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"Just wait until..." -article attached

Bellarose212Bellarose212 member
edited December 2015 in September 2015 Moms
A friend of mine recently posted on Facebook that she was having a hard time with the 4 month sleep regression. I was shocked to see over 20 comments from other mothers all saying "just you wait" and "you'll never sleep again". How is this helpful? I felt so angry for my friend! I have no advice because my little one is only 3 months old, but I still offered words of encouragement (one day at a time, you will sleep again, this will pass, etc.). But I can't help but feel so angry when other mothers do this. Yes FTM's have a lot to learn, but saying just wait until (insert difficult baby phase here) happens is NEVER helpful! Do you ladies agree?

https://www.momstimeout.com/the-meanest-thing-you-can-say-to-a-new-mom/
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Re: "Just wait until..." -article attached

  • xJKxORxJKxOR member
    I hate when people do this! We have close friends who did this to me my entire pregnancy! "Just wait for no sleep" "just wait until you're a milk factory" "just wait for..." It was so discouraging during the most exciting time of our lives.
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  • jasminelukejasmineluke member
    YES! I got this throughout my pregnancy. I promised with my husband that we would never say that or act like that around other new moms. It is so discouraging. If you don't have anything encouraging to say don't say anything at all! I feel like it comes from overworked and disgruntled moms!
    We have all been there and we all have been sleep deprived at some point - no need to spread your negative energy !
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  • chelseajeanenechelseajeanene member
    I don't get the negativity either. It's like they can't wait for newer moms to suffer since they had a tough time with whatever the topic is
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  • ImanganImangan member
    My baby had colic - and screamed non stop- do you know what people said "this is the easy bit , enjoy it while you can" it only gets worse from here. On some of my lowest days I've never been so keen to tell them how much their helpful advice saved my day!!
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  • BrandiLaw87BrandiLaw87 member
    Imangan said:

    My baby had colic - and screamed non stop- do you know what people said "this is the easy bit , enjoy it while you can" it only gets worse from here.

    That's just stupid. Those people clearly have never had a colicky baby and are lucky you didn't clock them when they said it.

    I think there are two types of people; those who say "just wait until" and are trying to be well meaning and those who are know it all moms trying to drag you down. Either way it can be annoying as hell especially when you just want to vent.
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  • TabulaRasa25TabulaRasa25 member
    As a first time mom, but not a particularly young mom (and a mom whose professional background is in education and developmental psychology, so not a person uninformed about the stages of human development, by any means), I really get teeth gritty about people who condescend to me because they had a child or children before I did.  

    Yes, I already understand quite a bit, due to my line of work and loads of experience with children across the developmental stages.  Yes, I realize that raising a child is different than working with and/or teaching children. But the whole, "knowing" attitude and "just you wait, you're in for a rude awakening" approach has struck me as so obnoxious. 

    I waited a long time to have a baby.  I wasn't sure I COULD have a baby.  I'm delighted, I readily embrace the challenges, and, yes, I KNEW it wouldn't be easy.  When I answer honestly when people ask me how it's going, or when I go to someone with a question, somebody getting smirky and playing the "Just you wait, you didn't know what you were getting yourself into, did you?" card is so not helpful. Try being supportive of new moms, rather than being all, "You'll never sleep again, wait and see, you haven't even BEGUN the hard stuff yet," etc. I don't get why it's necessary to be such a negative, self-satisfied snot. 
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  • alyjmacalyjmac member
    I'm starting school in January (online) and have a very good baby. Sleeps well at night, plays well on his own, has an afternoon nap each day. When telling people this they discourage me by saying "Jusy wait until he's moving, you won't have any time to do school." Like ughh, thanks for the encouragement?
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  • ElleMF728ElleMF728 member
    I never say this, I agree it isn't helpful...but I do think it. I don't think of it so much as being negative as I do managing expectations. I know mine where way, way off before I had DS1.  I was convinced that he was going to STTN by 12 weeks, that he would take wonderful 2 hour naps several times a day and breastfeed like a champ. Needless to say, none of those things happened. I kept thinking something was wrong or that I was doing something wrong.

    Support comes in different forms.  A mom saying "it will get better" is supportive but IMO so is a mom who says "my kid sleeps like crap too".  I don't think it is so much wanting someone else to struggle as it is wanting someone else to be able to understand your struggles. "Oh your baby is allergic to sleeping past 4 am? So is mine! Lets have coffee and cry about it together!" 


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  • ElleKHElleKH member
    @xJKxOR - My MIL actually calls me a milk factory!  Right to my face and in front of our son.  "Hey Benjamin, here comes the milk factory!"  Gee thanks, Mom...
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  • mrsbaczmrsbacz member
    My MIL came over this morning and did this exact thing. My husband was just talking about how much time he spends with the baby to feed him, entertain him, etc. And my MIL goes, "HA! You think it is now, just wait until he's walking." Her other famous line is, "Oh please, I know, I did it three times!" All that on top of telling me how to feed and burp my baby, this one hour visit felt like an eternity. I just keep reminding myself how much I love my husband haha.
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