Need to vent... Opinions needed

skschnake · December 2015

Morning Ladies!

I hope you all had a great weekend. I am need some advise and opinions that isnt exactly bably related. I have been at my current job for almost 2 years. I am a dental assistant and I also work up front with Insurance, answering the phones. I have gotten to the point in the last few months that I am MISERABLE here! The dentist wife is the main office manager ( there are only 4 of us here ) She micromanages me, is always talking to herself/me, never remembers anything! I am counting down the days until I am able to take my maternity leave. Monday mornings are the worst

In a perfect world I would be able to stay home with her for a few months but thats not going to happen. My question is would you stay somewhere you were miserable? or would you start getting prepared to find a new job? and if so, when do you do that with a new baby... HELP!

lilqt3929 · December 2015

Oh thats a tough situation! Im sorry your miserable there. Were you feeling this way before being pregnant? I know you mentioned the last few months its gotten worse but I wouldn't make any rash decisions if this hasn't been going on for a long time because some of it could be caused by being pregnant (emotions, stress, etc.). When I was pregnant the first time I was in a similar situation and miserable but I knew it was magnified by me being pregnant. DH and I had always talked about me being a SAHM and thats what I ultimately did but not because I hated my job (even though I really didn't like it) but because we could afford it and I after DD was born I couldn't imagine myself doing anything else at that point. I would encourge you to start looking around now and even start preparing an updated resume so that if you do decide the right choice is to leave that at least you'll have a head start on the process. Who knows what else you will find out there and whatever you can do now to prepare for the possibility is best with a baby on the way. Also, as far as disibilty and insurance goes, if you were to find another job now while pregnant I'm not sure how all that would work, I'd certainly research that.

skschnake · December 2015

Thank you for this.. It started to get bad before I was pregnant and has gradually gotten worse. I just want a job where I can wake up and not want to throat punch anyone because I have to go to work. I just want to be happy honestly. I think maybe I am burned out on the dental field. I dont get any pay got maternity leave, she only pays two holidays a year!

I think it has been alittle worse since I have been pregnant ( She treats me differently than the other lady in the office who was pregnant )

DrillSergeantCat · December 2015

I had a job where I actually had to take medication to go to work. I ended up getting fired because my boss was paranoid and thought I was involved in a plot to get her removed from her position. That was the best thing that could have happened. I was in the process of looking for a new job when I was let go and not having to take medication to go to work is great. I'm in the process again of looking for a new job and will hopefully find something while I'm on maternity leave. If you're miserable, you need to do what's best for you and go. If you can afford it, leave now and enjoy some time off.

skschnake · December 2015

DrillSergeantCat said:

I had a job where I actually had to take medication to go to work. I ended up getting fired because my boss was paranoid and thought I was involved in a plot to get her removed from her position. That was the best thing that could have happened. I was in the process of looking for a new job when I was let go and not having to take medication to go to work is great. I'm in the process again of looking for a new job and will hopefully find something while I'm on maternity leave. If you're miserable, you need to do what's best for you and go. If you can afford it, leave now and enjoy some time off.

Girl, I literally woke up this morning and could have cried because I knew I would have a crappy day. It takes a lot for me to hold my tongue and some days I just let her have it. I wish I could take some earlier time off but financially I dont think I can. I am going to start getting my resume redone and ready to send out. I would rather lose a slight bit in pay to find a job I am happy with.

DrillSergeantCat · December 2015

skschnake said:

Girl, I literally woke up this morning and could have cried because I knew I would have a crappy day. It takes a lot for me to hold my tongue and some days I just let her have it. I wish I could take some earlier time off but financially I dont think I can. I am going to start getting my resume redone and ready to send out. I would rather lose a slight bit in pay to find a job I am happy with.

I'm planning on spending some time during my maternity leave looking for a new job. It's definitely worth a cut in pay to not want to murder someone every day.

amoulder423 · December 2015

Life is too short to continue doing something that you hate! Maybe stick it out until the baby comes, but start looking and polishing that resume.

22snc12 · December 2015

I was an accounts receivable manager at my last regular job, and as soon as they found out I was pregnant they started writing me up for crazy stuff. The owner's wife, who didn't actually work there would come in and follow me around and even told me I wasn't allowed to eat at work (while pregnant) - yet after she told me that and I turned around her daughter was eating (not on lunch) and all of the other office people ate snacks whenever. I wasn't the only one she harassed, she did this with the factory workers and other office people. There were many complaints filed against her. It got worse as I got closer to my due date. I absolutely looked for another job while on maternity leave, didn't find one.

