December 2015 Moms

Overdue and feeling defeated

I tried to use the search function to see if there was a topic on this already but it wouldn't work for me.

So basically, today I am 40+4, I know that's not THAT far over in hindsight. However, I am feeling sooooo defeated. For the week leading up to my due date I had a membrane sweep, I then lost my plug, had loads of braxton hicks and was tricked into thinking "is this it?!?!?" So many time I can't tell you. At my first MS the midwife told me she could get her fingers into my cervix easily, it was soft and she could easily feel bubs head. She never gave me a number in regards to how dilated I was. I left the appointment feeling great! Thinking yay I will finally get to meet my princess soon.

I spent the next few days nesting like a mad woman, I could literally feel as though labour was coming... That gut feeling you know? And yet nothing happened. How could my senses be so off?

I then went for another appointment the following week (this week) and the midwife told me I wasn't dilated at all and it was very hard for her to get her fingers in for a sweep. I was the told it was highly likely that I would need to be induced, and they have now booked me in for an inducement on the 18th.... That's 11 days over my due date and the thought of being this pregnant and uncomfortable for yet another week, only to most likely have to be induced and therefor quite possibly still be in the hospital so close to Christmas... I feel so defeated. I have been living on a fit ball and going on long walks every day, I don't sit back on the couch and I am constantly forward. She just won't budge.

Maybe I'm just emotional but I feel like my body and instincts are failing me and I just don't know how to turn my sadness at the moment into joy. It's as if I've gone from over the moon and excited to completely defeated I. The space of a week. And of course the constant hassling from family and friends about "is she here yet?" Is really not helping the situation.

I've been trolling the Internet for weeks trying to find anyone experiencing something similar, please let me know if anyone else is in the same boat as me, I'd love to know I'm not alone in this! Haha

xx

Re: Overdue and feeling defeated

  • I am currently 40+3 and am anxious and my back is killing me. At work today I felt weird and really nauseous and I thought for sure it was time. I left and went to my parents house to wait for things to happen and they never did! I'm so disappointed and frustrated. I'm scheduled for an induction on the 17th, 10 days after my due date. I hope Little Man decides to show before then.
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  • laurabwalkerlaurabwalker member
    edited December 2015
    If you're a ftm it's pretty normal to go to 41 weeks unfortunately. I would continue your nesting, trying to continue to go for vigorous walks at least once a day! Maybe a pedicure? Anything to keep yourself distracted, it's all about distraction right now
    Did they say what babys position is?
  • Yeah I'm a ftm, I think that's why I'm over thinking everything. Basically I have been told she is in perfect position, unfortunately she has been 4/5 above for 3-4 weeks now though and doesn't seem to be getting any lower. She RIGHT THERE like right there but just not close enough. I feel so much pressure though, it's as if she is so low that someone has ran a Mac truck between my legs! And it's very difficult to walk at the moment.

    The waiting game continues! I'm glad to know I'm not alone though, thank you for responding ladies x
  • Mines fully engaged but not in a perfect position (she is occiput posterior) so I will be waiting as well while doing lots of exercises to turn her anterior. It is a waiting game, It's strange to be in a place where you are about to have a huge role change but you don't know when, but you know it's soon!
  • I'm 40+4, not dilated or thinned at all. They finally decided today to set my induction for Monday night. I feel your pain
  • kit9452kit9452 member
    edited December 2015
    You are not alone! I am 40+6 weeks today and am scheduled to be induced on Monday. I totally understand feeling defeated, especially since my doctor told me at my last appointment she didn't think I would even make it to my due date!
    I'm starting to stress out because I just want LO here to know he or she is healthy and safe.
    Hang in there!
  • Thank you! Yeah it's scary because I am constantly worried about her movements, I just want her here physically sink can look after her in my arms. Fingers crossed we go in the next few days!
  • I feel the same way you do. It's like I'm slipping into a wierd depression. It's so not like me. The nursery I loved to sit in every evening I have shut the door and don't want to look at his little clothes. I am glad someone is feeling the way I am.
    I am so fearful that when baby finally does get here I still won't feel excited.
  • kit9452 said:

    I totally understand feeling defeated, especially since my doctor told me at my last appointment she didn't think I would even make it to my due date!

    This! My doctor has told me this since my 39 week appointment.......and now I'm 41+3. Had a good cry in the car after our last appointment because my cervix was still closed.

    Oooooh, the waiting!
  • Also! Recently watched the movie "What to Expect When You're Expecting" (which if you're looking for something to make you laugh, I highly suggest it!) and loved the line when Elizabeth Bank's character says... "They say when it's all over, you forget everything! Well, I for one, hope that's true!"

    Couldn't agree more!!! I'm so done with this. The time I've spent overdue has been way more challenging mentally than the nine months leading up. Maybe because I already had a good idea of what to expect? And now, big changes could happen at any moment. OR not... It's exhausting to constantly obsess over symptoms and when it's going to happen. Not to mention wondering if I'll ever get my favorite jeans back after all this. :neutral:

    My husband and I want 3 kids, so I'm praying I just forget about all this in about a month. Which I think there's a pretty good chance of that. Was reading through baby journal entries from April about morning sickness... And I don't ever remember it being as bad as I had described it. So there is hope!!! :wink:
  • So I had a back ache allllllll day and have been cramping on and off/can barely walk because of the pain between my legs! Midwife thinks I'm in early stages but I am not getting my hopes up at all. All I've gotta keep thinking is 3 more days and I'll be induced and this will all be over. I really don't want to be induced though!

