Dreading announcing your pregnancy to your boss?

vtulch · December 2015

I'm dreading telling my bosses that I'm pregnant because I just returned from a one year maternity leave in November. I'm trying to keep this pregnancy hidden for as long as I can, I was hoping until I'm about 14 weeks. Unfortunately I'm not sure it'll be possible as one of my bosses is leaving on vacation next week for 5 weeks. Should I get it over with and tell them both at 11 weeks or should I just announce to one of my bosses while the other one is on vacation? Best case scenario they'll congratulate me and hate me on the inside. What would you do?

Anyone else not looking forward to make the announcement to their boss?

blackgirlmagic · December 2015

Apart of me would want to kill two birds with one stone and tell them both at the same time, that way you won't have to go through it twice. I am also not looking forward to telling my boss but that is just because I am not a big fan of them. I am doing an FB announcement on Christmas and then when I come back to the office on Wednesday I was going to tell my coworkers I am close with and then I will tell my boss after they know. My husband wanted me to tell her weeks ago but I told him that she does not need to know that soon. Good luck with you decision!

addyplusone · December 2015

Yeah. My boss is actually my future mil's boyfriend. Which makes it slightly better. But I am one of 3 on the counter. The one guy just left for his leave from having a baby and will be gone for 3 wks. The other guy (my future bil) will be gone February - March for his baby being born. And then me leaving mid July-august (our busiest months) will be an added stress for him... so I'm a little nervous!

mckcak23 · December 2015

Personally I would not tell until they get back from vacation, but that's just me. I am dreading telling my boss because I just started my job at the end of Aug. The nice thing is that I would a school schedule so I am off work when the baby is due. Though the twist in the story is that I applied for a position as an executive director not expecting to hear anything about it, and I had my interview yesterday. I did not tell them thinking that there would be a second interview during which I could tell, turns out there will not be a second interview and they are just going to decide. It is a small social service center with only 3 employees and no HR department so we will see what happens

. But personally I would not tell early just to fit into someone else's schedule, tell when you want.

stephweinstein · December 2015

I am so nervous to tell my boss. We have a small team in a large company and what we do is really complicated. She is going to fly off the handle and say something snarky. I'm 30YO and I have a 2YO. The writing is written on the wall, darling.

applebottomgenes · December 2015

It is pretty customary to wait until at least 12 weeks, so it wouldn't be unheard of if you just told the one boss. You couldn't be aware of vacation plans when you were making baby, don't sweat it.

I am definitely dreading because yesterday my immediate boss said 'you better not get pregnant again.' We just lost a position on our team so it's just me and her now, and I do most of the 'grunt work' that she would need to do while I am out. She also had a really bad experience with my temp maternity leave last time. So after she gets back from her tropical holiday vacation I get to share that news...
And yes, what she said was highly illegal, but we have a relationship where I said back 'stop forcing me to go to HR on you.' And then we laugh awkwardly.

TiffRox81 · December 2015

Just my thought, but I think I'd wait if I were you. You can always use the excuse of wanting to make sure everything checked out ok throughout the first trimester AND wanting to talk to each of them personally!!

I am super, super dreading telling my two bosses. We're a small financial firm. I've been here almost 6 years and they LOVE me. And rely on me too much as it is. My coworker was just let go for poor performance, so right now it's myself and our receptionist that's been here 4 months. We're looking for a third person but in our industry time served is very meaningful. I know they're going to freak out. I don't see happiness being the first reaction. Sorry guys, you'll actually have to work instead of taking 6 vacations a year!!!

HMcDade1 · December 2015

You never know- your boss may be way more receptive and understanding once you tell them. My boss found out when I was only three weeks - totally NOT my ideal situation but I'm a nurse and I was exposed to meningitis and had to tell her in the middle of the night for health reasons essentially. She replied with a my lips are sealed and congrats, now I'm just over 10 weeks and she hasn't brought it up or treated me any differently about it. Try and stay positive ?

