March 2016 Moms

*All Things Birth/Labor*

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Re: *All Things Birth/Labor*

  • @katelin318 I've never been shaved before a vaginal delivery.
    @lanatalia I just tell them no when they ask. They can't give it without consent.
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    March '16 December Siggy Challenge - Favorite Christmas Movies/Quotes
  • @kynbar5 @skruhmin Thanks. One fear off the list!
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    1. Any must bring items in your hospital bag that we first-timers might not think of?
    2. Did your DH go home at all after you gave birth? Just wondering if it's unreasonable to expect there to be a chance for DH to go home a time or two to see the dogs, bring a clothing item from the LO, etc. My mom should be there, so not 100% necessary though.
    3. Do you call your doctor or anyone for a labor heads up or do you just show up to the hospital and whoever is there is the doctor  you deal with? (probably a question I'll ask my doctor today)
    4. If I am at work when I go into labor or my water breaks, what is the likelihood I'll be able to drive myself home or to the hospital? (Home and hospital are about a 40 minute drive from work with no traffic, hospital is about a 10 minute drive from home)

    I'm sure I'll have more - TIA!

    1. (I was so unprepared last time). I am also a scheduled c section and will be in the hospital for 4 days post birth (so packing for the long haul). This time definitely a nursing bra for day and one for night, granny panties (I can't stress this enough for a c section recovery), nursing pads, lanolin (or any good nipple cream), portable DVD player (I was in hospital for 7 days with Ds and that thing was a life saver during the long time gaps to fill), boppy pillow, extra hair ties (mine got lost on the first day and I spent 2 days looking like chewbaca).

    2. Dh stayed the first night then would run home or out for food etc. he went back to work after the 2nd day, but has a new boss now and will be taking a lot more time. Now that we have Ds I think I will be on my own a good bit more this time.

    3. I'd call your office if you think you are in labor and they will advise you what to do.

    4. Not sure about the driving. C section you wouldn't be able to drive home, but honestly I wouldn't have wanted to drive by myself anyways.

    We don't have any close family near by (4+ hour drive) but i have already asked a friend if in an emergency she could take Ds until the family got here. Find someone you trust and see if they would be willing to help out if they are needed.
  • I also recommend pre-registering at your hospital. It makes things go a little smoother.
    I usually try to keep my pubic area more groomed/close-cut towards the end so that things stay cleaner during the bloody postpartum period.
    We skip the HepB Vax – it's never been an issue.
    Our hospital also has donor milk on hand for supplementing babies in the event that mama and baby aren't able to nurse.
    As far as the other kids, we are just going to play it by ear. Last time, my mom came over at 39w to watch them while we were in the hospital, but I didn't go into labor until 41w, and she was ready to hit the road before he even got here LOL. I think this time we are just going to have a list of people "on call" and have my mom come over the next morning. (She only lives a couple hours away, but she won't drive at night.) My inlaws live practically on the way to the hospital, but I don't really feel comfortable with them watching the kids for more than just a couple hours or over night.

    March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality

    Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09) 
    AP, BF, BW, CD, CLW, CS, ERF, Catholic mama 
    to Evan (7/'10), Clare (8/'11), Dean (3/'14), ^F(12/'15)^, Rose (3/'16)
    *no longer a Timelord ~ WibblyWobbly BabyWaby is here!*
    <3 but i still feel bigger on the inside <3
     Autism mama! 
  • what helped you experienced ladies mentally get through the pain?? i reeeallly wanna stay clear of an epidural, but I'll definitely get one if it gets to be too much.
    also, compared to delivering the baby, how much does delivering the placenta hurt?
  • Honestly it was the knowledge that I couldn't get one that pushed me through.  I'm allergic to most narcotic pain meds and the anesthesiologist during a hospital tour said they wouldn't be able to give me one.  I HAD to push through.  If you have the ability to labor in a tub, that absolutely will help you.  With DS2 when I first got to the hospital I talked to the anesthesiologist on call and told him my issues with meds and he found an epidural cocktail that would work with my issues and I always had that knowledge in the back of my head during labor.  I almost feel like I "gave up" and begged for one and I ended up getting it with DS2.  It's all mind over matter.  But DS2 was 2 lbs/2 inches bigger than DS1.  It was like I needed that pain relief to push through.  Work on figuring out different pain relief methods - mind over matter, if hypno birth works for you, like I said the tub, pressure on your back, etc. 

