Am I being too controlling?

MrsLeanMeanClean · December 2015

Lay of the land.... 32yo first baby, first grandchild... We live in a little house in England and my family is all in NY. I am flying home over Christmas and will have a shower given. Gifts for christmas are usually OK since we use space to bring ones over and repack our gifts. For our wedding we had a small registry at a department store in the UK but most people just gave us cash knowing the situation.

So baby shower... taking lots via plane or shipping is just financially stupid. I will be getting myself new luggage from LLbean so will have one big bag to fill. I have registered at nikkis diapers for my OS CDS and would prefer I get all this to bring home with me. Otherwise my only registry is on amazon.co.uk and is mostly little things like carriera and toys since we will be buying our ikea cot etc and MIL the pram.

Does it sound like I am being too pushy directing to Nikkis diapers or the UK amazon (no customs and much less shipping from there)?

VOR · December 2015

If people ask "where are you registered" and you answer, no big deal. or if they are listed on the invitation, no big deal.

But if you're stating to people "ONLY buy from here. Anything else will be a PITA" - THAT would be too controlling.

And after telling people where you're registered, if they follow up with comments about "Oh- is that all?" and express wanting to buy from elsewhere, all I'd say is "Anything you want to give us will be appreciated". You can't start stating "Oh, but.... my house, getting it all home" etc - that also falls into the controlling camp.

On that front, though, a suggestion - if you get gifts that you know will be hard to take home, if you are given a gift receipt, then return the items before you go home. Obviously thank the giver appropriately and don't TELL them you'll be returning it. But return before you go home and use the $$ you get to buy what you need once you're home.

Bigboobsmcgee · December 2015

VOR said:

If people ask "where are you registered" and you answer, no big deal. or if they are listed on the invitation, no big deal.

But if you're stating to people "ONLY buy from here. Anything else will be a PITA" - THAT would be too controlling.

And after telling people where you're registered, if they follow up with comments about "Oh- is that all?" and express wanting to buy from elsewhere, all I'd say is "Anything you want to give us will be appreciated". You can't start stating "Oh, but.... my house, getting it all home" etc - that also falls into the controlling camp.

On that front, though, a suggestion - if you get gifts that you know will be hard to take home, if you are given a gift receipt, then return the items before you go home. Obviously thank the giver appropriately and don't TELL them you'll be returning it. But return before you go home and use the $$ you get to buy what you need once you're home.

THis.

goldie987 · December 2015

Ditto to PP. A friend of mine had a shower near her parents house and she lives 14 hours away from there with no car to get things back. She thanked people for their gifts and then returned them and bought the same or similar items when she got home. It was a bit of a PITA for her but it got the job done.

PrimRoseMama · December 2015

I had a shower across the country when I was pg with my daughter. I found that shipping the items home was actually a lot easier than trying to stuff them in a suitcase. Often, folks would order from the registry (Buy Buy Baby) and have it shipped to my house. I waited to open it until after my shower. So, I'd think that maybe shipping might be a better way to do it.

Am I being too controlling?

Re: Am I being too controlling?

LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:

Choose Another Board

Search Boards