Pankers · December 2015

Go with you gut feeling. I'm dreading telling mine. They are just about to do a major reshuffle and I get a bigger team and change bosses.....hmmm "hi, so glad to be in your team but I'll be leaving you in the lurch in 7 months!"

jlgriff11 · December 2015

My boss was one of the first people we told, because she's awesome and since my position needs to be covered by someone else if I'm out, have an appointment, or whatever else might come up, I wanted to be totally up front with them. I didn't want to call off sick and take four doctors appointments, and then they might wonder what I'm doing with all that time off.

vtulch · December 2015

Thank you all for your advice I think I'll wait until I'm 14 weeks! One of my coworkers actually stopped at my desk today and whispered "you're glowing, are you pregnant??" I had to lie

I'm still in shock!

hwal98 · December 2015

You aren't obligated to tell anyone until you are comfortable, and of course you have to tell them at some point so they can handle the situation while you are off, but I don't think telling them separately or together matters, it's about how you feel. You can't help that you want to wait until you are 14 weeks pregnant, and your boss is off for 5 weeks. It is what it is!

soberkfell · December 2015

I started my job in August, and I just found out that the other person who does the same job as me and would essentially be covering for me while I'm on leave is also pregnant... and is due 3 days after me. So there's that. I'm going to try to be the first to tell our boss in January, so that my co-worker can have the joy of telling her that our entire function will be out for 12 weeks. I've known my boss for several years - she recruited me from our prior employer - so I know I shouldn't be nervous to tell her, it's just not an ideal situation. But, she knows that DH and I have been trying since last August, so it was bound to happen sometime!

TiffRox81 · December 2015

Oh man this sounds very similar to my situation! I feel for you!! At least your boss is female. I think that should help. My two bosses are both male, salesmen. I'm not sure they're going to get it, lol.

slorbets · December 2015

I was super nervous to tell my male boss I was pregnant as I just started my job in September. I told him when I was 6 weeks pregnant because I felt better about not hiding it from him, as he was eventually going to find out anyway. I also wanted to let him know so that he wasn't wondering why I would be going to many appointments or taking random sick days.

Although I was super nervous to tell him, he was actually very supportive. I am glad I got it out of the way, rather than worrying for weeks about it for nothing. Ladies, just go ahead and tell your boss...most likely the result will not be as bad as you thought and you will no longer have to stress over it (which isn't good for the baby). Good luck!

foxa319 · December 2015

I'm in the same boat op! I started my job oct of last year and found out I was pregnant my first week there! I had ds June 6th and was out on maternity leave til October. Now am due July 9th and want to take 16 weeks and go back part time after! My boss is great but I honestly kinda feel bad! I'm a home infusion nurse and cover a territory so when I am out its a real inconvienence to the rest of my team! Oh well sorry everyone! family first!

trucksntutus · December 2015

The convenience of telling them both is definitely appealing, but If you don't feel comfortable telling them yet, you're not obligated to. You don't need to work around their schedule when it comes to announcing your pregnancy. Personally I told my boss when I was 9 weeks and she was incredibly excited and happy for me. Tell them when it feels right babe!

mwhitley6 · December 2015

Im with you on dreading telling my boss! There's been a bad case of baby fever going around my workplace so I'll actually be the 14th pregnant employee at the moment, and the 4th in my department. With all the pregnancies at work, tons of people have been joking that I'm next.... to which my boss always responds "you better not be! Don't drink the kool aid" etc. I just might be the pregnancy that pushes him over the edge!!!

I'm going to wait until after 12 weeks to tell. If I were you I'd maybe just tell the boss that isn't on vacation when you're ready? I can't see anyone having an issue with that, and doesn't seem right for you to have to share your news before you're comfortable, just to work around someone's vacation.

fleurdelakeview · December 2015

So I ended up telling my boss this morning (I felt like I had to after running out of a session to vomit!) and it couldn't have gone better. She was extremely supportive and excited and had none of the negative reactions I was afraid of. I'm not going to tell my coworkers until after my 12 week dr appt but it is such a huge relief now that the cat is out of the bag with my boss