    Honestly I don't even remember delivering either placenta - you are in baby euphoria as soon as you deliver :)
    DS1 - 9/21/11
    DS2 - 7/4/14
    DS3 - 2/21/16
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Our family of 5 is complete!!  Love our boys!

  • I feel like I've blocked out a lot of #1 and these are making me nervous all over again for #2 lol.

    A couple of random things for the hospital bag - a blow dryer and comfy socks or slippers. When I'm tired I get cold and even in the summer these were helpful. 100% yes to chargers and electronic devices. If you have an older kid possibly a present for the baby to give them (I think it might ease the transition visit for DD).

    DH stayed with me the first time but this time he'll go home with DD.
  • It sucked delivering the placenta for me. There weren't any complications, it just sucked. It probably took about 10 minutes. I was just so done pushing that when I remembered about the placenta, I thought ffs, do I really have to? Lo
    *TTC since July 2010
    *BFP #1- 11/12/12, m/c 11/16/12 @ 6 weeks
    *BFP #2- 1/23/13 EDD 10/4/13  

    *Emma Rose: 10/8/13

    *BFP #3- EDD 03/9/16


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  • kitteh81kitteh81 member
    edited December 2015
    The epidural thing is definitely mind over matter.

    With my first I just told myself that it wasn't even an option. I knew I'd be disappointed if I caved, so I mentally took it off the table. It was tough, though. Near the end I was ready to give up, so i had them check mevand I was almost fully dilated with an anterior cervical lip, but they said I could try pushing. I never felt the natural urge to push with her.

    After going through 28+ hours with her, I knew that I wouldn't need any pain meds with the second, especially with the tub to labor in. I definitely felt the urge to push with my second baby, and it was so crazy to me how your body really just takes over. It was such an intense, uncontrollable force.
  • arcanejinxarcanejinx member
    edited December 2015



    A new question, I didn’t want it lost in my post
    above.  I 100% plan to nurse again.  I am a planner, so that means I also need a
    back-up plan to remain mentally sane.  If
    I have a serious medical situation going on, I assume the hospital would talk
    to my husband and give the baby formula if needed until I’m well enough to
    nurse/pump.  They supply formula I
    assume? I have a specific brand I want baby on, if formula is needed and baby
    tolerates that brand.  I’d rather not
    switch if not needed.  Should I take some
    with me?

    And to anyone feeling confused/overwhelmed, it could be worse.  My SIL is a labor/delivery nurse and she's told me some stories.  One family was baffled by the need to have a car seat to take baby out of the hospital.  When my SIL explained the requirement, the father asked where that could be purchased - he needed to leave to go get one.  This was recently, not like 20 years ago. 

     
    The hospital I will deliver at does not provide formula-they ask you bring your own (I assume they have some on hand but would rather you brought your own). Definitely check on the individual policies. My best friend was an L&D nurse there (now works in the NICU) and gave birth there so I've gotten the brief from her.
    DD: Beatrix Louise aka BeeBop. April 2 2016. H.I.E Warrior <3
  • @alligreer88 There is nothing wrong with bringing some to the hospital if that's the brand you plan to keep the baby on. It's entirely up to you.
    BabyFruit Ticker


