I hate the name my MIL picked out for herself!

Thunda88 · December 2015

My MIL has decided that she is going to be called mommom. I hate it! I feel like it is way too similar to mom and feel like she should pick something else. I know I might be overreacting but seriously I don't like it. I know that the first time LO says momma around her she is going to think he's saying mommom and when that happens I don't think I will handle it well. I have expressed my dislike for it to DH and although he says he agrees, he still refers to her as mommom! I just want her to have a normal grandparent name

mrsdobbie · December 2015

That would annoy me so much! I have never heard that one before. Any chance you could get your DH to tell her to pick something else because that is too close to mom?

wack0032 · December 2015

You need to get your DH onboard and just start calling her something else. If she won't pick, pick something for her. Maybe emphasize it by Xmas presents to "grandma, Nana, etc" from baby.

trishee13 · December 2015

Umm yeah I would not be okay with that. In fact I think it's a little weird. Yeah I would just pick something for her and start using it haha

sistio · December 2015

That's the name that my MIL picked for herself as well.... luckily she lives far enough away that we only see her about once a month, so I don't have to hear it that often.

Thunda88 · December 2015

I've tried to get DH to say something and he doesn't want to because we have already had to hurt her feelings because her and his uncle decided to put strawberry gelatin on LO's lips at Thanksgiving so that he could "taste" real food. I know she picked that name because her kids called her mom "mom" but I'm not OK with it. I'm hoping that by me referring to her as Grandma that LO picks up on it, otherwise I will have to be the bad person. I'm just tired of pleasing everyone else.

akfbookworm · December 2015

It's your baby you don't have to please everyone, I would be livid if my in laws tried giving LO food so early.

Not sure we're you live, but I'm in a small town in the south and have heard several grandmas called mommom. Depending on how much time you spend with her I bet you can train your baby to call her grandma, although if she's determined to pick her own title I would have your husband talk to her about picking something else.

midge519 · December 2015

I would no be ok with that at all. TBH I'd refuse to allow my child to call her that. The closest I'd allow my children to call a grandparent to mom or dad is Grandmom/Granddad. I get that your DH doesn't want to have to hurt her feelings again but it needs to be done or it's a fight your going to have to fight forever. Maybe give it a week or two and sits own with her and express your feelings, and make sure DH expresses that he feels the same way. Maybe even have DH express that he feels uncomfortable with it before you say that you do so it comes as more from him so she gets it better. And then see if she wants help coming up with something.

This is something SO and I have discussed at great length because my nephew calls his grandma Mommom and his ex in laws are Mama and Papi (they are Mexican and say grandma and grandpa mean they are old). He fought the fight with his ex's parents for years and we make it a point that when the boys are here and talk about them we call them grandma and grandpa. We refuse to allow our child to call anyone else a name meaning mom or dad unless ts a step parent

crbpjb · December 2015

When did this whole grandparents get to decide what they're called trend start? I hate it. They're all grandma and grandpa. My mom and stepdad want to be called something else because my sister's kids call them something else. I hate it. I told them flat out that we will be referring to everyone as Grandma blah and Grandpa so and so. You are a grandparent. Get over the name thing. AND people will ask my nieces if that's their grandma (about my mom) and they say no that's my Nana. Other people might get that but the problem is the kids don't even know they're the same thing on different sides. Other parents can do what they want but the whole thing irks me, especially since my mom wanted to be called grandma until my sister said she wanted the two sides to have different names and now my mom doesn't want to be called grandma? Sorry I'm in postpartum everything annoys me mode

zetlopez · December 2015

My MIL thinks she's grandma and my mom is abuela. And she wants us to call her husband grandpa and my FIL to be called the Vietnamese name for grandpa. Um first off, abuela is just grandma in Spanish so I can call my mom both depending on what language we are speaking. Second, I don't speak Vietnamese so my FIL is grandpa to me. If my FIL wants to refer to himself in Vietnamese that's totally fine, but he's also grandpa. Third, I don't consider my MIL's husband as grandpa. My husband doesn't call him dad therefore he's not grandpa. Sorry not sorry. She thinks having 2 grandma's is confusing. Um no, you do have 2 and there is no confusion.

