Pacifiers....the good, the bad and the ugly!!

kinnonam · December 2015

I have a few friends with kids that believe a pacifier is the worst thing invented by man. There kids loved them a little to much. I've heard horror stories from parents trying to get there child off of the pacifier. Any moms out there have had good experiences with them? How hard was it to ween you child off? Any FTM plan on using one?

mamacastro · December 2015

DS used one his doctor told me to wean it off him before a year so I started gradually shortening his time with it around five months by six months he was completely done with it. He does occasionally suck his thumb but both H and I did as kids so I think that's just meant to happen lol

meg+on+the+DL · December 2015

I'm a FTM, so this is all just coming from experiences I've had with other people's kids. I taught preschool for 5 years and saw both sides. Either way, kids struggle giving either their thumb or a pacifier up. That being said... I'm a bigger fan of pacifiers if a child needs a soothing mechanism. But the trick is weaning them off early. My friends 4 yo couldn't give it up. His teeth are so bad now. I just know that if a child is going to soothe... they'll find a way. Kids who suck on fingers have a harder time coming off than pacifiers. You can't take a finger away! I'm not going to push a pacifier, but I'm planning on introducing one if needed.

Just my two cents.

AdventureMama · December 2015

Sucking is an important comfort reflex for babies. I'd much rather have to wean my kid off of a pacifier than his/her thumb.

DS used a pacifier to fall asleep (when he didn't nurse to sleep, or sometimes after he nursed but I wanted my boob back) regularly until about six or seven months, and then he just stopped using them. It was really weird. We went from "Let's just grab an extra paci just in case we lose this one because what the heck would we do then!" to "Oh I guess he doesn't use these anymore..."
I would make sure you've got breastfeeding figured out before you introduce one, though. They can cause latch issues sometimes.

Edit: clarified something

cbou · December 2015

I am a FTM but I read that pacifiers are a great soother for little babies and actually reduce the chance of SIDS. However, it is recommended you wean them off of it around 5-6 months because they no longer need it and they will actually wake up more at night if it keeps falling out of their mouth. Also, if they continue to use it much after that is more likely to become a longer term habit.

Mamacat316 · December 2015

When my son was tiny we gave him one once or twice but he seemed kind of indifferent to it so we threw them away. So glad we didn't encourage him to use one because watching my friends' kids give them up makes kicking drugs look easy. I'm not going to give this baby one if I can avoid it.

kira91499 · December 2015

Absolutely love a pacifier! Both my boys needed them to self-soothe but I know not all babies need them. I agree with pp about the thumb thing. When it's time to wean them, you can take the paci away but not a thumb. I also think thumbs can be bad for the teeth as far a bite issues. Neither of my kids had this issue from a pacifier. Again not all kids need or have an interest in them but it this baby girl needs one I would let her have one without hesitation! Gerber nuk was the brand my kids used.

heatherlemieux · December 2015

I definitely see both sides of it, but I will say with my son sucked his thumb (I did introduce a paci but he wasn't a fan) and that was SO hard to stop the habit. Lots of tears and hard work he is 6 now and he honestly was completely stopped with it until late 5! You can't take it away! I had to show him photos of messed up teeth to get him to quit. Luckily his teeth are perfect but it could have done some damage and I'm sad to say I know at least 3 adults that sThat being said it is so much easier to take away a pacifier than a thumb and honesty it depends on the child some will do without either but others will find something to suck. Looking be prepared for the weaning and stick to your guns!

22snc12 · December 2015

My son, who just turned two, uses a binky. He initially didn't like it, but with his colic he ended up loving it and it helped with the crying. I have weaned him down to only during nap time and at bedtime. I'm not sure how to get him off at those times now. He actually doesn't sleep through the night either, partly because if the binky falls out of his mouth and it's not near his hand he then wakes up to look for it. I hate the binky, but glad it helped a little with colic, and I definitely agree it's better than a thumb!

