Judgemental Eyes

sassyduck0415 · December 2015

Have you experienced this? Let's talk about it! I'd rant about it in the TWW, but I have no answers except CD30!

We've been NTNP as we moved this cycle & everything has been wonky. It sparked Thursday that I hadn't started so I did a little back tracking and today is CD30. I thought WTH, let's go drop $10 on FRER & find out if AF is gonna rear her ugly head! Also, I range 28-32 day cycles so I'm feeling confident I'd get a reliable response. So up to my local Walmart I go, do-da-do.. It's my turn at check out and the audacity of hormonal home boy to spot check for a wedding band was disgusting! THEN, when he didn't notice one because I've decided clothes are too hard today, he scoffs with even more judgement!!

Why is there such a poor stigma surrounded by purchasing HPT?

PS; it was a BFN, if you're wondering. I heart POAS so I'll probably use the second in the morning because I can.

iceandsnowflakes29 · December 2015

I order online or make H buy them LOL

MonaLisaRalphio · December 2015

Having worked in grocery store for years and years, I can tell you with 99.9% certainty that the guy did not give a crap what you were buying. He may have checked for a wedding band if he thought you were cute. But he's probably sold 30 HPT today, and only noticed 3 of them, and he likely cared about 0 of them.

On the off chance that you ran into the one retail employee that cares what you're buying, eff him. He matters zero.

(Edited because words)

klstone25 · December 2015

I really like stores with self checkouts.

mom2adoodle · December 2015

That's a bummer. I've had the opposite, people saying "good luck" and smiling. Don't let it get you down. People can be dumb.

sassyduck0415 · December 2015

@klstone25 I looked for one, but noticed it was on the other end of the store & decided those steps were just too much, LOL.

@mom2adoodle Aww, that would gets my hopes up so much & warm my heart even more! How awesome to get support from complete strangers!

klstone25 · December 2015

@sassyduck0415 Oh the struggle! I've definitely been there. haha! I do love self check outs when they work. But every now and then this happens. LOL

Lulucooks · December 2015

The way I see it, if someone judges me quietly, it's none of my business. If they judge me vocally, I will put them in their place.

I don't care what other people think enough to let it effect me or to even notice when it happens.

gardeniagirlknits · December 2015

In the beginning of this process, I always went to a lady cashier and put my pregnancy tests on the counter with my left hand to make sure she saw my ring... Silly I know. Then after a few months I started buying my ovulation and pregnancy test kits in the same purchase to get the point across that "I'm TRYING to get knocked up its not an accident!!". now?! Lol, I stopped caring completely.... Maybe I'm just jaded and bitter.

Eta clarification

TheBorg7of9 · December 2015

sassyduck0415 said:
Have you experienced this? Let's talk about it! I'd rant about it in the TWW, but I have no answers except CD30!

We've been NTNP as we moved this cycle & everything has been wonky. It sparked Thursday that I hadn't started so I did a little back tracking and today is CD30. I thought WTH, let's go drop $10 on FRER & find out if AF is gonna rear her ugly head! Also, I range 28-32 day cycles so I'm feeling confident I'd get a reliable response. So up to my local Walmart I go, do-da-do.. It's my turn at check out and the audacity of hormonal home boy to spot check for a wedding band was disgusting! THEN, when he didn't notice one because I've decided clothes are too hard today, he scoffs with even more judgement!!

Why is there such a poor stigma surrounded by purchasing HPT?

PS; it was a BFN, if you're wondering. I heart POAS so I'll probably use the second in the morning because I can.

Are you sure you aren't imagining things? I think you really have no idea what he was really looking at and that he was scoffing at you for not being married? I mean, you're not a mind reader.