Krysta6 · December 2015

We let all our grandparents pick because my parents are divorced. My mom is being called grandmama. I told her if the baby can't say all of that she will be grandma -- not mama. I think everyone has to be comfortable with the names

dchiapella · December 2015

I let the grandparents pick but they all had the decency to ask me if the name they picked was okay with me (which of course they were) but man I would be so pissed at my mom being determined to be called mommom. You definitely need to address this with her. Just calmly express that it makes you feel uncomfortable to have her go by a name that's so close to "mom." Perhaps suggest Memaw? I agree that your SO needs to back you up on this.

midge519 · December 2015

I also forgot to add that my oldest was the first grandchild for my parents so they got the name he chose for them. We called them Grandmom and granddad until he started talking and he chose Nannan and Papa-pronounced pawpaw. That's what they go by

Cmoniga · December 2015

Definitely agree that mommom is just too close to mom. I've never heard this before, must be geographical.

That being said- I think grandparents take things a bit too seriously when it comes to their titles! My mom drives me nuts... She is very jealous of my in-laws due to stupid reasons (they're just more well off than her and we live closer to them). One day my MIL mentioned to me she'd like to be called Grammy and my FIL should be Grampy. This came up in convo with him my mother when I asked what she was interested in being called. She nearly lost her shit. She was hysterical! She said she wanted to be called Grammy and now that my MIL has "called it" she can't use it. I tried to explain they can both be Grammy, it is perfectly fine, means the same thing! She was insistent it wasn't okay and was so upset about it. Brought up my niece and how this happened with her too and how she's never going to get to be called Grammy. It's so annoying.

To top it off, my MIL wanted my FIL to be Grampy but he said he "polled" his other grandfather co-workers and they all liked Papa better and said its easier for kids to say. My MIL was PISSED! She's accepted it now, I think... But was super angry he didn't go with her pick of Grampy.

Dramaaaaaaa.

mandala1107 · December 2015

Just call her what you want. The kids will end up coming up with their own names for grandparents. We all referred to my MIL as Gigi (what she wanted) and my daughter calls her Mimi. We refer to her now as grandma Mimi. I always refer to my grandma as granny and my daughter calls her grandma. My sister calls her Nan. My poor kids have so many grandparents and they all go by something different. Not because they picked it, but it's a combination of what terms we use locally and what the kids could say and come up with. Even our cousin Lauren goes by lala just because one of the little cousins years ago couldn't say it and it stuck. In the end, they won't care what they are called as long as LO recognizes them.

millereliz13 · December 2015

No matter what we want them to be called or what they want to be called, the kids will call them what they want. My late grandmother liked grandma but hated granny. We kids called her granny because we thought it was funny.

BryDienta · December 2015

Wow I would just call her what you want and ignore her wishes on that one! I have the first grandchild for my parents so I got to pick and went with Mimi and papa which they love.

whitemn04 · December 2015

Who knew it would be such a big deal? My parents are Grammy and papa to my nieces. It was something that just sort of happened. My MIL wanted to be called granny. DH said what are you, 90? She hasn't insisted on being called anything since. I imagine Grammy and papa will stick with my kid which is fine but in laws will probably be gma Sharon and gpa Bob. When we were kids my dads parents were grandma and grandpa and my moms mom has always been grandma Dee. I'm glad we aren't fighting over it. Momom would piss me off too though.

tracij12 · December 2015

That would definitely not fly with me! I agree with PPs that said they will be called whatever the kids decide. With my 4 year old my mom has been called about 5 different names. She used meemaw for a while and I loved it. I tried my best to make it stick and it didn't

chein1 · December 2015

My paternal grandmother was my MomMom, my LO's great grandmother is MomMom and DD1 picked MomMom for my mother on her own (my mom had chosen grandma but DD1 said MomMom). Granted, that's MY mom, not sure how I'd feel about it if it were my mil.

momma2char · December 2015

My mom wanted to become Lala and her boyfriend Pizza... I just don't understand her thought process on this.. Lol. DD will definitely not be calling them these names! So strange

tracij12 · December 2015

kirstienlowell said:
My mom wanted to become Lala and her boyfriend Pizza... I just don't understand her thought process on this.. Lol. DD will definitely not be calling them these names! So strange

You win!!! Is there a story behind pizza? Made me lol!!

