Pain expectation in labor

ShannyFann · December 2015

Ok, it might take me a sec to get to the point but bear with me.
There is a show on TV called Going Deep with David Reese and this guy goes in depth about simple things like making ice and opening doors (much more complex than you think). He talks to all sorts of experts and geniuses from NASA and MIT and stuff. This morning I was watching an episode on "how to get punched in the face" and he was talking to a fancy kind of psychologist about how we manage the pain of getting punched in the face (and other painful actions) and she said our brains have their own system for pain management. The more we expect pain the more pain we will experience. If we stay relax and distract our brains and go in with a "it won't be that bad" kind of attitude the less pain we will experience.
SOOO if we go into labor expecting it to be this big awful torturous pain then our brains will experience a higher level of pain. BUT if we go in thinking "hey, it's labor, I can get through this, it won't be so bad, and I'll have a little baby at the end of it" our brains will experience less pain. So for all you ladies who are freaking out about labor try to calm down and change your attitude/expectations of labor. I know I know, easier said than done, but definitely worth a shot.

djdawn29a · December 2015

Ha-ha...good luck with that. Let us know how it goes.

nlwz123 · December 2015

lol ok.

Chelsey092 · December 2015

It's not as simple as a mind trick.

carlyhammond · December 2015

I guess this could make sense... Kind of like the law of attraction...
If you believe in something hard enough it'll happen.
Like - if you think oh labor won't be so bad hard enough maybe it won't..

Regardless labor hurts, it's going to hurt (anyone else having contractions?) there's no way around it. I think it says your body can with hold a certain decibel of pain.. Labor is beyond that the same as 26 (I think) Bones breaking at the same time?
(I probably should look up the exact thing it says but I'm too lazy)

I'm a FTM, so I can't say I've delt with the pain before. But, I'm not going to sit in the hospital bed chanting to myself "this isn't going to hurt, this isn't going to hurt" because.... Well..... It is....

Mommyduclos · December 2015

She does have a little bit of a point here guys. Is thinking labor is going to be awesome going to make it not hurt at all? Obviously not! But the mind is a powerful thing, fear increases the pain response because we are focused on the pain and we tense up and fight our body. Also you would be AMAZED how much distraction helps. I had an extremely intense labor with my last baby. Got to the hospital at 4 cm and had her in my arms 2.5 hours later. My contractions were on top of each other and very paunful. Unfortunately since things moved so fast I didn't have a support person. My husband was driving from work a town away and my mother in law who was with me had to take care of my son. Anyways. Occasionally a nice staff member would come up to me and encourage me to look in their eyes and tell me how great I was doing during a contraction. Seriously, that helped so much because I was focusing on something other than my pain. My husband will be here for this labor and I've told him how helpful that was. So state of mind does help or hurt the process but obviously it's still going to hurt.

ShannyFann · December 2015

Hahaha!!! I'm not suggesting this will make it not hurt, we're thrusting 8lbs humans from our bodies, it's not going to feel good. What I'm saying is don't let your fears and anxieties get the better of you.
This is my second kid and with my first I had such terrible back labor I couldn't think of anything but the pain, but I'm trying to stay positive instead of letting the fear of "what if it's like the last time" let me get all crazy and I thought this was an interesting little peice of science. And hey, it couldn't hurt. Besides the basic point if it is true. If you go in scared out if your head about labor it will be harder to to deal with it. If you go in thinking you can get through it you will have a much better chance of having med free labor/birth if that's what you want. And to get you through until you get to the hospital for that epi if that's what you want.
Self fulfilling prophecies and all that.

Mamabeagle · December 2015

It's not just thinking about the pain being manageable, it's believing it. And believing it in general let alone through a day or more of labor is unlikely.

I get you're trying to be helpful but this was a really ridiculous thing to post. Of course labor pains are bearable and women survive them, but even with a la-de-da attitude it's going to be very painful, period.

danasphillips · December 2015

Labor hurts way more than being punched in the face. I could maybe compare it to being punched all over your body (inside and out) for several hours. But yes, you'll survive.

