And like a pp said - never say never. But, if it truly is your last pregnancy, embrace all the emotions and let yourself feel everything you're feeling. There are so many incredibly exciting moments that you'll get to experience with your two children that soon enough the sadness of this being your last will fade as you look forward to all the milestones your family will get to enjoy

My personal experience, this is our third and I am delirious with excitement that it will be our last. I do not enjoy pregnancy (understatement). H had actually gone for his vasectomy consult earlier this year and thanks in part to his insane procrastination, we were able to make the decision to try *just one more time*. And ta da!

After this one arrives, that vasectomy is getting done - if I have to drag him by those very body parts to get him there.

AmberLiz99 · December 2015

This is our third and last. It's a little sad at times, but mostly I'm happy and at peace with it. As I see my oldest getting into school and other things I realize that I don't want to be dealing with baby stuff forever, I'm excited for the next phase of parenthood.

Jgar2u2 · December 2015

This is our 3rd and last. DH was OK with 2 but he agreed to 3 after few months. I know we won't have anymore after this though. He wants a vasectomy. I'm trying to really enjoy this pregnancy as much as I can. I'm excited to start focusing on things other than having babies after this pregnancy. It was all I could think about the past 5 years.

june2016baby · December 2015

I'm glad this (surprise) baby is our last! I'm mid-thirties, and there will be an almost 5 year age gap between this baby and our current youngest.

Huskerfanz · December 2015

This is my second pregnancy and hopefully my last. I have a hard time getting pregnant (need IF treatments) and I hate pregnancy. We might foster or adopt later.

ahernandez16 · December 2015

DH and I have always talked about only having one kid and possibly adopting an "older" child (3-5ish) down the road if finances allow for it. I know that things can change as I've had a relatively easy and uneventful pregnancy so far and might want to do it again, but I'm treating this pregnancy like it might be my last which is pretty odd because it's also my first.

totsabounding · December 2015

It's a hard decision, for sure, and one fraught with emotion. I think this will be our last, and I think that mostly because I'm older and I just don't think I can handle the worry and stress of trying to conceive, making it through those early days of pregnancy, the risks associated with advanced maternal age...and then all the typical worries that continue from there even if all of those things do turn out okay. But then I think about my DD and how much we love her and how much fuller our lives are because of her, and I start to second-guess myself. So...all that to say, I totally understand the conflict and the emotion surrounding it.

chesterdoodle · December 2015

Going through this too. Just yesterday we found out that at least one of the twins is a boy. We already have a girl, so my husband said to me "well I guess we're done. This is our last pregnancy." I couldn't even help the tears and sobbing when he said that. Just didn't feel right. I never thought I'd want more than 3 kids but when he says last pregnancy, it broke my heart. Of course I'm pregnant, tired and dealing with 2 straight months of all day morning sickness. Plus I'll see how I really feel about another baby after taking care of twins for a few years. Good luck with your decision and don't totally take it off the table yet. You just never know

sorarose · December 2015

DH wants 2, but I want 3 (although his resolve is weak). I'm going on the assumption that I'm not done yet, but know I will be devastated when I am, even though pregnancy and I don't agree.

However, I think that couples need to ultimately be on the same page regarding this or it could cause resentment and tension down the road. OP, I understand where both you and DH are coming from, but maybe you could shelf the discussion for awhile until after your baby is born? You both might feel differently after experiencing parenthood for a second time.

Edit: Words are hard.

SMLmom · December 2015

I understand @huskerfamily. I feel the same way. Getting pregnant has been a rocky road both times, and being pregnant is not really a fun ride for me either. I adore kids and am beyond thrilled to be pregnant with my second, but we'd like to adopt for number 3 (4?) later on too.

Jason&Erin82507 · December 2015

I'm pretty sure this will be our last. We both agreed that 3 was a fitting number for us (though at times I think he may want more). I love babies, but I also love sleep ;-)

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