  • We won't have family nearby so we are relying on friends to help with DD. My family is coming but after baby will be here.
  • I may be the odd ball here but I felt like I packed entirely too much! I felt absolutely terrible so I never changed into maternity/ nursing attire. I just stayed in the hospital gowns the whole time. I had so much post partum bleeding that I didnt want to get my nice expensive clothes dirty. I brought my boppy pillow and didn't end up using it because I felt like DS was too small to make it work properly so I just propped my arms up on a hospital pillow and held him in my arms resting on my belly.
  • clairemwalkerclairemwalker member
    edited December 2015
    Here goes! As a ftm, im a bit scared of breastfeeding. I'm terrified of LO wanting to nurse right after delivery, and being shy/awkward/really bad at it, especially after just going through labour. Any Other first timers feel this way? And any second (+) timers have any reassurance/advice? Btw @kynbar5 thankyou for starting this ive already found it quite helpful! Edit due to end of day brain numbness.
  • @clairemwalker I second what @oceanchild about bf being something that both you and baby need to learn and might not want a lot of others around when the two of you figure it out. I can't remember if DS tried to latch right away or not now (maybe I'll ask DH about it). However, at one point I know a nurse wanted to see how DS latch was just to check for any issues I think. If you are shy about voicing the need of privacy to nurse baby while visitors are there maybe DH or a nurse can do that for you?
  • @clairemwalker I think after delivery really is a blur I remember being sort of shell shocked so it was less not caring and more of an autopilot thing. But going forward absolutely don't hestitate to kick people out or remove yourself for privacy. I know the attitude is "its natural the baby should eat where you do" but I would personally rather sit in a bathroom stall and nurse or walk out to the car, etc. than sit at a table with a cover. That's just me and I think that you need to do what makes you comfortable to make it work in the long term. Even at home if you have people over not hesitating to go up to the nursery, etc. and not feel pressured to bring in front of people if that's not working for you.
  • @jmathi0149 yes! I think I brought two pillows and did not look at either. Those will definitly stay home this time.
  • kynbar5kynbar5 member
    edited December 2015

    Here goes! As a ftm, im a bit scared of breastfeeding. I'm terrified of LO wanting to nurse right after delivery, and being shy/awkward/really bad at it, especially after just going through labour. Any Other first timers feel this way? And any second (+) timers have any reassurance/advice? Btw @kynbar5 thankyou for starting this ive already found it quite helpful! Edit due to end of day brain numbness.

    I also felt a lot of different ways about breastfeeding for 1st time and honestly there were days of emotional struggle all the way till the end. It does get easier though! It took a lot of support from my husband but I am glad I did. Just remember that in the end, if it's something that doesn't work out then it's not the end of the world. As long as you and baby are happy and fed that's all that matters! :) Also, about the privacy part of it- even to this day I'm totally one of those I'm not going to breastfeed in front of everyone. I'd always step away (even when super inconvenient) just for my sanity and comfortability.
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  • Yeah, after everything else the nurses saw, I was so not worried about them watching me breastfeed lol. I am usually shy about my body, but during labor and in the hospital after, I didn't have two f*cks to give about who saw what. Later, I would use a cover if I felt like it at the time, but that was only really when certain people visited or I didn't wear bfing friendly tops while out and I didn't want my belly/back hanging out. I was more concerned with baby than with what strangers thought.
    *TTC since July 2010
    *BFP #1- 11/12/12, m/c 11/16/12 @ 6 weeks
    *BFP #2- 1/23/13 EDD 10/4/13  