Beverly0628 · December 2015

Mamabeagle said:

It's not just thinking about the pain being manageable, it's believing it. And believing it in general let alone through a day or more of labor is unlikely. I get you're trying to be helpful but this was a really ridiculous thing to post. Of course labor pains are bearable and women survive them, but even with a la-de-da attitude it's going to be very painful, period.

This may be an accurate statement for you personally, but, every woman and pregnancy is different. I disagree that this is a ridiculous post. I also think that your comment is a little extreme, but, we all are entitled to our own opinions, public forum and all that. Additionally, OP stated that of course it would still be painful. I think the point of the post was to be entertaining and light and to share something interesting. Obviously labor is more painful than a face punch. I don't think that anyone actually thinks that or needs that distinction to be made.

lemasted · December 2015

I just got done reading the Hypnobirthing book, and the principle seems to be the same. If you have thoughts that something is going to be painful right from the get go, then that's what you are going to focus on. Also, like a prior poster said, you will be more tense and fight your body. I don't think this is a ridiculous notion at all.

holocene · December 2015

I don't think this is a ridiculous post at all.

There is evidence that this comes in to play here, and I don't think it's something that should just be laughed off and dismissed as ridiculous. If you think it's a stupid idea, then let it go out one ear and out the other. If you feel there could be some merit to the power of perception vs. reality - then do some more research and be open to the idea being presented.

failuretofly · December 2015

There actually is legitimate science to back this argument. Fear blocks endorphins and oxytocin. If you're terrified of the pain the your body is going to try and shut down labour and won't release endorphins which we all know are natural pain killers. I'm also in the middle of reading hypnobirthing and it makes total sense. Maybe everyone should try being a little bit more open minded rather than just shutting down an idea that might be a bit different than what you were thinking.

sarahbeara25 · December 2015

I think this makes perfect sense. The brain is an amazing thing. It's still going to be painful but going into it with a positive outlook should make a difference

Strangely enough I'm looking forward to the experience. I know it's going to be painful, but I get my sweet little squirmy worm out of it. And I think it's a pretty amazing process. So ya it's going to be painful and acknowledging that is important, but the positive mind set is probably going to help

Jamilla9 · December 2015

I love this! It would be so hard for me to put it into practice but being relaxed during labor is soooo important.

Achae · December 2015

ShannyFann said:
Ok, it might take me a sec to get to the point but bear with me.
There is a show on TV called Going Deep with David Reese and this guy goes in depth about simple things like making ice and opening doors (much more complex than you think). He talks to all sorts of experts and geniuses from NASA and MIT and stuff. This morning I was watching an episode on "how to get punched in the face" and he was talking to a fancy kind of psychologist about how we manage the pain of getting punched in the face (and other painful actions) and she said our brains have their own system for pain management. The more we expect pain the more pain we will experience. If we stay relax and distract our brains and go in with a "it won't be that bad" kind of attitude the less pain we will experience.
SOOO if we go into labor expecting it to be this big awful torturous pain then our brains will experience a higher level of pain. BUT if we go in thinking "hey, it's labor, I can get through this, it won't be so bad, and I'll have a little baby at the end of it" our brains will experience less pain. So for all you ladies who are freaking out about labor try to calm down and change your attitude/expectations of labor. I know I know, easier said than done, but definitely worth a shot.

As pp said, this sounds like what hypo babies is like. Also in agreement that when you're more tense and not relaxed you'll experience pain differently.

SarahS06 · December 2015

Lurking from Feb bmb. I'm a pain psychologist - there is a lot of good science behind psychological aspects of pain and pain management.

If you have some interest/spare time:
https://cdn.intechopen.com/pdfs/40395/InTech-Physical_and_psychological_aspects_of_pain_in_obstetrics.pdf

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/19709792/

It might also be worth checking out the role of catastrophizing in pain.