LittleMissTimeLord · December 2015

I like to purposely go to buy my HPTs in my chucks with no makeup and no ring on. I look like I skipped class to pickup a pregnancy test.

britters314 · December 2015

Do you take your ring off every night? I would totally lose mine if I did that - I keep it on 24/7 lol

mom2adoodle · December 2015

bcooke314 said:

Do you take your ring off every night? I would totally lose mine if I did that - I keep it on 24/7 lol

Haha I take it off every night! And when I work out and when I shower. I have had a few scares around the house "where the eff is my ring!" but thankfully nothing major.

_darth · December 2015

I've had the beginning of judgemental stares a from cashiers when buying various family planning items (usually from older ladies at the grocery stores), but I kinda sorta maybe have a resting bitch face that causes frost to form, and take way too much pleasure in using it sometimes... When in doubt, maintain eye contact and slowly raise the eyebrows.

m6agua · December 2015

I don't really care what the cashier thinks. Also I take my ring off every night too. Sometimes my hands swell at night so it gets uncomfortable.

Also I think for this subject a new thread was appropriate. To me this is something that would have clogged up the TWW thread and make it a pain to read through.

MrsDho11 · December 2015

I was taking my rings off every day to swim, and I kept forgetting to put them on or freaking out about where they were. So I got a nice necklace chain, and now I just wear them around my neck. Weird, probably, but I figure that I don't care what other people think about it, and it makes me happy to have them always on me, even if it is in an abnormal way.

As far as the original post is concerned... ugh, this is something that I struggle with thinking too sometimes, though usually I just key myself up and then nothing happens when I'm actually checking out because like others have said, I think the checker couldn't possibly care less. I think it has a lot to do with the whole "how society reacts to/feels about sexually active women" thing, but I really don't want to start a whole feminism thing right now.

beachbunnyxo123 · December 2015

I try not to assume what others are thinking as there is no way of knowing unless they say it- the rest is all based off my own interpretation- but I do feel nervous about being judged when I buy HPTs (my own inner anxiety) which is so weird because it's something I'm so excited about and proud of! Doesn't make sense sometimes!

izza2 · December 2015

I stopped caring what the cashiers may think when I bought pregnancy tests for the first time at 16 and got nasty looks from not only the cashier, but the person behind me in line.

They were for my sister-in-law, because they were trying to get pregnant with their first at the time, and she was late for her period.

After that I figured, it's none of their business who is buying pregnancy tests, why, and what their status is. Unless they're paying for them, or they're my immediate family, they have no place to say anything.

But, after that first experience, I've had nothing but good ones. I either get just smiles, or I have people tell me good luck.

musicinmysoul17 · December 2015

I definitely feel weird about buying them at the store because I look so young. Yes, I'm married and most of the time I've either gotten good lucks or they just don't say anything but to me it still feels weird. I like ordering HPT's or self-checkout, but some stores have sensors on them now which is stupid cause you HAVE to go through checkout.

picklesplease · December 2015

I remember buying them for my sister-in-law or friends when I was in college. I went to undergrad in a small town, so they would recognize my friends. They hated buying HPTs or condoms or their BC because the cashier might recognize them. I didn't care, so they would pay and I would go pick that stuff up for them. Most of the time the cashier would just scan the items, end of story. I think, after a while, they realized that I was the go-to person for my friends, they understood.

NovaSaysNo · December 2015

I just want to add that the title "judgemental eyes" sounds like a Taylor Swift song. That's all.

britters314 · December 2015

The last time I bought one the cashier asked if it was a good brand and I said I heard (from people on here) that it was, but I hadn't tried it yet. She told me that she used two the last two days and they both said negative. I didn't know how to respond because.. was that a good thing or a bad thing for her? I just awkwardly smiled, paid and walked away lol. The other times it was just with all my groceries so I doubt the cashier even noticed.

Ally0221 · December 2015

I used to worry about this when I was preg with DS. I have a very young looking face, and I just knew people were side-eying the "pregnant teen" especially when my wedding/engagement rings wouldn't fit anymore. I've bought an OPK monitor at our Walgreens which is literally next door to us. But most of the staff there at least know my face so no qualms or judgement there.