Melissa9481 · December 2015

Mine kept referring to herself as "mama" and me just "mom." I told him it wasn't allowed and he talked to her. But he didn't fully understand why I was upset until she referred to his father as "daddy" when talking to LO. He quickly corrected her with "grandpa" and agreed it was weird and upsetting.

mmcknight · December 2015

My MIL is going by Mawmaw which drives me crazy because it sounds like mama which is what I call myself. I know when baby says mama she will think it's about her.

lindsayp916 · December 2015

Mommom would not be ok with me either. I find the grandparent names really annoying and self-indulgent. I find it funny that kids will call you what they want anyway which is why I'm ignoring the my "pawpaw" problem- both my father and FIL are called Pawpaw by nieces and nephews and are territorial about it. I'm not going to force any name on my child when grandma and grandpa do fine.

VioletandRose · December 2015

This must be geographical because when I read this thread I could not believe what all the fuss was about. One of my grandmothers was mommom, my daughter's grandmother (my MIL) is mommom (she has 4 older grandchildren that already call her mommom), growing up almost everyone I knew had a "mommom." I'm from Philadelphia.

Is your MIL from a different area than you?

We also let my parents choose their names bc my MIL and FIL already had established names with their other grandchildren. Surprisingly they went traditional with grandmom and grandpop, and my stepmother is nana.

If it makes a difference, growing up we never confused "mama" and "mommom." (Then again, we are/were "mommy" users, not "mama.")

kaza512 · December 2015

I agree about geography. I am from the Mid East coast area and everyone I knew growing up had a mommom and a poppop. (I didn't though, I had a grandmommy and a grama). I wanted my mom to be grandmommy/grandmom, but my newphew couldn't say that when he first started talking and he started calling her Mimi and she loved it (because who wouldn't love whatever your first grandchild said). I HATE Mimi, it sounds so stupid to me. I refer to her a grandmommy but she refers to herself as Mimi. When the baby is old enough, she can call her what she wants.

cararie · December 2015

VioletandRose said:
This must be geographical because when I read this thread I could not believe what all the fuss was about. One of my grandmothers was mommom, my daughter's grandmother (my MIL) is mommom (she has 4 older grandchildren that already call her mommom), growing up almost everyone I knew had a "mommom." I'm from Philadelphia.

Is your MIL from a different area than you?

We also let my parents choose their names bc my MIL and FIL already had established names with their other grandchildren. Surprisingly they went traditional with grandmom and grandpop, and my stepmother is nana.

If it makes a difference, growing up we never confused "mama" and "mommom." (Then again, we are/were "mommy" users, not "mama.")

All of this exactly! I have a feeling it must be geographical as I'm also from the Philadelphia area also and we always called my dad's mom Mom-mom and my husband calls his dad's mom Mom-mom as well. (Incidentally our DD is named after both these grandmothers)

With our LO we let both sides pick their titles as well. My parents went with Mom-mom and Pop-pop because that's what my nephew has always called them and he's the oldest grandchild. DH's parents went with grandma and Grandpop. But as others have said, no matter what you or they decide, kids will ultimately call them whatever they want. When my nephew was born, my parents wanted to be called Grandma and Grandpa but he began calling them Mom-mom and Pop-pop when he was learning to talk, so that's what they are.

FWIW, as PP said, we never got confused growing up between Mom and mommom

midge519 · December 2015

@LaTeteRouge and @VioletandRose I find it crazy how being so close and things are so different. I'm from near Hershey and Mommom isn't common around here. Im glad to hear there wasn't confusion for you guys thought! Maybe it's one of those things some of us, myself included, should take a deep breath and step back about.

danniellemichelle · December 2015

I wouldn't like that either. I agree with the other reaponses and would just refer to her as grandma when she's around your baby. My MIL told me she wanted to be called Nani before the baby was even born. I know it's because she doesn't want to feel old by being called grandma. I just refer to her and all my other baby's grandparents as grandma and grandpa I honestly forget lol

Thunda88 · December 2015

VioletandRose said:
This must be geographical because when I read this thread I could not believe what all the fuss was about. One of my grandmothers was mommom, my daughter's grandmother (my MIL) is mommom (she has 4 older grandchildren that already call her mommom), growing up almost everyone I knew had a "mommom." I'm from Philadelphia.