Happy and healthy pregnancies and deliveries!

ChrissyD1203 · December 2015

I don't think this is a ridiculous post at all @Mamabeagle. If you research it a little, you might agree. Even on the most basic level fear and anxiety cause us to tense up. Tension does not help a contraction. That was like rule 101 in every birthing class I've taken.

Jessdub10 · December 2015

I absolutely agree with the importance of relaxing. I didn't realize how tense I was last time until the next day when I was so sore all over. (It was like I had done a triathlon the day before. I could barely hold my baby because my arms felt like they were going to fall off.) I already told dh to make a point of reminding me to relax especially my arms and shoulders.

Also having someone to focus on was a big help. My midwife became that person for me - she stayed past her shift to assist the OB and be there for the birth. I also didn't realize it until later, but in the moment she was the only one who got me through my dd's birth. My epi didn't work and the pain hit a level that was beyond what I could handle, so instead of passing out my brain took over and had literal tunnel vision on her.

Sure it hurts like hell, but a "mind over matter" attitude can help get you through it easier. I was amazed at what my brain/body could do on its own. I'm definitely going into this next labor more mentally prepared, and with the knowledge that if I can get through dd's birth I can do anything.

essentialpeace · December 2015

SarahS06 said:
Lurking from Feb bmb. I'm a pain psychologist - there is a lot of good science behind psychological aspects of pain and pain management.

If you have some interest/spare time:
https://cdn.intechopen.com/pdfs/40395/InTech-Physical_and_psychological_aspects_of_pain_in_obstetrics.pdf

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/19709792/

It might also be worth checking out the role of catastrophizing in pain.

Happy and healthy pregnancies and deliveries!

Thanks for chiming in!

Wicked4589 · December 2015

I completely agree with this. It will never be a walk in the park but fear and the unknown can be bigger stressers. We took a birthing class and I feel like we learned a lot. I feel so much better prepared now. Do I know what the pain will feel like? Nope. But I know that when they say certain things or want to perform certai procedures, I know what to expect. I also know my options and different ways to help labor progress. Knowledge is power and can help your mind move through the steps.

ShannyFann · December 2015

@Beverly0628 Yes, that is exactly what it was intended to be, "entertaining and light"
You said (in fewer words) what I was trying to convey. And no, labor is nothing like a face punch.

maddisonwallace · December 2015

kvacmak said:
There actually is legitimate science to back this argument. Fear blocks endorphins and oxytocin. If you're terrified of the pain the your body is going to try and shut down labour and won't release endorphins which we all know are natural pain killers. I'm also in the middle of reading hypnobirthing and it makes total sense. Maybe everyone should try being a little bit more open minded rather than just shutting down an idea that might be a bit different than what you were thinking.

Please tell me I wasn't the only one that was thinking of Legally Blonde when they read this.

mg137 · December 2015

Thank you for the reminder of this! Our expectations can have such a huge effect on how we experience pain. I reread Ina Mays natural childbirth book this pregnancy largely because all the stories make labor sound so manageable and not scary. They get me in the mindset that the pain is ok and good for the progression of labor and nothing to be afraid of. Last time what helped me the most when the pain was strong was telling myself that this is just something that's happening now and soon it won't be happening anymore. It sounds a little silly but it's what popped in my head and it made the pain not scary.

Good luck! Labor is painful, but a lot of things in life are painful. I try to look at it the same way I look at an extremely difficult, tiring, and painful athletic event (I did endurance mountain bike races pre pregnancy). Obviously they don't feel the same, but those races hurt bad for a long time and I called that fun. And all I got at the end was a medal, not a cute wriggly baby.

failuretofly · December 2015

mg137 said:
Thank you for the reminder of this! Our expectations can have such a huge effect on how we experience pain. I reread Ina Mays natural childbirth book this pregnancy largely because all the stories make labor sound so manageable and not scary. They get me in the mindset that the pain is ok and good for the progression of labor and nothing to be afraid of. Last time what helped me the most when the pain was strong was telling myself that this is just something that's happening now and soon it won't be happening anymore. It sounds a little silly but it's what popped in my head and it made the pain not scary.