FiancB · December 2015

My fave cashier

But really I don't give a crap.

BostonBaby1 · December 2015

***dirty lurking ***

If you truly think he was judging you, you should go back the next time you need an HPT and purchase a pack of cigarettes at the same time ;-)

twomommiestobe · December 2015

I worked retail for years. Cashiers could care less who you are or what you buy. We are just counting the minutes until the shift ends because we hate our job lol. We also just want you to hurry up and pay faster so we can help the next person in line.
I can guarantee you, I didn't remember customers unless they were rude or act like they were "special".

princessnikkipants · December 2015

I don't really care what the cashiers think if I'm buying HPT.. most of the time if I can I go through the self serve... the last time I bought HPT I was at costco and decided what the hell I may as well get a bulk pack (who knows when you might need 6 HPT :P ) it was in among my other groceries and the cashier picked it up and looked intently at it.. my bitchiness was just about to kick in when he asked if they were temperature strips.. I laughed and told him they were pregnancy tests.... he seriously had no idea maybe your cashier was just as clueless? :P

Pepper6 · December 2015

*tw: pregnancy mentioned*

I never really paid attention to the cashiers reaction to my purchases, but one time I did overhear a lady on the phone bitching about how many unmarried people were having babies while conspicuously looking at me...when I was 8 months pregnant and couldn't wear my rings anymore because my fingers were too swollen. I mean, she could've been talking about someone else, but I doubt it. Either way, I actually found it amusing because it's such a stupid thing to get judgy about.

charmedlifex3 · December 2015

I live in a VERY small town in a very small state.

I was sobbing in the grocery store the night before our wedding because they didn't have safety pins - and my neighbor asked me three weeks later if everything was okay. She heard I was crying in the store.

So less judgment here, and more worry over the gossip mill. Likely the cashier in the store knows my name, where I live, who my husband is, (even if I forgot to wear my wedding band) and that I lost my keys last week.

Needless to say - I buy my tests off Amazon. My husband went to go get a FRER at walgreens near us before Thanksgiving (to make sure I could drink!) and when I picked up allergy medicine a few days later the clerk asked if we "got the result we were hoping for?"

I love the connectedness of a small town (600 people, lol) - except for when I don't. :P

rkstro2 · December 2015

BostonBaby1 said:
***dirty lurking ***

If you truly think he was judging you, you should go back the next time you need an HPT and purchase a pack of cigarettes at the same time ;-)

Lol when we first started TTC I used to go to the grocery near the end of tww and get hpt and a ton of alcohol. I worried about what people in the store thought...especially bc we see neighbors and co workers there frequently!

alynne1113 · December 2015

I bought a bunch when my dd was 6 months and the cashier made a comment about needing condoms. I laughed and told her that she better watch what she says to customers or she may be looking for a new minimum wage job. 40 year old Cashier at dollar store judging me for having kids? What a joke.

princesslockness · December 2015

alynne1113 said:
I bought a bunch when my dd was 6 months and the cashier made a comment about needing condoms. I laughed and told her that she better watch what she says to customers or she may be looking for a new minimum wage job.

40 year old Cashier at dollar store judging me for having kids? What a joke.

I've had that happen. Snagged like 5 last payday, had LO who is ~4 months in the cart. The cashier asked if I need BCPs. That b*tch got fired as her manager heard.

momtoleo · December 2015

Years ago, I was leaving for study abroad in Ireland and at CVS with my mom picking up items I'd need. My mom, who is rather progressive, insisted on me bringing a box of condoms because Ireland is a Catholic country and she "didn't know if you could get them there." We lived in a small town so you definitely saw people at the store every time you went. Okay, fine, mortified me picked some out, hid them in the basket and kept going. Checked out, but as we're leaving, the store alarm went off. The cashier, in the loudest possible voice, yelled "It's okay! It's just the condoms!"

Everyone at the check out turned towards us. My mom and I looked at each other and flat out sprinted to the car.

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