Is your MIL from a different area than you?

We also let my parents choose their names bc my MIL and FIL already had established names with their other grandchildren. Surprisingly they went traditional with grandmom and grandpop, and my stepmother is nana.

If it makes a difference, growing up we never confused "mama" and "mommom." (Then again, we are/were "mommy" users, not "mama.")

No we are from the same area, I just know the first time LO says mama she is going to think it's about her and will be telling everyone that. She already contradicts everything we say or do like putting cereal in hisome bottle or insisting that his bottle be warmed. I'm really just over people over stepping.

wack0032 · December 2015

What is with all these grandparents feeling like its their baby? If someone put cereal in my baby's bottle after telling them not to, they would no longer be allowed to be alone with the baby.

tracij12 · December 2015

^^^what she said. That's just not ok!

Wigglesx2 · December 2015

My mom wants to be called GlamMa.

gmehau · December 2015

Oh god I know exactly how you feel! My MIL wants to be called mama

kayce49 · December 2015

Oh my god this giving yourself a nickname thing drives me crazy, and I just figured out why.
It's a weird forced intimacy thing.
You get a nickname when you're close to somebody.
For awhile my nephew called me Bebe that's not because I asked him to, it's because as he developed that's what he started calling me. And so I had a nickname.
It's such a desperate needy thing and it's a manipulative way to seem like a loving grandparent who's always there.
I don't like that.
If you're around, loving, and supportive you'll get a nickname. Thing is, if you're around, loving, and supportive you won't feel like you need a nickname to prove it.
My MIL wants to be meme. It's dumb. She's grandma.

mrskelly731 · December 2015

I didn't like what my MIL chose and refused to call her that. In my opinion it was dumb. I just always referred to her as Grandma so that's what DD calls her. Nothing was ever said about the "wrong name"

bellie1223 · December 2015

kayce49 said:
Oh my god this giving yourself a nickname thing drives me crazy, and I just figured out why.
It's a weird forced intimacy thing.
You get a nickname when you're close to somebody.

This, exactly! You hit the nail on the head, I also couldn't figure out exactly why I was annoyed by the whole "pick your name" thing! My parents decided they want the baby to call then Nana and papa-son, and my mom corrects me every time I say grandma and grandpa. Sorry mom, I've got more pressing things to worry about than what my daughter calls you when she starts talking in a year...

reneelanderson · December 2015

I absolutely cannot stand that my MIL wants to be called Gigi. It drives me insane when she calls herself it. I never refer to her as that to my son, I just say grandma. My great grandma was who I called Gigi and she has just recently passed, I have even told my MIL this and she just shakes it off like. I big deal

lalena · December 2015

That's super annoying!

I let DD decide. Her cousin is 10mths older and started calling my mom Gigi but my daughter made up Gaggy and now has shortened it to Gags. It's hilarious to hear her yell it in the middle of the store. "Hey, Gags, where are you?!" LOL

Yeah, Mommom is way too close. It seems slightly backhanded. Get DH to talk with her.

pinkj4182 · December 2015

kayce49 said:
Oh my god this giving yourself a nickname thing drives me crazy, and I just figured out why.
It's a weird forced intimacy thing.
You get a nickname when you're close to somebody.
For awhile my nephew called me Bebe that's not because I asked him to, it's because as he developed that's what he started calling me. And so I had a nickname.
It's such a desperate needy thing and it's a manipulative way to seem like a loving grandparent who's always there.
I don't like that.
If you're around, loving, and supportive you'll get a nickname. Thing is, if you're around, loving, and supportive you won't feel like you need a nickname to prove it.
My MIL wants to be meme. It's dumb. She's grandma.

Nailed it!! You said exactly how I feel! My Mom wants to be called "Yaya" and we are not Greek... She says she doesn't feel old enough to be called grandma. But honestly she is jealous that my aunts grandkids call her "Chacha" ( which they came up with completely on their own ) and she doesn't want to be the only "grandma" in the family. If my husband and I don't tell our child to call her "Yaya" then she has threatened to go against our wishes on rules we will have later on i.e. No food in the car, no drinks except water in the car, no sugar after certain hours etc...

This whole name yourself thing reminds me of Jr. High School when you wanted to have the "cool" nickname so you named yourself. Lame

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