Not sure.

LadieSiRok · December 2015

HI ladies I'm new here and not sure if I should be worried or not. My DH and I have decided to really try for our first. Now I'm sure you're thinking ok we all are what are you worried about. Well my DH and I have been together for 10 years and 8 of those years we have not used any kind of birth control. I feel like after 8 years we would have had at least a maybe but nothing. Should I get us both tested or should we really try for a year first because before now we weren't trying.

Thank you
Kat

iceandsnowflakes29 · December 2015

I would think eight years of unprotected regular intercourse would at LEAST warrant a call to your OB.

I don't know. How old are you?

Maybe chart for 2-3 months and see if you are ovulating. "THEY" say 12 months of well timed intercourse means it's time for a RE. But since you haven't been trying to time sex during a FW and have no idea if you ovulate this is tough.

LoveIsOwlYouNeed · December 2015

LadieSiRok said:

HI ladies I'm new here and not sure if I should be worried or not. My DH and I have decided to really try for our first. Now I'm sure you're thinking ok we all are what are you worried about. Well my DH and I have been together for 10 years and 8 of those years we have not used any kind of birth control. I feel like after 8 years we would have had at least a maybe but nothing. Should I get us both tested or should we really try for a year first because before now we weren't trying. Thank you Kat

So, for eight years you have been not trying, but not preventing? If that's the case I'd set up some doctor appointments.

Also, how old are you? Could also be a factor in the decision to seek professional help or not.

LadieSiRok · December 2015

I just turned 30 in Aug and my DH just turned 32 a week ago. I have been downloading all kinds of apps to track hoping it might help me get more familiar with myself.

princesslockness · December 2015

It can take a healthy couple 1 year of well timed sex to get pregnant. As there is only a 20% chance each month of conceiving with well timed sex.

With the Fertile window typically being 3 days, it can be very easy to miss. Thus making it unlikely that you would have had a maybe, unless you hit that window.

With that information, if I were you, I would read Taking Control of Your Fertility and start tempting. That way you can see if there were irregularities with your cycle, such as: annovulary cycles, shortened Luteal Phase, or other things. That way you have some great data to take to a specialist if you are unable to conceive in a year.

DCHokiemom · December 2015

Definitely call the doctor and set up an appt for checkup and maybe some lab work.

iceandsnowflakes29 · December 2015

LadieSiRok said:
I just turned 30 in Aug and my DH just turned 32 a week ago. I have been downloading all kinds of apps to track hoping it might help me get more familiar with myself.

Download Fertility Friend and buy a basal body thermometer. Take your temp every morning and chart them. One or two months of that should reveal if you are ovulating, when you are ovulating, and how long your luteal phase is.

LadieSiRok · December 2015

Kate08Young said:
It can take a healthy couple 1 year of well timed sex to get pregnant. As there is only a 20% chance each month of conceiving with well timed sex.

With the Fertile window typically being 3 days, it can be very easy to miss. Thus making it unlikely that you would have had a maybe, unless you hit that window.

With that information, if I were you, I would read Taking Control of Your Fertility and start tempting. That way you can see if there were irregularities with your cycle, such as: annovulary cycles, shortened Luteal Phase, or other things. That way you have some great data to take to a specialist if you are unable to conceive in a year.

Thank you I will do that.

sldp123 · December 2015

Were you having regular sex for those 8 years? If you were only having sex once or twice a month, then MAYBE I could see how it would be possible to have never hit your fertile window. But if you were having reasonably frequent sex for at least some of those months/years, I would also think you would have had some luck over the course of 8 years. I don't see a reason to wait another year, even if you weren't charting and trying, it's still been a long time of not preventing. I think that warrants some testing.

LadyMillil · December 2015

I would start temping and charting your cycles now, and make a call to your doctor. If you've been having regular, unprotected sex for 8 years with no pregnancies, you should definitely talk to your doctor about some testing.