Not sure if anyone else has this problem, but my 2 yo is really tall for his age (always has been). So people think he's older and we get side-eyed when we are out and he had his binky. He looks like a 4 yo with a binky. In September we were in Chicago and some guy walking his dog actually stopped us to tell us he shouldn't have the binky anymore. My husband looked at him and said in a very f-you tone, "He's not even two yet." The guy said oh really and then proceeded to start touching my husband's new Cubs flatbill hat. That's a no no. I was actually cringing thinking I'd be trying to bail him out of jail soon. Lol

sarahunderthesea · December 2015

FTM but I asked my mom about it since I know my sister and I were pacifier babies. She said when it came time to wean she popped holes in the nipples so they would colapse when sucked, making them less enjoyable/appealing/soothing/whatever and that we gave them up on our own quickly after that. So that is my plan too.

dtaded13 · December 2015

My dd took one until about 10 months when we weaned her, then she went through a really rough teething (4 at once) at 1.5yrs and found my nieces binky one day. It soothed get so we let her have it again. A few weeks later we weaned her again by having her help us throw them away and traded her a toy for them. She had a hard time for a few days but got over it.

mcklough · December 2015

I was a nanny for a few different families and it really seems to depend on the kid how attached they get. I was with a family that when their son turned 3 they decided to "cut the cord" (after prepping him and over time limiting the use and helping him develop new nap and bedtime soothing techniques). We had a visit from "the binky fairy"- when you turn 3 (or whatever you tell them) the binky fairy has to come and collect all the binkies to give to babies because now they are a big kid and don't need them.

obviously this is meant for older children who could cognitively understand the story but it worked really well. We talked a lot about it happening and then before bed before she came his parents had him gather them all up and put them in a pouch and they drew a picture for the new babies that would get them. The next day when he was upset we talked again about where they went and he was upset off and on for a few days but then he got over it.

BBEA2006 · December 2015

We used pacifiers w/ both LO's and will again w/ this one. They are, imo, life savers! lol Neither one of mine were too attached that it was difficult to break them. I can't quite remember when we took it away but it must have not been a big deal as I don't remember much about it. As a pp said, I would much rather them be dependent on a pacifier than their thumb that you can't take away! lol

Twindling · December 2015

My twins will be 3 in March and we've tried everything under the sun to try to kick the habit. Seriously...you name it, it's been done. Makes it hard not to cave when your kids can cry so hard to the point of vomiting.

We'll continue to do what works for us and worry about any issues as they arise. As of now, their teeth are great. Granted they only get them at bedtime but still.

Judge away!

SgtLou2 · December 2015

DD wouldn't even take a pacifier until she as 3mo, and she would only take a Nuk. I tried to limit it to nap/bedtime uses by the time that she turned 6mos... Mainly because she was not being nursed to sleep anymore and had to find a way to soothe herself. She's 20mos now and still uses the paci at bedtime only. She asks for it at other times, but we refuse. But really, she's not using it as a pacifier but a chew item because she's cutting multiple teeth right now (including a few molars). Once she's finished with these teeth, we will start to wean her from them. But with baby coming, she may regress. So I will tread lightly on this and see how it unfolds. She has a dentist appt in January, so if she's not weaned by then, I'll ask the dentist for suggestions. But, the paci was a lifesaver for me. She probably didn't need it, but I needed her to have something as a baby to soothe her other than my boob. I'll probably do the same for this LO if he needs it.

Kiek · December 2015

DD never took a pacifier. She acted like she was being gagged no matter what kind I tried to give her. She wanted her thumb from the moment she was born and nothing else would do. She's two and only sucks her thumb when she's falling asleep. I'm not sure how we will break the habit yet but was nice that she was always able to smooth herself when she was upset. When she was a baby and she was hungry when id be driving home from town (not a long drive)!she'd alternate thumbs until she got the boob lol. But anyway, we tried pacifiers and she always hated them so it wasn't an option

babyA227 · December 2015

I had my son off the binky at 5-6 months. I think people go wrong when they give it to the baby for no reason. If my son cried I tried everything else before I gave it to him. So he rarely used it. Also if you do want to get your child off the binky and they love it, you'll have to go through that cry it out stage. But if your strong it'll be ok.

BabySeaTurtles · December 2015

DS wouldn't take a pacifier at all. I offered him many different kinds but he just kept spitting them out the second someone wasn't holding it in his mouth. He never sucked his thumb either (thank the Lord) even though DH was a BAD thumb sucker when he was little. DH ended needing braces only because of the thumb sucking. Every kid is just so different. I will offer this one a pacifier and hope she acts the same way as DS did.

Latina211508 · December 2015

I personally did not give any pacifiers to my 3 children and will not with this baby. I guess I don't think its a must have and my kids did great without them. I just have seen too many kids rely on them and I did not want an older toddler attached to one. But obviously it depends on the child.

Achae · December 2015

My LO was a comfort sucker so it was a lifesaver. She liked the hospital ones best and then decided to stop using them for a few months. We introduced one later just to see and she took to them again and used them for naps. We took a trip to Ireland just before she turned 2 and once we were back we cold turkey went off the pacifier. There was some crying and adjustment but just stick to your guns!

