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October 2015 Moms
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How to let go...

basdenjn6basdenjn6 member
in October 2015 Moms
I'm feeling particularly overwhelmed these past few days. Overall LO is a pretty easy baby but he has his moments that definitely wear me out. I think just the day to day of being all about his care without a break- ever - are getting to me. It's my own fault to a certain degree- mom has come over to help out a few times, DH offers to take over but even when someone else is caring for him I find that I can't just go and forget about it. I'm still checking in and watching the whole time and I'm just "on" constantly. I've never been a high strung worrier but I'm am nothing but anxious lately. Does it get better- do you find a way to really take a break and relax for a minute?
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Re: How to let go...

  • jasminelukejasmineluke member
    I'd really like to hear what other experienced moms say ... I'm the say exact way. I can't turn the mom off in me ... Constantly watching over even if DH is watching her.
    When he gets home from work I run to go take a shower and even in the shower I'm checking on the camera what's happening. If she's crying when I come out I come running downstairs in my robe to make sure everything is ok.... He thinks I'm crazy.
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  • sdnyc99sdnyc99 member
    It gets easier! I have a 17-year-old, so I barely remember her newborn days. But I know I got over that feeling and was eventually comfortable with other people watching her as a baby.

    But now, of course, I'm feeling the same way with this new LO! DH took baby duty Saturday night and told me to sleep the whole night. Of course, I couldn't and was up all night, running downstairs every time I heard her!

    Just reminding myself that it all gets easier! They're still so tiny and young. This will all be so brief.
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  • tracij12tracij12 member
    It does get easier! With my first , it didn't really happen until I went back to work. I had no choice. With this one I have the same tendencies but because I have my older daughter to tend to I can't be as obsessive.
    Have you tried getting out of the house? Maybe go get a pedi or a massage when DH or your mom can keep the baby. Keep it short at first but the more you are away and come home to a perfectly fine baby, it might get easier.
    Married DH 08.28.10
    Pregnancy #1: BFP 04.10.11 EDD 12.23.11 DD1 Born 12.4.11
     Pregnancy #2: BFP 5.12.14 MC 5.20.14 @ 5wk4d
    Pregnancy #3: BFP 11.1.14 EDD 7.5.15 MC 11.13.14 @ 6wk4d
    Pregnancy #4: BFP 1.31.15 EDD 10.5.15 DD2 Born 9.23.15
     
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  • basdenjn6basdenjn6 member
    Thanks for the encouraging words ladies. I know it's all in my head- I trust mom and hubby totally with baby- they know just as much as I do about caring for him. I wish I could just have a switch to shut off my mommy- ness for an hour! Glad to hear it gets better!
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  • KristynLee15KristynLee15 member
    I am the same way. Its not that i dont trust anyone with her, its more of a "shes my responsibilty" even though ovbviously shes SO responsibility also. I just can't ever relax.
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  • KLHauck12KLHauck12 member
    I fully trust DH and our moms with the baby but I also have trouble not feeling like she is my responsibility. I can sleep okay (either a nap or during DH's night feeding) but I think being asleep helps me take a break from that feeling. If I hear her crying, I don't hover or feel like i can do better...but I feel guilty for whoever is dealing with her. I feel like staying home is so hard because I deal with her all day by myself and then when DH is home helping I feel guilty passing her off for too long. I temjnd myself that he wants his daddy time. But i still just can't relax because I have one ear on her at all times. It's not a real break. Especially when I have to spend that time washing bottles, making formula, making dinner, cleaning up.....and doing anything I couldn't finish during the day if she was fussy! But that's what I took on by quitting my job to stay home with her and taking on more of the home responsibilities. But I remind myself that if LO has a good day I get a more low key day where I can snuggle with her or have time to myself while she sleeps. Whereas DH is working...so I want him to have down time too in the evening. But it's hard on her fussy days when passing her off means i do chores instead of a having real break!
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  • babykitcatbabykitcat member
    Let's give ourselves a little credit here (I feel the same way) but we spend almost all of our time with these little people. We have figured out what they need when they cry, we feed them any hour of the day, and if they have any type of routine or schedule it's because of us (not fully but let's not be kidding mostly)...when someone else is doing 'our job' it's easy to feel anxious. We've spent hundreds of hours with these little ones and what if DH or parents do something wrong?! Will our hours of time, love and care be forgotten by LO? Clearly no, but I'm with you, it makes me anxious too! And at the end of the day who is staying up all night and soothing LO when their schedules get out of whack...it's us! So for our sanity it's easiest if we just do it all! We will get a better sleep and baby will be happiest! But in reality that won't happen and it is nice to have a break (also got our sanity). Give yourself a positive self talk and just breathe and let whoever take care of LO for a bit. They will all be ok!
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