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Weird Behavior During Visitation

EmeraldCity84EmeraldCity84 member
in Single Parents
Hi all! I have not posted in here in a LONG time. I am having an issue with my 22 month old daughter and I have asked friends and family and just can't really get any good advice, so I remembered this board... My BD visits our daughter regularly; every Tuesday he comes to my house from 5:30 to 7 and every Sunday he takes her out for about six hours for their time. They don't do overnights. In the last month, whenever he comes over just to visit or to pick her up, she first completely ignores him (no eye contact, no speaking, clings to me), then she will warm up enough that she can be put down but still wants to play alone or with me, does not engage with him at all. He, in turn, gets irritated and starts being short with me and her and then everyone is uncomfortable. When he actually takes her with him for Sundays, she screams and kicks until she is in the carseat, then she seems to calm down and "accept" that she is going to hang out with Dad. She is 100% verbal, also. I am just wondering if anyone else experiences this???? Is it something I need to worry about? I don't think he's hurting her, but I think it's really weird how she doesn't want to be around him suddenly. He has a tendency to be rude and irritable so maybe she just senses that and doesn't find him fun to be around, so she protests?? I don't know what to do. I try to ask him if she continues to act like this after they are alone together and he claims no, she is sweet as can be and plays with him the entire time they are together. I guess just looking for input. 

Thanks! 
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Re: Weird Behavior During Visitation

  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    Hmm... That's a toughy.  My DD is almost 2.5yrs and doesn't see BD at all (I haven't heard from him since her first birthday, she last saw him almost 6mo prior to that).  I do have a BF that has been around since she was born, he's the only daddy she's ever known, and there has been a time or two where she was upset that he was holding her and not me.  It's infrequent, though. Lately, she's been trying to push him away when we all sit on the couch and she cuddles up to me before falling asleep but we don't know why.  DD can talk but doesn't always want to talk. BF and I have never fought in front of her (come to think of it, I can't think of a time we actually fought), and I know he's not abusing her when I'm not around.

    In your case, it could be as simple as she's almost 2 and some of that behavior is just a 2yo's behavior.  Or it could be because your BD gets short and irritated with her and it scares her.  Is it possible that he's like that when he's alone with her?  People who are easily irritated are not fun to be around, and often, people find themselves walking on eggshells to prevent listening to the easily irritated just because no one wants to tell them to shut up.

    Also, have you checked the Blended Families board?  They might have better advice/tips. Good luck, mama!
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