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August 2016 Moms
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A question - telling my parents ***tw cancer***

charmedlifex3charmedlifex3 member
in August 2016 Moms
I needed some other opinions on this. 

Normally I would want to wait until 10 - 12 weeks to tell people - And most people I will. But with Christmas coming up it seems like a good time to tell at least our immediate families. 

Here is the catch - My grandmother died on Christmas, Dec 25, 25 years ago to the day this Christmas. My Dad took it hard then, and Christmas has always been a really difficult time in our family. We have stopped celebrating at all on the 25th, and celebrate on the 24th, because it was too painful for him to celebrate the day of her death. 

A part of me says - maybe this will help him create different associations - more positive ones- with Christmas. We plan on, if the baby is a girl, naming her after my Grandmother, so it seems like a fitting time. 

The rest of me says - Christmas is never good at our house. No one is happy, there is always anger, grief, bitterness. I worry that what should be a happy announcement will be clouded by my Dad being an ass. And really it IS early, I will only be about 7 weeks ... maybe we should just wait?

If it were just my mom, I would tell her at Christmas, (even early) but I worry it will be disrespectful of his grief. Especially since this is a milestone year, and my mother JUST beat the cancer she died of, I am sure it will be on his mind. 

Thoughts?









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Re: A question - telling my parents ***tw cancer***

  • StephLouise35StephLouise35 member
    Hi,

    I see you're in a bit of a bind. Personally I would decide against it, as it seems like a very touchy time. Especially with all the sad associations. I would say let it be the Christmas it is and save it for a later date. I will also be 7 weeks at Christmas. EDD 9/8/16 but DH and I decided that it was a little too early, so instead we're going to announce it at exactly 13 weeks, or if we can, leave it until Feb 14. Which is ALWAYS a loving time so everyone would already be happy and make the day even better! But that's just my personal opinion.

    I honestly can't understand the struggle you're going through but, sending all the best kind of wishes and prayers. Good luck! X
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  • ramoseecologyramoseecology member
    Personally I would also avoid the 25th based on the information you gave. I"d pick the 24th or a date later than the 25th. 

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  • alwayshugalwayshug member
    Maybe announce on New Year's? That could be fun!
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  • Jessi46291Jessi46291 member
    I agree with the other comments. Wait until a happier time.
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  • DragonMom2DragonMom2 member
    I agree with everyone... New Years would be an exciting time to announce, or even Valentines day if you can wait that long.
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  • ThePax89ThePax89 member
    Is your baby the first grandchild?

    I'd maybe go ahead and tell them. I like the idea of changing negative associations.
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  • charmedlifex3charmedlifex3 member
    They are also leaving for Florida the following week, so anything after would be long distance. 

    I like the idea of telling them on Christmas eve, I think that may be a fair compromise... Hopefully some of the glow will carry over into a happier Dec 25th. 

    Yes, this is the first grandchild. :)



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  • andrea0418andrea0418 member
    ThePax89 said:

    Is your baby the first grandchild?

    I'd maybe go ahead and tell them. I like the idea of changing negative associations.

    I agree. Especially since this is their first grandchild. Hopefully this will change the negativity. And next year they will have a little baby to play with on Christmas!
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