telling in laws

JuneBaby1984 · December 2015

Hello,

I am wondering if anyone just let their significant others tell their parents without them? I have an intense amount of anxiety about them finding out..even though I know they will be happy. I am weird about attention and people getting really excited about things that are about me. We are planning on inviting them to dinner to celebrate on Friday as a sort of compromise, I just really don't want to be there for the initial freak out. We broke up the telling duties, and I told my parents and he is telling is, which I think is fair. Do others think that is reasonable, or that I'm crazy? haha.

Meglit89 · December 2015

I think it's reasonable. There's no hard and fast rule for how you have to tell parents/inlaws.

catherinekate · December 2015

Your post is exactly how I feel about my in-laws. We'll probably tell them together due to logistics but I would feel so much better if I wasn't there. I am so weird about attention too. I almost passed out before my wedding--standing in front of all those people (and we had a small wedding!) was terrifying. I'm also waiting to disclose my pregnancy to friends, etc. for the same reason. Attention makes me so uncomfortable.

JuneBaby1984 · December 2015

Me too! We aren't even having a wedding for those reasons! I'm glad other people feel the same, I'm going to show my mom this thread because she thinks i'm nuts.

cdnvb4 · December 2015

I think it's perfectly reasonable. Indeed, I told my parents AND my in-laws by myself because my husband hates attention. Do what makes you comfortable.

ahernandez16 · December 2015

I don't think it's weird at all. Honestly the only reason I was there when we told my MIL was because she was in town for the weekend and we were having breakfast with her and I had to get up twice to have a gagging fit in the bathroom. I could've done without the happy tears and hugs and all of the conversation there forth being about me. I'm not a fan of being to center of attention either, haha even if it's good attention.

bio-oesch · December 2015

DH is going to tell his parents over the phone because they live across the country and I won't be on speaker phone or anything with him?

His parents are very lack luster anyway, they don't get "excited" in the typical way over things so i'm sure they will just say "Oh, that's nice." LOL

Emztron500 · December 2015

Hehe that's totally fine! With our first DH just called him mom to give her the news and I texted my parents. It doesn't have to be a big production

Rosehip15 · December 2015

My DH told his parents himself, totally fine. Though that wasn't the particular issue in that case, I'm also a bit shy about being the center of a fuss, and have gotten weird stage fright about telling other friends, etc., even though it's now "public." I sort of just keep hoping the grapevine does the job for me...
I try to be a good sport, as I realize people truly are happy for us, and wish us well and I try to enjoy the enthusiasm. I find that once I get past the first few moments, I can relax and get excited with them:)

HBamama2B · December 2015

Seems totes fine to me, whatever you are comfortable with. DH called his parents. I was with him but didn't contribute. I feel similarly awkward being the center of attention. Nothing wrong with being an introvert!

PressLove · December 2015

I believe it's a non-issue if your SO is telling his parents. However, if you're close by, expect that you may gets lots of hugs and excitement directed your way.

izzyp25 · December 2015

My husband had a trip planned to visit his parents without me (around when I first found out I was pregnant) and told them then. It was fine. They called and offered their congratulations and that was that! I text his mom updates when we have appointments but as others have said it doesn't need to be a big to-do!

Do whatever you feel the most comfortable with!

CourtJack · December 2015

Whatever works for you. I sorta wish DH could've told MY parents without me being there, ha! I loved telling my in-laws. To each their own - so long as you don't think there will be any backlash from your in laws that you might have to deal with?

lolonvive · December 2015

I totally hear you here! My inlaws are loving and great but they make me really anxious and I don't like people fawning over me or treating me differently, and i was anxious about telling them -- H is their oldest and this will be the first grandchild on both sides.

Luckily, they live in SC (we live in NY) so when H was there for work he told them and Facetimed me after.

I'm also still getting comfortable with being able to tell people at all! I plan on telling my boss today (ahhhhh!!!!) and I feel soooo awkward. I've only told a handful of people so it still feels weird to say the words, and I feel like it changes the person's perception of me.

Anyway.

JuneBaby1984 · December 2015

Thanks guys! I feel like less of a wierdo now. Yes, telling the boss will also be difficult...they are currently deciding whether to make a job up just for me (government funding for my current position got pulled, so I will be layed of in March)...and alot of people are trying hard to work it out so I can stay..so when I have to say "oh by the way I'm pregnant and can only work at this job for 3 months" that will also be the worst. It is super weird telling people, the onyl one that was fine was my sisters cause they are sort of like me...one texted me and said " Your knocked up arent you" because I wasn't drinking and I just texted the other one because she lives far away. I think its older generations who need everything to be face to face or they think its rude. Anyways thanks everyone...boyfriend is going to tell them tonight..while I hide at home, haha.

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