Good luck! Labor is painful, but a lot of things in life are painful. I try to look at it the same way I look at an extremely difficult, tiring, and painful athletic event (I did endurance mountain bike races pre pregnancy). Obviously they don't feel the same, but those races hurt bad for a long time and I called that fun. And all I got at the end was a medal, not a cute wriggly baby.

This is totally the mindset I'm going into labour with. DH and I like to hike in he mountains for fun, and climbing a mountain totally sucks and hurts but it's all worth it in the end. That's going to be my visualization and motivation. If I can climb a mountain I can do this!

kimber308 · December 2015

I completely agree with you. Going in with the right attitude can make a world of difference.

ariasbabyblog · December 2015

I'm going to chime in with an unpopular opinion, but my labor did not hurt.

What I experienced with my son was not pain. It was the most intense, uncomfortable, and physically and mentally exhausting thing I have ever done, but at no point would I have said that I was in pain. I went into labor with the expectation of "we'll see what this feels like". I have a terrible curiosity about things most people think I'm nuts for (I've never broken a bone and I'm curious about that pain) so I tried very hard to be open minded about what I was actually feeling vs what I expected to feel. Now, there were times when I lost my focus and my DH needed to remind me to slow my breathing and recenter myself, and at those times I did feel more uncomfortable than when I was focused on what I was doing.

On the other side of this, I did not manage to deliver my son as he became stuck in the birth canal and ended up being delivered via c-section, so as far as the actual birthing goes, I have no opinion as I have not experienced it. Labor though was not that bad. Then again, maybe I'm just weird because when I had a really bad "can't move going to throw up" gall bladder attack earlier this year, it was also not what I would have called pain, I just couldn't move or function.

PedsIsHardcore · December 2015

Everyone has a different pain threshold. And I also agree with PP's over it being like that of hypnobabies.
With my DD I didn't have any pain even when being induced on Pitocin before my epidural. There are a lot of variables, more than making it a mind over matter thing.

LIly436 · December 2015

You will experience the labor pain the same as any other pain - if you are screaming from a small cut, it will be worse and if you are tolerating pain well you might be able to relax. Sensitive person would not be able to relax or get distracted - they will be consumed by the pain and the tough one will be walking the halls humming a song. I remember my labor pain still as very strong, even though I thought I can tolerate pain very well. I planned on natural birth and all that stuff. After a few hours I was begging my doctor to take a baby out of me any way they please just to stop the pain.

All that breathing, relaxation and positive attitude does not really work

SummerOH · December 2015

I don't think it has to do with being tough. That implies that women who have pain relief or more painful experiences are weak. Every woman's body is different and everyone experiences pain differently. For example, some women are fine with internal checks and others (self included) find them very painful - and it certainly isn't because I fear them. I typically handle pain and injury well, but something about labor pains is different for me and is intensely unbearable. Perhaps because I've been induced twice. I do think that fear can lead to anxiety and panic, so staying calm and repeating that it's natural and for a purpose helps. But if that doesn't work, there's no shame in taking advantage of modern medicine! My sister and several friends have went med free and swear by things I'm trying this time - rrl tea, dates, pelvic rocks, balance ball, etc., plus setting a "tap out time" for yourself (for many it was 6 hours).

cerafina205 · December 2015

Interesting hypothesis about labor. I wasn't fearing labor pains with my first but had terrible terrible back labor. all I felt was pain! I'm trying to be positive with my second but the pain was wayyyy too intense to forget.

