When the Doc says "and obviously...the less you gain the better"

KissOfApproval · December 2015

Ok...so maybe I took that a little out of context, but I asked my doctor yesterday at my 17 week check in how much weight gain I should be aiming for! I told her how I was already 25 pounds over my "lean mean fighting machine" body, which I was at just 2 years ago #MovedToTheSouth #NoSelfControl. I also told her how all of this makes me uncomfortable and scared to be pregnant when not at my ideal weight! ANYWHO.... I haven't gained but .5 pounds thus far and attribute that to eating really well! (Its not a crazy hardcore "diet"....but basically as much food as I want as long as its one of the following: vegetable, fruit, hummus, cottage cheese, lean protein, eggs, or the occasional slice of flax seed bread with peanut butter!) I also have been working out...but pretty basic gym light cardio light weights stuff!!

So when I told her all that I was doing....and how in the past this recipe makes me lose weight... she said "ok thats all fine. Obviously....the less you gain the better... lets say 19 more pounds. A little over .5lb a week"

So now i have a number in my head and I feel obsessive! Any other overweight peeps have a number the doctor told them to stick to?? how are you tracking yourself? I know stepping on the scale everyday is a bad idea... but also feel the need to know how Im doing and keep myself motivated. how do you track .8 pounds of weight gain a week through the end of pregnancy? seems hard and totally unreasonable! especially knowing in the end you will gain more than in the beginning?

so ya...thats where Im at right now...Any help or stories from previous pregnancies are totally appreciated!!! And sorry if i sound like a crazy person.... I just drank my cup of half caff

lets just blame it one that!!

countrygrl5533 · December 2015

I don't track. I let my body do what it needs to do. I watch the sweets intake (I have a wicked sweet tooth) and try to get some exercise in when I can (yes, it gets a lot harder to do when you already have a child and are just so tired). As long as you are staying healthy with the eating and exercise there really is no need for you to track your weight yourself. Just let the doc do that for you since you are there every month then every other week then once a week eventually. Really, don't stress over it. Being obsessive about this is not a healthy thing for you. You're already doing the right things so just stick with doing the right things.

araecasey · December 2015

I'm overweight, and would be completely appalled if my midwife told me what your doc told you. There's no ideal number of weight gain for anybody. I agree that controlling your weight at that level is unreasonable. Eat well, move your body, drink to thirst, get some rest, and you'll be fine!

kbrands7 · December 2015

My doctor said that if I wanted to weight myself between appointments, to weigh in weekly at the same time. I weigh-in on my ticker change days in the morning before breakfast.

I'm considered overweight by BMI, but I have a muscular build. Anyway, my doctor really isn't concerned about my weight gain since I have a generally healthy diet and I exercise. My personal goal is to try to stick to around 20-25lbs. Last pregnancy I gained A LOT in the second and third trimesters because, though I was eating healthy things, I ate constantly. I'm really hoping that doesn't happen this time only because it took me around 8 months to get back to my ideal weight. So far, so good this time since I've felt more thirsty than hungry and I have a toddler to chase around.

swflJD · December 2015

I agree with @countrygrl5533. If you're already obsessing about the number on the scale, don't weight yourself (you'll find out how you're doing at your appointments, which will become increasingly more frequent). I had an accident about a year ago and was in the hospital for several weeks and on bedrest for a while after that, so I put on some weight. I was already about 10-15 pounds heavier than my ideal weight before I got pregnant. I know it's hard not to obsess over the numbers on the scale when you already weren't happy with where you were at, but just remember that this is temporary and that you should be gaining weight right now. My doctor wants me to gain about a pound a week, which is hard for me to accept, but I keep telling myself that I can take it off plus the other 10-15 after LO gets here. Try not to stress too much over it because you don't have to keep the weight on forever.

KissOfApproval · December 2015

@countrygrl5533 sweet tooth!!! um yes!!! Im over here like.....Give me all the sour patch kids pleeeeassee!!! haha but the sad truth is...avoiding sugar (and most things white!) is really my key to successfully managing my weight! and Yes...i think you are right...waiting for my monthly/soon to be bi monthly/weekly checkins at the doctor is probably best! I will just keep doing what Im doing...and try my best not to think about how i should be tracking those .8 pounds weekly!!! (totally ridiculous...I should have just trusted myself..and NOT asked!)

@araecasey Ya....i wasn't too offended in the office (i kind of thought she was being nice and saying that Its possible (and healthy) for me not to gain a lot...but once i got home I was like....ughhhhhh??????? WHAT DID THAT EVEN MEAN?? was it really necessary to put a weekly goal on there?? And 19lbs...? that could potentially be setting me up for failure! Not good!

KissOfApproval · December 2015

@kbrands7 yes....Im pretty much the same... muscular build....overweight by bmi. And thats really interesting about your diet being good...but just eating too much!! Probably exactly what I needed to hear right now!! and ummmm....8 months??!! That seems like a totally successful timeframe for returning to your normal weight!!