    Keep me updated on where you are all at in your pregnancies too ladies x
  • I only made it to 40+3 but after being told I'd have her early and having my DD at 39 weeks I was going crazy! It's true though, LO is now a week old and the emotional time spent waiting feels like a lifetime ago! You've got this!
  • Cmagno said:

    I only made it to 40+3 but after being told I'd have her early and having my DD at 39 weeks I was going crazy! It's true though, LO is now a week old and the emotional time spent waiting feels like a lifetime ago! You've got this!

    Thankyou! The waiting game mixed with the crazy hormones are very unpleasant though! Cannot wait to meet my little one!

  • I'm 40+1 and I wasn't dilated, my cervix hasn't thinned at all, and my baby is "floating." Basically there isn't much going on for me right now. A couple weeks ago my doctor said they would probably induce me at 41weeks. Then the doctor I saw last week said they were going to wait until I progress further. I understand that waiting is better for the baby. I understand that an induction is just going to lead to a c section unless my body is at least a little ready. I'm just so anxious and worried and I want my baby here. I want to say to just do a c section at 41 weeks. I am feeling frustrated for sure. And I'm also very scared and anxious because a friend of mine just found out that her baby died at 38 weeks because the umbilical cord got wrapped around his neck. Now I am so scared that will happen.
  • edited December 2015
    Accidentally hit it again and can't delete it. Sorry
  • I'm 40+4 today and baby seems very comfy. Last week I wasn't dilated and only 50% effaced. I have my OB appointment this morning so I'm curious to see if anything has been happening. I've sort of lost hope that I'm going to have the spontaneous labor I had planned. I live in a 4th floor walk up (no elevator) so a c section would be incredibly difficult to deal with because I've heard you can't do stairs.
  • I was in a similar boat except this is my third. I'd done everything to get baby out I'm probably in better shape now than before because I was doing hundreds of squats a day with my 3 year old on my back. I went for 3 mile walks everyday I drank red raspberry leaf tea and had sex every night and sometimes lunch too. My dr had told me I was 4cm dilated and 75% effaced. She never came and I was scheduled for induction. I cancelled the induction and went back to the dr who said I was only 2cm and 50% and he couldn't get in to do a sweep. I think it all came down to me needing to relax. Babies come when you're calm and ready. So after I cried I just became like well... When she's here none of this will matter. And if I was late I was late there's nothing I could do. I stopped the squats and walking (which got my last 2 out!) and didn't even have sex for 2 nights!!! The second night I was in labor by 1045. So maybe just try and relax. Go out for a nice dinner and movie with hubby? I promise you won't be pregnant forever.
  • 40 + 4 today which is when I had my daughter. Had dreams about my grandparents last night and woke up with a little "show" so hoping today's the day !! Also feeling nauseous and achy so hoping that's just labor starting up too. Heh.
  • I feel the same way. Hang in there!! There's only so much we can do and I try to tell myself that my body is smarter than I am and doesn't have a date in mind. But it's frustrating for sure
  • Well I'm 41+2 today now and I woke up yesterday for the first time and didn't cry. I just accepted the fact that I was probably going to need intervention to help get my bubba girl out. I have an appointment tonight and I honestly don't even think I want them to do a 3rd sweep, the last 2 were painful and dos nothing. I only have 2 more days to get through then I'll be induced. I just want her here already, and induction is scaring me like you wouldn't believe!
  • I am feeling you all and glad that I'm not alone when I feel like having crying episodes because she's not here yet and I've had very little signs of labor. The dr was going to induce me Friday the 18th but the hospital only allows one scheduled induction a day and they were booked ALL weekend!! I have to wait until Monday . All because I'm assuming, and this is me just being an emotional, angry, anxious mom to be, that no one wants to have their child on Christmas so their all scheduling the weekend before. I just over it and irritated about every little thing and tired of everyone saying oh you'll go naturally before then. I'm over here like , trust me NO I WONT! I feel fine
  • I'm 40+1 today! I need to be in labor tonight, or he needs to wait til Friday evening! Haha! I just do NOT want to miss hubby's graduation and commissioning!!! (And Star Wars, haha!) But, I feel so relieved. My doctor said he wouldn't do any interventions til 42 weeks!
  • I'm 39 wks and was told today that everything is still very closed and there's no sign of labor coming anytime soon. She said in her professional opinion I'll be over due and likeky require an induction :( but man, it's hard isn't it. I also worry a lot about cord gettibg wrapped around the neck... I don't know how likely that is but I just want baby here safe
  • I'm 40 weeks and 5 days at the moment and really hoping he comes by himself because I don't want to be induced or have a caesar...but I'm 0% effaced and 0cm dilated. He is engaged but no clue whether he'll come by himself before the 21st or 22nd when I'm supposed to be induced (if he hasn't come by himself then, at which time I would be 11 days overdue). 
    Trying to vibe him to come by himself!
  • Hi, I am 41+4 and get induced tomorrow. Feeling worried about the birth now which I wasn't before, more because of the possible size of baby!

    I've had 3 sweeps and baby was back to back but at yesterday's MW check baby had moved so that's something.

    I wish you all the best and hope labour is kind to all... Just think not long now and we will get to hold our little miracles in our arms xxx
  • kellieawkellieaw member
    edited December 2015
    I'm now getting induced then too! I am so scared but cannot wait to have my little one in my arms. Good luck with everything and keep me posted! I'm sure I'll be trawling this board tomorrow while in in hospital waiting for the gel to work haha xx
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