Week Old Breastfeeding great, but dislikes Dad

littlebitmom · December 2015

My husband has been amazing with our week old daughter. I think I might have changed 3 diapers total. He holds her, rocks her and loves this little girl so much.

I've been breastfeeding successfully since the first moments. Every 2 hours without fail she nurses. It's fine, I love the bonding and so far painless!

Here's our problem. When my husband takes a night shift for me to sleep, she cries for 2 hours straight. Like nothing stops her until he gives her to me. It is breaking his heart. So I pumped enough for a bottle tonight just so he could feed her and I thought that would solve the problem. Nope. She took the bottle and went right back to screaming until just now when my 2 hours was up. Gives her to me, she instantly stops. I am ready to throw in the towel on breastfeeding just because she won't attach to him and it is upsetting to us

tracij12 · December 2015

Sorry to hear that is happening. I will be honest I think that is a silly reason to give up breastfeeding at such a young age. It is not abnormal for a baby to have such a strong preference for mom at this age and I don't think that is any indication that they dislike dad. They've been inside you for all this time and that is what is comfortable to them. If YH is so good with baby and continues spending that time the bond will come. Have you tried giving him a shirt or something that smells like you that he can use during that time? Continue to give YH positive reinforcement and make sure he knows it's not anything he is doing wrong. Your little one is trying to adjust to life on the outside!

NurseRieger · December 2015

Don't quit now. A week old baby relies on scent and sound and already knows mom. Moms voice and scent are always the favorite of a newborn. Try wearing one of DH's tee shirts all day then have him wear it when you sleep and he has LO. It could work, otherwise just give it time. BFing babies are able to bond with fathers and other family members too. They just know they need mom in the beginning.

KatieSetler · December 2015

I don't think that she DISLIKES daddy, so much as that she is wanting you. Like PP said, it's most likely your smell-- babies can smell their mother's breastmilk, and can differentiate between other lactating women. Also, the bumps around your areola secrete a scent that matches amniotic fluid. When my 2-week-old is feeling particularly fussy or needy, she only wants me to hold her. It's tough, but you can stick it out, mama!

valerie1132 · December 2015

Please consider continuing to breastfeed! Of course your baby wants you more, you have boobs! Breastfeeding is about so much more than food; it's comfort, bonding, immunity, and a stress reliever (for you both!). You also might loose the instant calming effect you have on her by breastfeeding, thus making those crying episodes even more difficult.

Can your hubby take an evening or morning shift? Hate to say it but you're the one she wants at night, at first anyway, and you're going to miss out on some sleep for a bit. Can you nap during the day? That saved me!!! He can help you by getting her and changing her when she wakes up then giving her to you. Also, lots of dads like to do the bath as a bonding thing. He can also baby wear. There are lots of ways for him to bond and it's ok that they are different from your ways of bonding.

I know you are tired and the first few weeks are tough but it doesn't last forever! And also-it's doesn't last forever!!!! Hold on to those moments and middle of the night feeds as long as you can, soon she'll be older and it will have flown by!

A&Lmommy · December 2015

She is probably comforted by the sucking, when she's not sucking, she has a tough time coping and relaxing. My daughter was a huge comfort sucker, even after she turned a year, she'd wake up at night to nurse multiple times. My husband wasn't able to put her back to sleep until she turned 2. I know she wasn't hungry, just wanted to nurse. My husband is very hands-on, but acknowledged that he would have the rest of her life to prove himself as the perfect father in her eyes. He knew that she just needed to be comfortable in those early days.
Just a couple suggestions. . . If you feed on demand, try having her suck on your pinky to relax once she's fed and full. It's something that your husband can do too. If that seems to calm her, try a pacifier. Also, just bouncing her, patting her diaper, swaddling her, tickling her forehead with your fingertips, white noise machines. Any or all of these can help soothe her. When she gets fussy, are you, momma, able to comfort her without nursing? If you stop nursing, you'll have to find something else that works to comfort her.

The days and nights are long but the months fly by!

ladythrice · December 2015

Remember that the first 12 weeks of a baby's life are often called "the fourth trimester." She doesn't know your husband, despite the fact that she's been around him for a week. For the past 40+weeks, she's only known you. Give her some time, tell your husband that his day will come, its just not right now. It is absolutely normal that she would crave your smell, comfort, and warmth because that is all she has known for the entirety of her life. Even if you stopped BFing, she would still prefer to him. BFing continues that preference, but trust me, it doesn't prevent your LO from bonding with your husband in time.

My son is now 1 year old and despite still nursing, has gone through phases where he has a clear preference for my husband. He has out-right rejected me to be held by Daddy. Tell your husband, his day will come.

nano1 · December 2015

Our daughter has been the same exact way. She was born early at 37wks and is just now (9wks) starting to be mellow with dad (and others) now that she's becoming more alert. She actually smiles more at him than me!

SmrBrd2012 · December 2015

This is 100% normal. Please don't stop breastfeeding over it! My H could rarely calm our LO for the first several weeks of his life. Things started improving greatly around 8-12 weeks.

Knottie4978096 · December 2015

This is very normal. They go through mommy-itis phases. Right now, my 6 month old neice is doing exactly the same thing, despite being baby sat by grandparents everyday. Mom is awesome, everyone else is "not the momma". It passes and just is what it is. It isn't personal, so don't stop breastfeeding and doing what needs to be done. Your husband's day will come and soon, they'll bond.

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