@swflJD I do have to remind myself this isnt permanent! Ive always been able to lose weight before...i just gotta be patient and wait till pregnancy is over! Its just that I have all the time in the world right now (with no little one!) to focus on myself.... which is clearly good...and bad! I think I might need more hobbies!

TXmamatobe · December 2015

I'm not too worried about it and my doc hasn't given me a number to stay within. If he did, however, I would take it as his professional advice and try to stay within that goal.

I will say this - you will feel better for so much longer if you take healthy measures to keep your weight in check (that could mean different things for different people). With my first I wasn't completely strict but I tried to reign everything in and I felt pretty great until the last few weeks. I've had friends who did the opposite and were already miserable at the midway point.

hellogoodbye2 · December 2015

With my first pregnancy my doc told me to try and gain 5-10lbs total. I was really worried, but after awhile I just let my body do what it needed to do. I gained 16lbs total and my doc was really happy with that number.

This time my doc basically said to try to do what I did last time.

KissOfApproval · December 2015

@hellogoodbye2 Ok...first of all...i cant get over that profile pic!!! that is unbelievably adorable!!! and yes i suppose just letting baby do what its gonna do is the best advice I can get!!! I'll do all im supposed to do....and just let baby do its thang!!! hahaha

jessiedee13 · December 2015

I lose weight when pregnant. We thought it was due to the crazy nausea I had, but this time I don't have it and I'm still down 20lbs! I keep a food journal to make sure I am in fact eating enough, that I don't forget to eat (sounds crazy, but with my own young ones, ages 2 and 1 plus the 4yo and 2yo I babysit, I've discovered it happens), and that I'm eating healthy. I'm over weight to begin with, so I don't need to be gaining a ton right now, but losing isn't a goal either of course. Mt food journal saved me in my other 2 pregnancies to keep myself on a good track, since once I start gaining, it comes fast.

amscape · December 2015

Mine told me either 20-25 or 25-30, I can't actually remember. I decided not to weigh at home. The once a month at the dr is going to have to be enough! I can obsess but for what? I'm doing fine although certainly could cut back the sweets... After the holidays

hellogoodbye2 · December 2015

KissOfApproval said:

@hellogoodbye2 Ok...first of all...i cant get over that profile pic!!! that is unbelievably adorable!!! and yes i suppose just letting baby do what its gonna do is the best advice I can get!!! I'll do all im supposed to do....and just let baby do its thang!!! hahaha

Haha not my baby, but thanks! I just picked a cute baby picture online :-) Anyway, I wouldn't be upset with what your doctor said. Most doctors these days give some sort of weight gain range based on your pre-pregnancy weight. I think as long as you continue your good eating habits and mild exercise you will be just fine! I like to weigh myself pretty often, but that's just to make sure I'm staying on track...not to obsess about it!

townsley2015 · December 2015

This really hits home with me, I had a similar experience with my first pregnancy. At my first appt with the OB clinic the nurse said I needed to only gain about 15lbs total, she was really firm about it and really drove home due to my "increased bmi" that I needed to limit my weight gain.

That stayed with me throughout my whole pregnancy and caused many a meltdowns after I had to weigh myself. To be honest it kindof kept me from enjoying my pregnancy, and looking back there was so much to enjoy (lucky for me I get a second chance to to do better and enjoy)!

So I guess what I'm saying is try not to let it ruin all the great moments that are ahead of you. As long as your diet it good and you're getting some exercise that's all you can do! Enjoy!!!

sosweet487 · December 2015

I was a little sensitive during my last visit with my doctor. So far during this pregnancy I have gained about 1lb. I am a little overweight but not too bad. My doctor said something along the lines of, "Well... weight is not ideal. We don't want you to be gaining too much."

KissOfApproval · December 2015

sosweet487 said:

"Well... weight is not ideal. We don't want you to be gaining too much."

ya.....i feel like thats the same sort of odd ball comment my doctor made! Im not sure if they really think about our psychology much?!! like...hello im hormonal...and overweight...and gaining....and you gotta say weight gain is not ideal? hmmmmmm???

laurenmdrn16 · December 2015

My OB and MFM specialist have been pretty hands off as far as my weight goes (probably because my HG and lack of appetite have caused me to lose almost 20lbs so far!) but sometimes my OB will make light comments about my flabby tummy, especially when trying to use doppler to find the baby's HB. I think because I started it by saying, before ever lifting my shirt, "Oh, and I think you will be really impressed with the tummy-tuck I got with my last CS" only to reveal a super lumpy, bumpy, bowl-full-of-jelly belly.

