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October 2015 Moms
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If my mother in law asks me one more time...

danixbanani24danixbanani24 member
in October 2015 Moms
Why the baby can't have water, I may flip a damn table.

Who is driving you nuts in your family or your spouses family with standards of care from 30 or more years ago?
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Re: If my mother in law asks me one more time...

  • midge519midge519 member
    My mom kind of gets and kind of does not get the whole sleeping on their back thing. She will follow what I say if she had the baby while he was sleeping but she continues to say "But I don't get why they used to say belly sleep because of spit up but now they want them to back sleep." 
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  • mihaelams1mihaelams1 member
    Sounds like my mom. Only by email though, she's on another continent.
    She scared me the whole pregnancy that she didn't have enough milk and that I might be the same, especially that my breasts weren't leaking. She seemed not to have heard about colostrum and was asking about the milk coming in right after birth. She said my pediatrician told her to give me water for thirst and formula for food. Given that I had to get my lip tie corrected at 7 for braces, I guess this was the cause of me not nursing well and not some mythical milk issues. 
    Also, why isn't baby sleeping under a blanket, isn't he cold?
    Thankfully she admits that the practice of swaddling the legs tightly to straighten them is outdated and my son doesn't have to suffer from it.
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  • rms924rms924 member
    As a pp mentioned, my mom is worried that ds will be bow legged bc I am not swaddling his legs tightly enough. Especially since my dad had to wear a brace to correct his bow legs? I'm not sure since he isn't around to eloborate.

    My mil thinks I should give ds cereal...and that he should be sleeping through the night.

    And for the coup de grace: my mom think ds is allergic to my milk and should be on formula because my "milk isn't good enough for him". My son has gas but my understanding is that it's fairly common at this pt. sigh.

    Ps great thread!
    Me: 34 DH:38
    DS: 18 months   <3
    Dx DOR AMH .2
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  • chein1chein1 member
    My mother-in-law hasn't been around much so far with DD2 (thank God) but with DD1 she came over the night we got home from the hospital. DD1's private area was very red due to hormones and being you know, a newb to the outside world. She insisted we put desitin on our 3 day old. You're off your rocker lady, nothing is going near my baby's privates.
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  • cdepperschmidtcdepperschmidt member
    edited December 2015
    Your Moms sound like my mom. She is obsessed with when I can start giving cereal or baby food to my child. My dad also keeps asking if I'm sure I have enough milk...well Dad he has gained 2 and 1/2 pounds in five weeks so...yes I would say he is well fed.
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  • lindsayp916lindsayp916 member
    My mom also wants to give LO water- get this, to get the icky taste of my milk out! Pretty sure she doesn't have a refined palate and it tastes just fine. I had to send her an article about water affecting babies sodium levels and causing seizures for her to understand I wasn't making it up that she wasn't allowed to give LO a water bottle.
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  • ColoradoHikerColoradoHiker member
    My mom has been driving me crazy over this stuff, she actually gets mad at me and offended when I tell her things that are no longer okay. Such as bumper pads, sleeping on tummy, and (my personal favorite, bc it was apparently a thing in the early eighties) a water bed crib mattress.
    DS1: Born 11.18.15
    DS2: EDD- 09.08.17

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  • LouislLouisl member
    @midge519 mine too with the back sleeping!! Can we please stop going round and round about it?! It's what the broad consensus is now so either google it or stop asking me!
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  • KristyhanaKristyhana member
    I had always heard water was a no-no for babies until a year or something but at our 3 month apt the ped said to give our son water for constipation. I'm like what??
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  • CocoR04CocoR04 member
    My mom instilled a deep paranoia in me because my son had weight gain problems his first year while he was EBF. With his doctor's supervision, we worked things out, but I always heard my moms voice in my head and thought something was wrong with my milk. It's taken having DD and seeing her rock the weight gain via my milk to silence those fears. She's 12 lbs already! It's funny - my mom hasn't questioned breastfeeding this time yet but I'm waiting for her to say something!!
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  • trishee13trishee13 member
    @Kristyhana at my baby's 1 month check up my pediatrician said "And she can start drinking water now too" I was surprised so early (I'd never heard a year or really any of this information but still a month seemed early) but she's been drinking an ounce or two here or there since then.
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  • VioletandRoseVioletandRose member
    My MIL keeps telling us that we need to feed the baby more formula before bed to get her to sleep through the night. And my fiance buys it. "She raised 4 kids!" LO  takes 4 oz at a time now, any time I try to feed her more than that she vomits it all up. Her stomach literally cannot hold it all at once, how do they not understand this?

