Community› The Bump Message Boards› Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Babies: 0 - 3 Months
New Discussion

Feeling guilty about not breastfeeding

jenbstevensjenbstevens member
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months
My son had a really hard time latching and lost a lot of weight during his first few days. At my lactation consultation they suggested I pump to supplement what he was getting from breastfeeding (which wasn't much) so I started pumping every two hours and I've been producing a ton. I was breastfeeding and then would give him a bottle.

Now he is six days old and won't latch at all. I'm only giving him what I pump, so I know he's getting mothers milk and that's what's most important, but I feel a weird feeling (guilt?) about not being able to breastfeed directly and I don't know why.

He is eating plenty and definitely thriving, so I know what I'm doing isn't "wrong". Also, I will be going back to work in nine weeks so I'm glad he's taking a bottle so it won't be a fight later, but I was hoping to be able to do both (which may have just been naive) Has anyone else experienced this, and how did you deal with the feelings? Might he be able to latch again when he's a bit bigger, or is all hope lost? If I really want him to get back to breastfeeding, does anyone have any tips? I try to get him to latch (unsuccessfully) for at least ten minutes every session before I end up giving him the bottle.
Pregnancy Ticker
Report Reply to Post

Re: Feeling guilty about not breastfeeding

  • jesssayingjesssaying member
    Try taking to a lactation consultant again. I think what I read is that up to 3-4 months sucking is an instinct so I would think there is still hope. Did anyone ever help you with latching while at the hospital?
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • jenbstevensjenbstevens member
    Thanks. Yes, they did help a bit and he was latching ok but it was extremely painful and they encouraged me to bottle feed when he struggled to latch on.
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • kaylerjeankaylerjean member
    Maybe try a nipple shield? It worked wonders teaching my LO to latch properly and we were able to phase it out after a couple of weeks!
    Report Reply
  • jesssayingjesssaying member
    Try consulting another consultant. I know at our pediatrician they have lactation consultants you can meet with. Don't give up. Make sure when trying to get baby to latch baby has a wide, open mouth. Sometimes my DD will latch better when she's crying, although I hate it when she's already gotten to that point of hunger. The first couple of days my nipples were extremely sore, you do get use to some of the pain.. Youve never has a human attached to those puppies for hours before so some pain is to be expected but it sounds like yours was worse. Have you looked into lipties?
    Report Reply
  • jenbstevensjenbstevens member
    The pain was bad but I was ok with it. Now even when he is screaming he won't latch on, even when the nipple is WAY in there. Tonight I've tried three times and twice he latched on, sucked 4 times (and I got so excited!) then let go. Majorly disappointing but I will definitely try and get another consultation.

    @kaylerjean I've never heard of those! I'll look in to it for sure.
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • NurseRiegerNurseRieger member
    When a baby is started on bottles early they tend to prefer the faster flow of a bottle and develop a lazy latch. Try breastfeeding when baby is not so hungry. Give him a bottle, burp him then try giving him the breast. I had issues because I was strong armed into giving my son formula at the hospital because 24hr went by and he hadn't peed even though it's normal for BF newborn to not pee for 48hr. I thought I was done for. Skin to skin time helped and I basically refused to let him refuse and we are going strong back and forth between breast and bottle at 14 weeks. I wish you the same luck.
    Report Reply
  • jenbstevensjenbstevens member
    @NurseRieger thank you that is very encouraging! I will definitely try feeding him when he isn't very hungry, I think usually he is and that makes him frantic and me guilty for not just giving him a bottle quickly.
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Knottie12323835Knottie12323835 member
    Does your LO like to comfort suck? If so, offering the breast after a bottle will help trick him in learning to latch if he is just looking for something to suck on.
    Or dont give him a full bottle but make sure he is almost full before you offer the breast. He should be calmer than the beggining of the feed when babies can get to worked up.
    Report Reply
  • jenbstevensjenbstevens member
    I went back for a consultation at the hospital today and they ended up giving me a nipple shield. I'm fine if he uses that, I just want the ease of being able to not take pumped milk when I go out. It worked pretty well in the hospital with some effort, so I'm going to keep trying and keep pumping as well. Thanks for the advice ladies!
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • OsMommyOsMommy member
    I had some similar issues with my first.  I felt guilty and discouraged when I had to give my baby a bottle.  Now, I look back and realize I shouldn't have felt that way, but those postpartum hormones are crazy.  I decided to spend a day with constant skin to skin contact and DS started rooting and latched on.  It was amazing!  I hope you can figure out what works best for you and your LO.  Try not to feel guilty!
    Report Reply
  • hbrooks09hbrooks09 member
    I had a similar situation with my now 8 week old. She couldn't latch properly and my nipples were blistered so I started to pump and when my nipples healed I tried again (she was 2 weeks at this point) and she latched fine. Sometimes it just takes time! And if he doesn't want to latch please don't feel guilty! Do what is best for your baby!
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"