    *Emma Rose: 10/8/13

    *BFP #3- EDD 03/9/16


    March '16 December Siggy Challenge- Favorite Christmas Movie/Quote
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  • Ha! Modesty- I had my then 15 year old brother in the delivery room with me and he saw everything until I started crowning and then he had to leave lol.  But to this day after all the trouble he has been in with the law/mental health, girls etc...he is now 26 and still hasn't fathered any children!  My mother calls it "nature's birth control"!
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  • @clairemwalker I think that the best thing to do is follow your gut about what you need, when you need it. If you want privacy, then you should have it. The best thing I ever did was get my husband on board with breastfeeding and he became a huge advocate for me. He'd ask people to leave at the hospital, carefully and politely of course, but just to get me the privacy I needed. Then, later, would seek out a private place for me to nurse wherever we went. He'd sit with me while I nursed in the car at events so that I wouldn't feel lonely. I think if you can get him on board for you, it will be a lifesaver. Honestly, I'm one of those "you lose all modesty after labor" people, but I genuinely believe that it has a lot to do with your level of modesty to begin with. I'm not shy. I had no trouble nursing in front of certain people (women, mostly, but also men who had wives who'd nursed) but there were certain people I would never nurse in front of (my Dad, Father in Law, etc.). It would just be awkward. I can't use covers, so when I nurse, it's all out there. Spend as much time as possible with the lactation consultant at the hospital and remind yourself that they see this all day long (it is quite literally their job :)) and ask your husband to run interference at the hospital and afterwards, when you come home. Best of luck...it's normal to feel weird about it at first. But, as many others said, it does get better. (I honestly ended up feeling weird about my breasts being seen sexually after a while...it took about 6 months post-nursing to get used to it again.)
    BabyFruit Ticker


  • Thanks for all your advice ladies, it really does help! Its so scary to have to think about this all for the first time. Your personal stories have been very reassuring for me : ) do you think it will take long to set up a nursing schedule? Or is it quite an individual thing? I will likely be at the birthcare centre for 3 days post delivery, and would love to have family visit (they have all been very good at waiting to be given times to come for all my sisters babies) but i would rather not have them there when the baby needs to nurse. You cant really invite people to come and then not let them in!
  • @clairemwalker I definitely felt apprehensive about BFing that this stage too. Once I read everything I could (KellyMom was a great resource, the hospitals lactation class was just okay) I figured I had the tools and then baby and I would figure the rest out. It went okay at first (I latched him shortly after he was delivered) but my latch was painful. LCs were no help until the next day a LPN came in and gave me a helpful tip - baby's latch isn't supposed to be centerded over your nip, most of baby's latch is under your nip. Funny how professionals couldn't convey that to me and my LPN (few rungs down on the pay scale I want to add) gave me really fantastic advice.

    @alligreer88 honestly I wouldn't tell anyone I was in labour. If your mom is watching your LO politely tell her not to ask anyone (my mom is terrible with this and literally cannot keep a secret) but we both don't want an audience and find it very selfish of family for intruding on your time. I'm so happy my hubby is supportive of this. My cousin's wife recently gave birth to their second and everyone (my mom, aunts, grandmother, etc) were all in the room hanging out shortly after. His wife didn't even have her epidural out yet. I'm so happy our family doesn't live close by so we don't have to deal with this issue but if we did we'd likely go the route of having a friend watch our kiddo and call the family once new baby arrives.
  • Right after delivery, I did nurse DD for awhile with DH, nurses and doctors there, but no one else.  When my family and friends visited, they had to be excused when DD wanted to nurse and everyone respected it.  I also had trouble nursing in public: I am a bit hesitant to do it public but also DD hated to be covered up so she would be screaming and fighting the cover.  It was just a messy scene so I think I've only breastfed once in public: She was half asleep that time so didn't fight as hard. I am very conservative in general though. 
  • I do a mix of schedule and nursing on demand at first. I feed the baby every 2-3 hours during the day, but will of course feed the baby between if the baby is hungry. I don't let them go 4-5 hours between eating because they are sleeping or whatever. I've found it helps my babies not get their days and nights confused and get longer stretches at night. You'll figure out what works for you though!

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  • Okay I'm posting again, I thought of something else - being STUCK in a hospital room.  It drove me nuts last time around.  As soon we we checked in for Pitocin induction, I felt stuck in the bed.  Can I request to get up and walk at that point? I know once the epi comes they want you to sit/lay but before that I'm pushing for being up.   Also, after baby was born, husband was in nursery giving baby bath while family viewed from the nursery window.  I was moved from delivery room to post partum room and sat there alone for an hour.  I feel like I could have sat in a wheel chair and joined the nursery/window, especially for later in our visit when they took baby down for testing, etc.  Can I ask for a wheel chair?  One time I did walk down, which was fine, we didn't even ask we just went, and the walk back was terrible as my insides felt like they were falling out - but in a wheel chair I totally could have.  I was totally naïve last time, but considering actually speaking up this time on more things. 


