From a Husband! (Seriously!!) (w/ a new story!)

bdh122 · December 2015

Hi all, I am actually one of the husbands (crazy right?!) of one of the posters on this board. She can expose me as her spouse if she cares to do so, but I will leave it up to her! This is my first post, I have lurked for awhile. But I think it is time to just say a few words on a couple different pages. Two things: 1) I admire you all for your dedication, strength, perseverance through adversity and passion in this process. (Naturally, I especially admire the strength of my beautiful wife, who has tried so hard to stay positive throughout the past many months!) I speak for all of your DH's that may not say it enough, that deep down we know how hard it is, and wish we could make things easy, or better, or less stressful. Men (most of them) don't vocalize these things, but I wanted to say something as I read many of your stories and know how much you mean to your men! 2) As much as your DH may not show it, they see your struggles, and see it as you both struggling together. They feel the pressures to some extent too, and it isn't easy. They want you happy, they want to be happy with you as a team, and things don't always go according to plan. So, my advice: don't be afraid to give them a hug and a kiss for no reason at all, just to tell them you love them! It goes a very long way, I promise! All the best to you all, Brian

NordyMN89 · December 2015

Thanks for making me tear up at work! Nice to hear from a DH and always important for us to remember that while you all may not know exactly how we feel that you are still feeling things and it's important to support one another.

Such a sweet post, thanks Brian! @bdh122

ShayLatrice · December 2015

bdh122 Thank you so much for taking the time out to write this. I'm sure your wife is a very lucky and happy woman to have such a thoughtful guy. This is a much needed reminder that DH has his own struggle within this IVF process and much of his struggle is wishing I didn't have to go through this. Awesome post!!

PCOSbaby · December 2015

I'm so glad I'm not the only one to tear up. Thank you so much for sharing your point of view. What an awesome lunch time treat...

LizzieJ13 · December 2015

Thank you, this is such a sweet post! Going to give my husband a big hug when I get home.

emsmama15 · December 2015

Thank you so much for the reminder Brian. Sometimes I lose sight of my hubby's struggle in this fight.

erica0901 · December 2015

I'll claim @bdh122 as mine

bdh122 · December 2015

@erica0901 - Oh hey! I know you! Ur my wife! I love you!

ShayLatrice · December 2015

Sooooo cute!!

PCOSbaby · December 2015

Super cute! Well wishes on this crazy IF journey!

bdh122 · December 2015

I appreciate all the positive vibes on this thread, and the others where I posted this comment. I wanted to post for myself, but also for all of you! Wish you all the absolute best!

mtpbadger · December 2015

Thank you so much for posting! It's good to remember that our spouses are on this journey with us, even though they don't have to take the meds or inject themselves, they are just as part of the process as we are.

mskeenan · December 2015

This post is so adorable! Thank you so much for sharing a man's perspective! My husband has been my rock through all of this but I know it's hard for him to express this stuff! erica0901 is a lucky woman!!!

ColeM91 · December 2015

Tears streaming. Thank you for such kind words of DH's. It's so nice to hear from a spouses point of view. I know my DH gets lost on what to say as I go through this. Very thoughtful and much appreciated.

bdh122 · December 2015

Story Time! Hope it makes you smile as we all go through these things!

So.... I had to drop off my "sample" this morning to the specialists office for a semen analysis.

It was my cup in a brown paper bag. Very Romantic. Quite awkward to begin with!

But I walk in, and the office is FILLED with serious looking, very quiet people in the waiting room (after all, it's a fertility specialist's office, and it was 7:30am).

So, being the "wannabe comedian" that I am, or at least someone who likes to make light of things and make people smile... I walk up to the counter... and announce: "Hi, I'm Brian, I am dropping off my Hanukkah present for Dr. Freedman!"

The whole room: the patients, the nurses, they all burst out laughing... Made my day! I hope it makes yours or at least makes you smile!

ErikaMG · December 2015

@bdh122 - HAHAHAHA! Thanks for the laugh. Sounds like something my own DH would say.... it's definitely important to keep a sense of humor during this journey.

ultratomato · December 2015

@bdh122 I feel that we all need a good laugh once in awhile.

plumeria05 · December 2015

Wow - this was sweet and comforting to hear from the other side. Thank you.

KidShrink · December 2015

Good one! And it's definitely nice to see the male perspective. MH was always pretty open about his feelings and does like to joke around too. At our GP appointment where we discussed starting fertility testing, the doctor aas explaining to my husband he had to take his sample within an hour (we technically live 30 min from there, but in morning rush hour, it can easily go above an hour). So my husband and the GP (who is obviously gay) started joking about how doing it in his car in the parking lot could an alternative. That was interesting! And when he dropped his sample for our first IUI, he made sure to text me 'The eagle has landed. I repeat, the eagle has landed.' It was pretty funny. And yes, PLEASE, keep some humor into all this...it can all so easily become a drag.

mtpbadger · December 2015

That is too funny! As I was lying on the table for an IUI, my hubby asked the nurse if anyone had ever fallen asleep during the procedure....umm, sorry hunny, with your legs in the stirrups and a speculum in is not the most comfortable. That made them laugh and then he started humming "the final countdown" as they were getting everything ready and putting the catheter in...he's one of a kind!

@KidShrink, my dh sends me a silly text after his part too and once told me he saw the sperm that would become our future son swimming around the container, lol!

mskeenan · December 2015

Aha !!! This made me laugh . Luckily my RE has a good sense of humor too . When he was giving my husband instructions on when to bring in his sample he said "alright buddy your time to shine . Unfortunately there will be no understudies in this act ! " ridiculous !!! Def good to have a sense of humor in all this mess

wifeinraleigh28 · December 2015

This made me laugh and reminded me of my DH as well. When we dropped off his specimen for our last IUI (at 8am) he made a joke about starting his day off right and had everyone in the office laughing

ShayLatrice · December 2015

LOLOLOL! That is awesome!

Caroline351 · December 2015

Brian! Your wife is SUPER lucky! I teared up reading your post.

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