But sometimes I am not in the mood. Like at my last appointment she tried to joke about having to lift my flab up to get the doppler in there and was met with icy silence. I had had a really tough time finding underpants that day and was on day 47 of no-sex so I was not into light-hearted self-deprecating banter. I think OBs have to be very careful to take their patients' feelings and potential insecurities into account. Our bodies are out of control right now and everything else in our lives is thrown up in the air. While I usually am the first to make a joke at my own expense (defense mechanism adopted from years and years of being the fat kid in school), I am finding I am not so receptive to other's comments about my changing body.

cortney626 · December 2015

I would just keep doing what you're doing. Sounds like you're making healthy choices. Each dr has advised me of gaining a certain amount. I'm just doing what's within my control...eating healthy and exercising.

jjroxtx · December 2015

laurenmdrn16: You are a saint!! I don't know what I would have said to that comment. My husband would have been cringing because I have a sharp tongue sometimes.

Even if you started it I can't believe she said that to you. You are absolutely right, we are going through enough in our own heads about the weird things our body is doing and don't need anyone else adding to it.

JennyS86 · December 2015

I'm glad to hear that it's not just my OB that says things like this. Last pregnancy, he said "wow, 6lbs this month. You don't want to do that every month." Actually, that was my goal for that month - I was 18 weeks with twins and had just hit my pre-preg weight.

This pregnancy, I talked with my sister-in-law, who is a dietitian. She helped me with small meals during my hardcore nausea/vomiting, and she gave me a weight target goal of 150-160 lbs. I started at 135lbs, and I'm 128 at almost 15 weeks. I like what many of you said in terms of not gaining 1 lb per week, but letting my body do my thing, and just keep an eye on weight. Part of me wants to gain as much weight now and less later because my last delivery was preterm. Has anyone done this?

KissOfApproval · December 2015

Ok ok...even though I said i wouldn't obsess...i continued to read up on this subject!! I came across this little tidbit on https://fittobepregnant.com/2013/08/30/healthy-weight-gain-during-pregnancy/ and thought it was perfect and everything I needed to hear!! Thought Id share for those of you in the same boat!!

Screen shot of the parts I found helpful!

drablnd · December 2015

My ob never told me how much weight to gain but told me about a website that imputs your pre pregnancy weight and how old you are and it tells you how much weight would be ideal. But the nurses for WIC were very vocal about weight. I'm considered obese for my height and bmi but when ever I tell people that they scoff and tell me I'm over exaggerating. I was told 10-15lbs was the max I should gain for my pregnancy which makes me feel awful because I'm already uncomfortable about my weight so I've been obsessive about how much I eat and everything I do. I'm 15 weeks and I've only gained two pounds but it's still upsetting watching the scale move up even more

JessicaB0627 · December 2015

The most important thing is that you're eating well. You can't really be upset with your doctor for giving you a goal when you initially asked her for one. I haven't even asked my doctor because I know I won't be able to stick to a very strict weight gain goal, but rather will do what I can to be healthy.

However, eating too little can also affect your child so I think doctors should be more careful about pregnant women obsessing over weight and not eating enough.
Fun fact of the day: Eating too little calories and being malnourished during pregnancy can cause your child to be born with low birth weight but leave them genetically predisposed to obesity and diabetes later in life. They have also found that this predisposition is passed on to the grandchildren of the malnourished pregnant woman, leaving her grandchildren predisposed to metabolic problems in their lifetime as well.

camillaandcarson · December 2015

If the scale is bothering you a lot, choose not to look and not to be told. If you are getting quality pre-natal care and are also doing what you can in your power to be healthy then let your body do its thing (because it will) without the added emotional stress.

KissOfApproval · December 2015

@jessicaB0627 yes! I cant be mad!! I asked!! lol and i honestly feel like she gave me a relatively low number to make me feel better?? (in an odd way!) like I dont have to gain a bunch! She may have said that knowing that gaining alot makes me uncomfortable??!! I did however decide to track my calories and macronutrients for a couple days to see and make sure im getting enough of what I need. I probably wont track all through pregnancy... but rather to get an idea of a meal plan or two that works and stick to it pretty close! with cheat meals and special treats allowed!

And thats VERY interested about the generational connection with obesity and diabetes! Id be interested in reading up on that!!

KissOfApproval · December 2015

@drablnd do you remember the name of the website?? I found one that showed me how many calories I should be consuming which was nice...gave me a base number...but then also said..really its not about calories...its about nutrients! lol

JessicaB0627 · December 2015

@KissOfApproval There are some scholarly articles on it but I think you can google it as well. It's really interesting!

babykasper · December 2015

I agree with @countrygrl5533 ... As long as you are doing the healthy things you need to be doing (and eating) you shouldn't be obsessing about weight gain! You're growing a baby! Lol

On the other hand... It's super easy to get sucked into the obsession! I've always been petite and in pretty great shape until about a year ago... Gained some weight. So I'm already upset about my weight even before we got pregnant. So now I'm just trying my best to be healthy! Although... I absolutely indulge in cravings when I want to! Everything in moderation!

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