    You should totally speak up! That along with other reasons I am having a home birth. No need to pack, just have things handy. I want to bond And to nurse right after baby comes. :)
    I'm working on a playlist. I know I want candles lit and a warm pool. I typically don't have a problem letting go of control but in this super special occasion I'm ceasing the day!
  • Anyone else getting placenta encapsulated?
  • @ECHbaby, i had mine saved for #3; won't be saving this one.
    @clairemwalker i totally agree with @blueeyedrose86 about on-demand feeding. with my second baby i really watched the clock and timed feedings and everything (even in the MotN) and all it did was add stress and exhaustion and tax my brain. i don't wake a sleeping baby to nurse though either; totally normal (and beneficial!) for them to nurse throughout the night :)

    March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality

    Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09) 
    AP, BF, BW, CD, CLW, CS, ERF, Catholic mama 
    to Evan (7/'10), Clare (8/'11), Dean (3/'14), ^F(12/'15)^, Rose (3/'16)
    *no longer a Timelord ~ WibblyWobbly BabyWaby is here!*
    <3 but i still feel bigger on the inside <3
     Autism mama! 
  • ECHbaby said:

    Okay I'm posting again, I thought of something else - being STUCK in a hospital room.  It drove me nuts last time around.  As soon we we checked in for Pitocin induction, I felt stuck in the bed.  Can I request to get up and walk at that point? I know once the epi comes they want you to sit/lay but before that I'm pushing for being up.   Also, after baby was born, husband was in nursery giving baby bath while family viewed from the nursery window.  I was moved from delivery room to post partum room and sat there alone for an hour.  I feel like I could have sat in a wheel chair and joined the nursery/window, especially for later in our visit when they took baby down for testing, etc.  Can I ask for a wheel chair?  One time I did walk down, which was fine, we didn't even ask we just went, and the walk back was terrible as my insides felt like they were falling out - but in a wheel chair I totally could have.  I was totally naïve last time, but considering actually speaking up this time on more things. 

    You should totally speak up! That along with other reasons I am having a home birth. No need to pack, just have things handy. I want to bond And to nurse right after baby comes. :) I'm working on a playlist. I know I want candles lit and a warm pool. I typically don't have a problem letting go of control but in this super special occasion I'm ceasing the day!
    I would ask for sure. In the hospital where I deliver (and I think throughout my state) they only take the baby to the nursery if requested. It's default to leave them in the room with you. They bring bathing things, etc...but you keep the baby there. They also immediately let you bond with your baby via skin to skin time as soon as baby is born. I was nursing my son within 5 minutes of delivering the placenta (he spent a few minutes away from me because he was premature and his blood sugars came back really low). I'd let the nurses know you want to be with the baby and your husband as much as possible, and ask that the baby stay with you. 
    BabyFruit Ticker


  • our Baby-Friendly hospital will not take the baby to the nursery at all unless there's a serious medical thing going on (or unless you specifically request it). like @cmerribury was saying about hers, here they bring everything to the mama and do all newborn procedures etc (except circ, if you opt for it) with baby on mama's chest. they also won't bathe the baby until you ask them to. total rooming in.

    March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality

    Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09) 
    AP, BF, BW, CD, CLW, CS, ERF, Catholic mama 
    to Evan (7/'10), Clare (8/'11), Dean (3/'14), ^F(12/'15)^, Rose (3/'16)
    *no longer a Timelord ~ WibblyWobbly BabyWaby is here!*
    <3 but i still feel bigger on the inside <3
     Autism mama! 
  • At our hospital they take baby after you nurse (they don't mind if it's up to an hour) if you want to, and dad bathes, they make sure airways are clear, etc. They also do a couple different blood draws, check vitals, a hearing test, initial immunizations, and I'm sure other things over your stay. Ped comes to our room for the check up. They are all optional I'm sure, but I certainly want them. They return baby right away. Other than that you keep them in our room unless you ask for help.
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