    And my mom has already mentioned rice cereal. Ughhhh.
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  • kelsojohnsokelsojohnso member
    My MIL criticized our bedtime routine today (it's been working great for us for weeks/since birth!) (6 hour slee stretches and fast put downs) BUT hubby insisted we do it/try it his moms way tonight... Needless to say I've been up allllllll night with a p!ssed off baby... And here he lays, snoring like a lumber jack... Yeah thanks a lot MIL.....
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  • whitemn04whitemn04 member
    My MIL thinks the second we get into her sight that my baby wants her, especially when he's crying. Then argues with me about she wants to feed him a bottle when I have two totally capable boobs that are about to burst. Then says maybe he's not getting enough so why don't you just pump and feed him a bottle so you can make sure. Umm, no. I will nurse my child. Besides, at 6 weeks we had to take him to the doc and he almost gained 3 pounds. I think he's eating fine. Every damn time she gets around us she practically rips him from my arms then pouts when I say I got it.. Grrrr she even called DH upset thinking I posted a baby comparison picture on FB after she said DS looks like DH and thought I was mad about it. No, not mad about her thinking that. Mad about how she thinks her care is better than mine. Get a flippin' clue!
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  • Thunda88Thunda88 member
    Ugh my MIL is starting to drive me crazy too! Anytime we say LO likes or dislikes something she will argue the opposite. And don't eveneed get me started on the cereal. Her and my FIL have been trying to get us to put cereal in his bottle since Day 1 and anytime I say no it's always well that's what grandmother used to do. Oh and now thanks to them and their "suggestions" LO won't take a bottle at room temp because they convinced DH that it would give him a belly ache. At Thanksgiving they even had enough gumption to put strawberry gelatin on LOs lips so that he could taste it. I was so pissed! I was like if he's 5 weeks old! I'm really just over it at this point!
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  • mollypuss1mollypuss1 member
    trishee13 said:

    @Kristyhana at my baby's 1 month check up my pediatrician said "And she can start drinking water now too" I was surprised so early (I'd never heard a year or really any of this information but still a month seemed early) but she's been drinking an ounce or two here or there since then.

    My midwife said an ounce of water is fine if baby has constipation as it helps them poop otherwise it's not needed, also that a baby would need to drink a great deal more than that to have any detrimental affects.
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  • solitude1984solitude1984 member
    I thought my MIL was the only one who insisted that my
    danixbanani24 said:

    Why the baby can't have water, I may flip a damn table.

    Who is driving you nuts in your family or your spouses family with standards of care from 30 or more years ago?

    I thought my MIL was the only one! She has insisted for weeks now that my LO is thirsty and we should give him water. Absolutely not! She also lets his head flop around when she holds him, no matter how many times I mention it. How hard is it to support his head?!!!!!
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  • kaweegarkaweegar member
    My husband and I made the decision to keep pictures of our son off social media. . . We haven't even announced the birth. . . And we made sure everyone was aware of our wishes. So at Thanksgiving when my MIL wanted to take a family picture I said ok. It didn't even take her an hour after they left our house to post the picture on Facebook. When my husband said something to her she didn't even apologize and didn't take the picture down. She did at least say she wouldn't post anymore. But really?!?! How hard is it to respect our wishes?
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  • Vstille2712Vstille2712 member
    My MIL asked when my belly was going to go down.... :-(
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  • Vstille2712Vstille2712 member
    @whitemn04 almost said that! I feel bad she was never able to have kids, but that shouldn't be an excuse for a question like that!
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  • abkenyonabkenyon member
    My mom dramatically says almost daily "I just don't know how you survived!" Be it water bottles, sleeping on tummies, cereal at 4 weeks old or covering with blankets to sleep. The best past is LO is a toaster oven and HATES to be wrapped up or to hot so she screams when my mom tries to push it on her.
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  • cdepperschmidtcdepperschmidt member
    Rice Cereal...UGH!!! My husband came home from work Friday and was like so and so told me that if we milk rice cereal with your milk DS will sleep longer...I was like yeah no.
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  • lindsayp916lindsayp916 member
    My MIL keeps telling me how soundly my hubby slept when she gave him rice cereal too. I have a good sleeper so I keep telling her it's not necessary and I wouldn't try it any way.

    She's also really hell bent on giving the milk warm- when we give a bottle, we usually let it sit in warm water for a bit to warm it up but if we don't have time and she's crying hysterically, LO will take it cold out of the fridge- my MIL acted like I was purposefully torturing her!! LO doesn't act like there's a difference and I'm pretty sure she would react if she didn't like it (plus I've only given her cold milk like 3 times). My MIL keeps telling me over and over how important it is to warm up the milk.
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  • meganraschkemeganraschke member
    @lindsayp916 FWIW I never warm up my bottles for LO and even asked day care not to and he is just fine....warmed breastmilk cannot be refrigerated but cold can and wasting BM makes me hurt lol
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  • danixbanani24danixbanani24 member
    lol it cracks me up...everyone has mentioned the rice cereal in the bottle to me as well.  My son sleeps 7 hours a night - I don't think he needs it!  The older generations just don't get that standards of care have CHANGED in the past 20-30 years.  SHEESH
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  • BryDientaBryDienta member
    All of this makes me so thankful that my MIL doesn't speak english and spends 75%+ of the year back home in West Africa.  
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