Achae · December 2015

Double post arg.

glitteryant · December 2015

I was totally against them with my first. It wasn't until he was about 8 weeks old and crying incosolably and my mom popped one in his mouth that I converted. I don't know why I tortured myself without one for so long. We only used it when it was time to sleep. At about 4 months old, he caught on to our plan and he just popped it out and didn't want it again.

Aussiechicka · December 2015

We gave DS a lovie early on and he sleeps with it and sucks the corner of it for comfort during nap time and at night (only time he has access to it) He's just turned 2 and we seriously need to wean him from it.
It's gross for a start, though we have 5 of them and rotate through them. We wanted to get through moving him to his new room before taking it away and it's just fallen off the radar to do it.

Kiek · December 2015

Lol reading about pacifiers just reminded me of when DD found a whole stash of them in her room when she was around a year old. She stuck them in the side of her mouth like cigars while she was trying to escape any baby gates we had set up lol. Of course once she found them, our dog inevitably found them and ate them all. So that was the end of that lol

RN0107 · December 2015

My older son was really attached to the pacifier. Right after he turned 3 we took them away cold turkey. There was about 3 night of crying before he got over it. My younger son around 2 kept biting holes in his pacifiers. I was buying 2-4 new ones every week. I got sick of spending the money so I stopped buying new ones. After a few nights of only having broken pacifiers he just stopped asking for them. It was a much easier transition. I will offer this baby a pacifier as well.

Lizziesue07 · December 2015

Like others have said a paci you can limit and take away a thumb/ finger you cant... Both my boys were done with it shortly after a yr old.. I just stopped buying them and when they would lose it it was gone.. It wasn't horrible to take them away because by 12 months they mostly had them for nap and bed and maybe if we were out somewhere to keep quiet if they got fussy. However I have daycare kids that LOVE their paci and parents think it will be horrible to take away (they say child only has at nap and bedtime yet comes every day with it and usually gets it when they leave) the child doesn't ask or use it all day here and doesn't even have it at naps here.. I fully believe that in that case and in other cases the parents can't take it away and don't want to listen to them fuss and whine for a few days without it

cMichelle0423 · December 2015

Both my boys weaned themselves off their pacifiers. My oldest was a little over a year old, and my youngest was probably 9 months old or so when he started refusing his. I've had good experiences with them so I'll probably be one for baby #3.

blueberrymomma · December 2015

DD only ever took one when she was cutting teeth and even then she just chewed on them. Sometimes we wished she would because it seemed like a lifesaver with other kids. However I know four year olds that still use them. The worst is when the parents are in denial and say they only use it for bedtime. If that were true I wouldn't see your child with one in their mouth all the time. I don't mean that at any of you, it's just an annoyance of mine that my sister and mom say all the time about my nephew and his binkie
But all kids are different. DD only took the MAM brand. I suggest have a couple different brands to try when baby is born

g8trkim · December 2015

I honestly wish my kids would have liked pacifiers! Neither did and one could not self soothe and the other was (and still is at 5) a thumb sucker. I think as long as you wean them off by an appropriate age it's fine.

bleasdell7 · December 2015

I didn't with my first but will with this one. As my boob became the pacifier lol that was hard to stop

MississippiCatfish · December 2015

My first was fussy, so I tried, but he wouldn't take a paci. My second was rarely fussy, so I never tried. I do believe that both of my kids nursed for comfort more than the average baby. This wasn't a problem for me, but I understand that it's frustrating for some. With this baby, I'll play it by ear again and give it a shot if I feel like it might be helpful.

ETA: Neither of my kids sucked their thumb, either. It isn't a "this or that," like some resources kind of imply.

VitaLuna · December 2015

I was against pacifiers. I think they are often overused and misused (too often I've seen people pop it in baby's mouth instead of paying attention to them, trying to help soothe, addressing the issue, etc), so I didn't plan to use one. When LO was a couple months old (maybe less?) we were struggling with comfort nursing and poor sleep, so I tried every brand of paci I could find with no luck at all. Eventually we got through it and I never offered it again. She never sucked her thumb/fingers (she's over 2 now).

I will try to avoid it with this baby as well, but I'm a little more realistic this time around.

jcjohnson12 · December 2015

My first daughter used one, but she wasn't upset if she didn't have it. She was easy to wean off the bottle, too. She started dippy cups before she was a year. My second daughter wouldn't take a pacifier but she was hard to wean off the bottle...She still asks for one at bed time and she's 26 months

ETA she does suck her thumb occasionally though.
Well. More like holds it in her mouth between her teeth

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