Once I came back from maternity leave they fired me about 3 weeks later. They wouldn't give me a place to pump and I had to pump in my car on my lunch break. Within a week of me asking for a place to pump is when they fired me. I loved the actual job but some of the people just made it a nightmare. If you aren't happy there's no reason to not at least look for another job. Can't hurt.

pbtoast · December 2015

If you're really that miserable, I would definitely suggest looking for a new job. However, this is obviously not a great time to do so with a baby on the way. If I were you, I'd stick it out until after the baby is born (at least there's an end in sight with maternity leave coming up!) and while I was on leave, I'd be perfecting my resume and applying for new positions.

satuttle1014 · December 2015

pbtoast said:

If you're really that miserable, I would definitely suggest looking for a new job. However, this is obviously not a great time to do so with a baby on the way. If I were you, I'd stick it out until after the baby is born (at least there's an end in sight with maternity leave coming up!) and while I was on leave, I'd be perfecting my resume and applying for new positions.

^^ This is what I would do. I would wait to go on leave then decide if you want to leave your job or not and use your leave to search for a new job.

I have been at my job for a little over 2 years now and after the baby is born I plan to leave. I am working up until my leave and then while I am on leave I will "make the decision to not come back" even though in my head I already made the decision in my head. My current boss won't let me work from home, he really hates when people work from home. I do it every now and then but full time? He is so against it and I don't want to pay for a nanny or daycare so I will be looking for a new job on my leave that allows me to work from home.

skschnake · December 2015

satuttle1014 said:

pbtoast said:

If you're really that miserable, I would definitely suggest looking for a new job. However, this is obviously not a great time to do so with a baby on the way. If I were you, I'd stick it out until after the baby is born (at least there's an end in sight with maternity leave coming up!) and while I was on leave, I'd be perfecting my resume and applying for new positions.

^^ This is what I would do. I would wait to go on leave then decide if you want to leave your job or not and use your leave to search for a new job.

I have been at my job for a little over 2 years now and after the baby is born I plan to leave. I am working up until my leave and then while I am on leave I will "make the decision to not come back" even though in my head I already made the decision in my head. My current boss won't let me work from home, he really hates when people work from home. I do it every now and then but full time? He is so against it and I don't want to pay for a nanny or daycare so I will be looking for a new job on my leave that allows me to work from home.

I would love to find a job where I could work from home. I just havent seen anything advertised or companys that allow that where I live

I have pretty much told DH that "IF" I come back after baby, it will only be until I find something else.

ashcody2 · December 2015

I'd probably at least give it a go after maternity leave is over - at my last job, I loved my job itself but absolutely hated the people who worked above me. I was a receptionist and processor for tax returns for an accounting office (so kind of similar to you) but decided I'd go back because I figured it was partially due to my hormones (I couldn't wait for maternity leave to start so I could get out!). I ended up going back for about 7 months and quitting because I was still miserable.

The reason I say to wait it out is because I'm a bookkeeper at my new job and love the job, flexibility and most of the ppl I work with (lol can't love em all, right?) but I am SO miserable at this point due to lack of sleep, backaches, and just hormones in general that everyone gets on my nerves, daily so again, I can't wait for maternity leave to start but am sure I'm just mostly miserable due to how far along we are.

brushesnbrunch · December 2015

I'd take my maternity leave and then while on it look for a new job.

mcklough · December 2015

I'd tough it out until you can leave before the baby is born and while you are out start looking for jobs. If you have already calculated how long you can be out and it's not too long you may be able to start job hunting before labor and just stating that you are looking for a position starting Mid-April, for example. It might be hard to find a future open position, but if you are looking at a larger office it might work out and it would let you get your feelers out there to see what the market is like right now,

skschnake · December 2015

mcklough said:

I'd tough it out until you can leave before the baby is born and while you are out start looking for jobs. If you have already calculated how long you can be out and it's not too long you may be able to start job hunting before labor and just stating that you are looking for a position starting Mid-April, for example. It might be hard to find a future open position, but if you are looking at a larger office it might work out and it would let you get your feelers out there to see what the market is like right now,
This is a good idea as well.

glitteryant · December 2015

Be careful, you want to come back from maternity leave for at least a short period. I've heard that if you never come back, you sometimes have to repay the short term disability benefits.

DrillSergeantCat · December 2015

glitteryant said: Be careful, you want to come back from maternity leave for at least a short period. I've heard that if you never come back, you sometimes have to repay the short term disability benefits.

-----------------------------------qbf-------------------------------I have to come back or else I have to repay my company paid portion of my health insurance.

skschnake · December 2015

glitteryant said:

Be careful, you want to come back from maternity leave for at least a short period. I've heard that if you never come back, you sometimes have to repay the short term disability benefits.

I havent even looked into short term disability. I didnt even think about that until now. Is that thru thru the employer or thru my state?

mcklough · December 2015

What state do you work in?

DrillSergeantCat · December 2015

skschnake said:

I havent even looked into short term disability. I didnt even think about that until now. Is that thru thru the employer or thru my state?

If you don't already have it, it's too late. Your pregnancy is now considered a pre-existing condition. In the future, though, you can purchase it through companies like Aflac.

skschnake · December 2015

Ohhh ok.. I live and work in Louisiana.

mcklough · December 2015

Louisiana doesn't have any kind of state policies unfortunately for partially paid maternity/disability.

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