catgraz · December 2015

@LIly436 : "All that breathing, relaxation and positive attitude does not really work"... FOR YOU!!!!! And I'm sorry for that... I agree with you, that for some people / in some specific situations, it won't be enough but please, stay openminded and understand that for others (like me), it helps. I had an unmedicated homebirth for my first baby and I'm really happy, we had an hypnobirthing course before that. It helped me A LOT!!! To me, it's important to let FTMs know that they can do it, that they shouldn't underestimate their strengh... which can btw also be useful when things don't work out as expected and you have to change plans...a positive birth experience is such a gift for a women, I think, it's worth exploring every single possibility to achieve it! :-)

eliseandbaby · December 2015

I see what you're saying, I think it's a good point. I'm reading a super old but sorta helpful book called "mind over labor " that says sort of the same thing!

MamaHolland · December 2015

This is my first birth but for me it helps to have reasonable expectations. I expect birth will be painful however I wholeheartedly believe that I have the strength & fortitude to handle it. knowing how I cope with pain I don't find it helpful to be denial that it will be painful. I just imagine birth as a pain that has a purpose. It's not a broken arm. It's not pain of sickness. It's signaling bringing life into the world & I can handle it. I just keep that thought in my mind. For me it's better to expect a pain that's a 10 so if it's actually an 7 or 8 then I will be pleasantly surprised but still in pain nonetheless. Lol.

Cristie2225 · December 2015

Yeah.... That's not how it works. I thought I was tough until I had my first. Labor pains are no joke.

MollyA1011 · December 2015

I love this post! I don't even talk to people about the fact that I really don't want an epidural to get me through labor because people can get so opinionated and rude about it. I am not trying to be some super woman , as I've been called for saying this, or whatever anyone else thinks. I'm doing it for myself and my baby. Women have done it for years so why is it wrong when people want to try? Why do other women get in a tizzy with an attitude and say "well good luck?" I find that so annoying. I totally agree with mindset having a huge factor and I'm hoping this helps me get through. For people who don't find that helpful, that's totally fine and do whatever helps YOU.... But why are people so nasty about people trying different things? Lol I don't get it. Thanks for sharing this!

ccoleeman · December 2015

I'm going in with the med-free mindset but won't beat myself up if I decide to get an epidural. I'm choosing to view it like running a marathon for the first time. My hope is to make it through without walking (medication) I'm feeling slightly prepared for said marathon having run cross country for 2 years and running a max of 6 miles before- both of those pale in comparison to a marathon (I've experienced intense pain and am familiar with how I've dealt with it, even though that pain is nothing like labor pain). Knowing that it will be much more difficult than anything I've had to do before, I'm choosing to prepare myself as best I can by being healthy, having a good coach, knowing how to breathe properly, and prepping my mental state (again applies to both running and labor). We'll see how I do!

Eta- I'm equating walking with an epidural, because in my mind, no matter how you get to the finish line, completing a marathon is damn impressive and walking for part of it is not a cop out. Same thing with birth- no matter how you have the baby, it's a huge accomplishment to bring life into the world.

ChrissyD1203 · December 2015

Love your analysis @ccoleeman - totally agree

LIly436 · December 2015

I think only ones, who had at least one child can comment here, because all the smart stuff from books and movies does not work on everyone. I had unmedicated birth, thank you - no more. It does not mean though, that others cant have tolerable pain during childbirth

jeanbug12 · December 2015

I had my second without pain meds. One thing that really helped me was I asked the nurses not to ask me about pain. They are required by hospital accreditation standards to ask you about your pain. So they usually come in and ask you to rate your pain on a scale of 0-10. I have a lot of trouble quantifying my pain like that and it really makes me think about the pain I am having, and about how much worse I think it might get. I told a nurse I didn't want to be asked about my pain, she noted it in my chart, and no one else spoke about pain while I was in labor. It helped me to keep my mind off my pain. That and a fear of getting an epidural ( because I feel like it in part led to my c section with my first) really helped me get through my birth med free.

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