JM8384 · January 2016

I'm 11 weeks and have my genetic screening appointment during the work day on January 14th. My family is bursting at the seams to spread the news which I told them will have to wait until Saturday when I hit the 12 week mark..my job isn't actually the most supportive place to work so I am dreading the thought but need to put my sick time request in..also want to tell them before the rest of my friends and family find out..luckily I have had no morning sickness but my uniform is getting too tight i can hardly wear it! Any advice?

carrieandr · January 2016

I'm a freelance graphic designer and I'm really scared to tell my clients. I can't take maternity leave because they would have to drop me and hire someone else. I'm going to take a two week vacation and do my best to keep up with everything after that. I know that will make them nervous. (It makes me nervous.) There is one client in particular -- a large corporate one -- that I fear might drop me. I don't think there are rules regarding firing freelancers for being pregnant. I'm not an employee. P.S. When I got pregnant in February (MMC), my biggest client randomly decided to switch to a different design firm after 3 years. I was stunned and said, "I'm six weeks pregnant." He said, "Oh, good timing, then." Umm...no. Losing most of your income right after finding out you are pregnant is TERRIBLE timing. Not all of us can afford to be SAHM's.

TiffRox81 · January 2016

@CarrieandRoy Oh man that's tough!! On one hand you're your own boss, and that's cool! But I guess if it's a cut throat business that's not too cool. Do you work from home? Is it feasibly possibly to balance the baby and your work? I remember speaking with a few friends that are hairdressers. Mine in particular. She said she took 3 weeks and that was it! Any longer and people would have bailed!!

sami1784 · January 2016

I told my boss a few days after I my BFP, because she could tell I wasn't feeling well. I work in an Extension Office for a university, so there's only 4 of us in this county's office (including myself), so we work in fairly close quarters, and my constant status of "green around the gills" wasn't going to be easy to hide at all.

JM8384 · January 2016

I work in the public sector and my main fear is telling my female boss..she has no spouse no pets not close with her family. .no other commitments other than her job of 38 years..she gives us a hard time for everything even using earned time off..but on the positive side telling her may ease my anxiety when it comes to using sick time

DobbysSock · January 2016

I had been putting it off because a couple of permanent positions had come up (I'm currently casual) and I was hoping to get a shot at them. My mom put pressure on me to be up front with them because she thought it wasn't fair to get hired and then tell them. She actually said "Well, I wouldn't want to hire a pregnant woman". I told her that's exactly why I wasn't telling, and that it's a good thing she's not in a hiring position because she would probably get sued. I honestly don't see anything wrong with keeping my medical information private. Plus, I'm 28 with an almost 2 year old - obviously they know there's a high likelihood I'll have another child at some point.

I have low seniority so unfortunately didn't get a chance at an interview, so I just told my manager the other day. Her reaction was super surprising! She was excited and congratulated me, and then said "Ok! We need to get you into a position so you can get your full maternity leave!" And started telling me about various positions that are coming up (she doesn't actually have any control over that - I'm unionized so if a qualified person with more seniority applies she can't bypass them to give me an interview). She's since been scheduling me with tons of training shifts to get me orientated to other departments so I can pick up more work (and have a better chance if a position comes up in those departments). I'll pretty much be working full-time hours for the next while which is awesome. So either way I'll at least get a decent amount of maternity EI from the government, even if I don't get my top up (my union tops up our government EI to almost 100% of your usual wages for the first half of your maternity leave, but only if you're a permanent employee).

leela20999 · January 2016

Dreading it as well. Have to either today or tomorrow as im starting to show and my husband is dying to tell people. Only my parents and his fam knows. Im 12 weeks 4 days. Im nervous because its a small office and theres alot of work on my plate and i dont want pressure to come back before i want to.
I remember one of the ladies here..her son owns the place said to me oh when u have a baby u can bring it here and you can take care of it here. I was like um no. I barely have time to pee or take a break let alone take care of a newborn.

LinzerBinzer · January 2016

I'm 12 weeks and still holding out. I'm looking at changing roles internally and don't want this to get in the way. If I get an offer I'll probably tell them before or as I verbally accept. I'd want to know their reaction before finalizing the move - it will tell me a lot about my new boss!

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