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BFP and so scared!

jilligan14jilligan14 member
in Pregnant after a Loss
Hi all,

I've been a regular at the TTC>35 board for the past year, as well as spending some time at the Infertility board. I just got my BFP on Thursday at 14dpo and was able to go in for my first beta that day, which was 349. I was going to wait until after my follow-up beta before posting to a PG board (I go in tomorrow) but I'm kind of freaking out and I needed some support. A good friend at TTC>35 recommended this board so here I am.

I'm 36 and have PCOS. I had 2 natural pregnancies in 2014, both of which ended in m/c around 6-7 weeks. I wasn't able to get pregnant for most of 2015 until I decided to try a medicated cycle (letrozole, Ovidrel trigger shot, TI) and it did the trick!

Part of the reason that I'm freaking out is because I don't have many symptoms and am afraid that things have "stalled out". For my previous pregnancies, I felt so much so early on - lots of cramps, nausea, dizziness, super sore boobs, etc. Now I just feel a slight twingey cramp here and there, nausea comes and goes (and it's barely noticeable) and although my boobs are sensitive, they don't hurt like they did in the past. Basically, everything feels pretty "calm" in there, which could be a good thing or just really bad news.

Sorry for the long intro/rant. I feel so lost because I can't post about this on my previous boards. I know I'll get more clarity tomorrow after my 2nd beta but boy am I nervous about getting that phone call...

Hope everyone is doing well and I look forward to getting to know you all (if I end up staying on this board).
ME: 36 (PCOS), DH: excellent SA
NTNP since 11/12, actively trying since 8/14
m/c @ 7w (4/22/14), m/c @ 6w (11/19/14)
11/15: Letrozole, Ovidrel, TI = BFP!!!
Beta #1(14dpo)=349, Beta #2(18dpo)=2,805
12/17/15: Got to see the heartbeat (105bpm)!
1/25/16: NT scan = normal (HB=163bpm)
EDD: 8/10/16 
8/8/16: Baby boy born @ 12:25am, 8lbs, 20.5 inches
5/18/17: BFP!!! (11dpo)
Beta #1(12dpo)=176.4, Beta #2(15dpo)=607.1
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Re: BFP and so scared!

  • lilp2015lilp2015 member
    Congrats and welcome! This board is great! we all understand you being nervous. I have had 2 mmc this year at 7w5d. I am currently 11 weeks and still worry all the time that something will go wrong. When it comes to symptoms I've definitely learned they can come and go and everything is ok. Thoughts and prayers on a happy and healthy 9 months!
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  • PlainJane8350PlainJane8350 member
    Congratulations! Symptoms waxing and waning, although stressful, is normal! I had twinges, too, whereas my doctor doesn't like full blown cramps.
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  • carrieandrcarrieandr member
    First I want to say "Yay! You're here!!!" (I'm the friend that told her to join us.) As for your symptoms, I know how scary that is. My symptoms went away shortly after they started and my temp dropped a little, so I was convinced it was going to be a chemical. They returned a couple days later. I thought I was going to lose it again at 5 weeks. While I can't assure you that everything will be fine, hopefully knowing that it could still go either way will ease your mind. I really, really, really hope you get to stay. Fx for good news.
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
    BFP 2/16/18      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks      •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
    BFP 9/24/18  •      CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













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  • AL_TwinCitiesAL_TwinCities member
    Congratulations!! I hear you on the symptoms - it's so hard not to overanalyze everything and assume the worst with certain symptoms or a lack thereof. FX for a great beta result!
    me 30; DH 35
    TTC since May 2014.
    Aug 2014 BFP, EDD April 22, 2015. Low progesterone, started suppositories. Loss at 5w6d.
    Nov 19, 2015 BFP at 13 dpo, EDD July 29, 2016. MMC discovered 12/29 (9+4). Natural miscarriage 1/16 (12+1).
    AMH results 0.42, 1.2; FSH 12.1, AFC 10, dx DOR. 
    RPL testing results normal. Nurse recommended progesterone suppositories in TWW.
    Clomid + trigger + TI cycle August 2016 - failed. Thin lining.
    Femara + trigger + TI cycle December 2016 - failed. Thin lining.
    Short LP (8 days).
    Acupuncture & Chinese herbs starting January 2017, lengthened LP to 10 days 

    Summer 2016 LFAF awards: 



    Winter 2016/2017 LFAF awards:

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  • Aera11Aera11 member
    @jilligan14 I hear you!  Congrats on the BFP and I know how nerve wracking these early weeks can be.  I think even light symptoms are better than none; you're still so early in your pregnancy that it may take a few more days/weeks for them to show or you may get to be one the lucky ones who has mild symptoms :) but I know you almost want those symptoms after you've experience a loss because it's reassuring you something is going on down there.  