LadieSiRok · December 2015

Yes it was regularly. That is what worries me. That and I used to be able to set an alarm clock by my cycle I knew exactly when it would start and would have no cramps. Now I have no idea when it will start and the cramps are so bad I can't get out of bed at times. I've gotten regular check ups and have been told everything is fine. Does this mean I should see a specialist?

RunBooRun · December 2015

sldp123 said:

Were you having regular sex for those 8 years? If you were only having sex once or twice a month, then MAYBE I could see how it would be possible to have never hit your fertile window. But if you were having reasonably frequent sex for at least some of those months/years, I would also think you would have had some luck over the course of 8 years. I don't see a reason to wait another year, even if you weren't charting and trying, it's still been a long time of not preventing. I think that warrants some testing.

I agree with this.

If you're infrequent, you could have missed your fertility window on the regular and then only had the 20% chance if you ever did hit it. But if you normally have sex everyday or EOD, you would have hit your window most months and then I would be more concerned.

LadieSiRok · December 2015

Thank you ladies for helping me confirm my thoughts on making an appointment. I'm going to call and set one up asap. You ladies are awesome thank you for not passing judgment.

Lulucooks · December 2015

LadieSiRok said:
Thank you ladies for helping me confirm my thoughts on making an appointment. I'm going to call and set one up asap. You ladies are awesome thank you for not passing judgment.

You need to see a reproductive endocrinologist. Depending on how your insurance works you made need a referral first. I, personally, would take the time while waiting on appointments to temp and learn about charting. Whatever you do, don't take fertility medication's like Clomid from your gynecologist. They mean well, but don't do the proper monitoring.

And just because I want to let you know, not being snarky, not everyone here is trying for their first, we welcome all types, regardless of where they are in their journey.

PrimRoseMama · December 2015

LadieSiRok said:

HI ladies I'm new here and not sure if I should be worried or not. My DH and I have decided to really try for our first. Now I'm sure you're thinking ok we all are what are you worried about. Well my DH and I have been together for 10 years and 8 of those years we have not used any kind of birth control. I feel like after 8 years we would have had at least a maybe but nothing. Should I get us both tested or should we really try for a year first because before now we weren't trying. Thank you Kat

Hi Kat. Try for 12 months with good timing. Then worry about the rest. I think you might be worrying unnecessarily.

TheBorg7of9 · December 2015

After 8 years of unprotected sex, you should NOT wait to see a doctor. There is no requirement that you chart your cycles or understand anything about your fertile window to go to the doctor after one year of unprotected sex. Do not pass GO, go directly to a reproductive endocrinologist.

Kjack85 · December 2015

I would definitely set up an appointment. Whether or not your were temping or charting, I would find it odd to not have conceived after 8 years of unprotected sex.

beachbunnyxo123 · December 2015

I agree with PPs, schedule an appointment with an RE and start temping in the interim

DCHokiemom · December 2015

And plusalso, you should always get a checkup and make sure all is good when you start seriousy TTC. There's no rule about trying for a certain period of time before making sure you're healthy. I got checked out before trying for #1 and did it this time as well.

juliehollz13 · December 2015

DCHokiemom said:

And plusalso, you should always get a checkup and make sure all is good when you start seriousy TTC. There's no rule about trying for a certain period of time before making sure you're healthy. I got checked out before trying for #1 and did it this time as well.

I agree - and not just an Ob/Gyn appointment, see a primary care physician too - they can find all kinds of things. Mine found a thyroid issue and.... a pelvic kidney lol.

BostonBaby1 · December 2015

LadieSiRok said:
Yes it was regularly. That is what worries me. That and I used to be able to set an alarm clock by my cycle I knew exactly when it would start and would have no cramps. Now I have no idea when it will start and the cramps are so bad I can't get out of bed at times. I've gotten regular check ups and have been told everything is fine. Does this mean I should see a specialist?

I agree you need to see an RE. And please listen to the advice above not to take Clomid from your OB.

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