    My symptoms are more intense this time around but I had light cramping in one side/ovary today and it got me all panicked it's an ectopic pregnancy and now I am freaking out a little.  I tested positive a week ago now and haven't called my RE in fear (which sounds silly).  I am not afraid of the first appointment, it's the follow ups where they could tell me my levels dropped.  I am going to bite the bullet and call tomorrow; I'm just trying to mentally prepare myself for any scenario.  FX for you!!
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  • carrieandrcarrieandr member
    @Aera11 that could just be your ovary hurting because of the corpus luteum cyst that produces progesterone until the placenta takes over. I had an u/s after my cramping and the tech said my ovary is enlarged from the cyst and she thinks that's what was causing it.
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
    BFP 2/16/18      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks      •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
    BFP 9/24/18  •      CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













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  • Aera11Aera11 member
    Oh that's good to know @CarrieandRoy! I woke up and the twingeing on my left is gone and I still got a high temp so I'll be calling my doctor shortly to go in this week.
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  • bntfroggiebntfroggie member
    Welcome, and congratulations on your BFP!!  I just wanted to say that I know how scary this is and you are among friends.  As far as not having symptoms, honestly up until 18wks (when I started to feel movement) my famous line when people asked me how I was feeling was if I didn't know I was pregnant I wouldn't know I was pregnant.  My friend joked with me that I'm having a mellow hippie baby and how funny that would be since I'm so high strung.  Anyway symptoms or no "Today you are pregnant" so congratulations!!
    BFP 2/11/15 (EDD 10/13/15). MMC 3/30/15 D&C 4/3/15 "We will always love you"
    DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16).  "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
    DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18).  "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
    BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21).  "Round 3 FIGHT!"
    Report Reply
  • jilligan14jilligan14 member
    edited December 2015
    My 2nd beta results are in! My levels are at 2,805! That's way more than a quadruple increase since Thursday! What a huge sigh of relief (I was anxious all day waiting for the results). I'm sure I'll start panicking about the next thing soon but for this very moment I feel reassured that things are progressing and happy that I can hang out on this board for now :)

    @Aera11 the whole beta thing is just so stressful! It's like having to take a super crucial exam but not being able to do a thing to improve your score (I find it so challenging that so much of this is out of my control). I just decided to go for it and get the betas out of the way. Fingers crossed that you get wonderful results!

    @bntfroggie ha, I agree that if I didn't know I was pregnant, I wouldn't know I was pregnant! I'd probably think the odd cramp was just gas or something! I have been starting to feel more tired than usual and also getting really hungry. I'm just so surprised I don't feel more with such high hcg levels. The body is a mystery!

    Thanks all for your warm welcomes. I really appreciate it and I look forward to sharing this journey with you all!
    ME: 36 (PCOS), DH: excellent SA
    NTNP since 11/12, actively trying since 8/14
    m/c @ 7w (4/22/14), m/c @ 6w (11/19/14)
    11/15: Letrozole, Ovidrel, TI = BFP!!!
    Beta #1(14dpo)=349, Beta #2(18dpo)=2,805
    12/17/15: Got to see the heartbeat (105bpm)!
    1/25/16: NT scan = normal (HB=163bpm)
    EDD: 8/10/16 
    8/8/16: Baby boy born @ 12:25am, 8lbs, 20.5 inches
    5/18/17: BFP!!! (11dpo)
    Beta #1(12dpo)=176.4, Beta #2(15dpo)=607.1
    Report Reply
  • carrieandrcarrieandr member
    @jilligan14 I'm so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Now that you know your hcg is good, enjoy the lack of symptoms while it lasts!  My hcg was over 20,000 a week ago -- I shudder to think what it is now.  I feel so unbearably nauseous. 

    Ahhhhh, I'm just so, so happy for you.  :)
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
    BFP 2/16/18      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks      •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
    BFP 9/24/18  •      CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













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  • Aera11Aera11 member
    That's amazing @jilligan14! On Monday my hcg was 849 & I go back Friday...so nervous, hoping mine does what yours did :) woohoo! I'm loving the vibes here.
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