March 2016 Moms

Unsoliciting Belly touching..

Soooo Has anybody had complete strangers touch their belly without even asking..? I encountered one today and my reaction was a bit rude.. But like seriously why would you just touch my stomach.. Its weird very very weird.. She apologized.. I felt bad afterwards she was an elder lady but.. I just dont think you should just touch a pregnant womans belly.. Has anybody else had these issues.. Because my belly has definitely become a magnet for ppls hands..Please share..
«1

Re: Unsoliciting Belly touching..

  • Loading the player...
  • Lol i usually swat ppls hands as well but the elder lady caught me off guard.. Lol.. Im a phlebotomist so when i went to feel for her vein in her arm her other hand went str8 for my belly.. My face said it all thats why she apologized..lol.. Its terrible that ppl think they can just do that.. Smh
  • @arcanejinx im cracking up at the resting bitch face comment.. Lol.. And i too am height challenge.. 5ft even..smh..
  • Lurking from May 16. I'm only 16 wks so haven't had this happen yet but I would imagine it would be so uncomfortable to have a stranger do that. om super uncomfortable being touched by people that I don't know very well, so I would imagine I would bat their hand away or quickly move backward/away from their hand
  • I'm totally in the minority here, but I really don't mind people touching my belly!  It hasn't happened (outside of our house) at all this time around, but I'm busier now with my LO's around.  It especially happened a lot with my first and even though I am a shy person, it never bothered me.  I could tell they were well-intentioned, sweet, older ladies who were just excited for me...and I was excited, too.  So I'd be all like, "I KNOW!!!  Isn't this AMAZING?!  There's a PERSON in there!!!"  Of course if it was some creeper, I'd feel differently.  And obviously, if I were not pregnant...it'd make no sense.  I think people are just drawn to the wonder of life in your belly.

    I've also noticed I really have to fight the urge to touch pregnant bellies myself (not strangers, but if I know you, I'm secretly wanting to touch your belly)!  I don't know why exactly, I'm just so excited for people and so happy!! 

    None of this is to say that anyone should just let people touch their bellies simply because there is a baby in there!!  If you are not comfortable with it, that's what matters. 
  • sahmrey said:

    I'm totally in the minority here, but I really don't mind people touching my belly!  It hasn't happened (outside of our house) at all this time around, but I'm busier now with my LO's around.  It especially happened a lot with my first and even though I am a shy person, it never bothered me.  I could tell they were well-intentioned, sweet, older ladies who were just excited for me...and I was excited, too.  So I'd be all like, "I KNOW!!!  Isn't this AMAZING?!  There's a PERSON in there!!!"  Of course if it was some creeper, I'd feel differently.  And obviously, if I were not pregnant...it'd make no sense.  I think people are just drawn to the wonder of life in your belly.

    I've also noticed I really have to fight the urge to touch pregnant bellies myself (not strangers, but if I know you, I'm secretly wanting to touch your belly)!  I don't know why exactly, I'm just so excited for people and so happy!! 

    None of this is to say that anyone should just let people touch their bellies simply because there is a baby in there!!  If you are not comfortable with it, that's what matters. 

    Yeah-I don't enjoy touching other people at all. If I could never have to shake hands again I'd die happy-and it's not a germ thing. I just equate touch with emotional closeness so I just don't like it. Thus I've never had the urge to touch other women's bellies at all. Plus at my work with children we encourage kids to ask permission to touch others so I'm ok with them asking and hugging/kissing on cheeks but adults should know better to check that it's ok to touch someone.
    tahirgirl said:

    @arcanejinx im cracking up at the resting bitch face comment.. Lol.. And i too am height challenge.. 5ft even..smh..

    Even DH offen asks me what's wrong and I'm just siting here like "this is just my face". And my torso is very short (my doctor even comments on it). I look tall in photos.
    DD: Beatrix Louise aka BeeBop. April 2 2016. H.I.E Warrior <3
  • I'm a bartender/waitress. I've only had a few unsolicited touches. One of my customers did it after he hadn't seen me for a few weeks. Later he was back with his buddy that always comes in with him. Guy number 2 asked if he could rub my belly for good keno luck I said no. Then the other guy goes "well you let me touch it" and I said "I didn't LET you do anything, you just touched it without asking" they backed off pretty quick. Like when I wasn't pregnant it wasn't okay to reach around and grab my ass so why would it be okay to just touch my belly?? I know there is more of this to come. Anyone else in this or a similar profession? Alcohol mixed in the equation never helps either.

    PS sorry about the language.
  • I've only had one person (who I work with) touch me uninvited. She got the message pretty quick though!

    What annoys me the most is how everyone seems to have some sort of opinion on a pregnant woman's body... I nearly turned around and bit the head off another woman I work with who commented "oh! Your certainly waddling now aren't you!" Followed by a laugh... And here I was trying to move something, in the heat, after a long day and really bad sciatic pain! Was totally not what I needed to hear!! Ugh!!
  • No strangers yet, but my brother thought I was actually going to punch him in the face when he touched me. I don't want any others but my husband, and my doctor, touching my belly.
  • I've had no strangers touch my belly, lots of relatives over thanksgiving though! I'm guessing I won't have issues with strangers touching my belly since there is a new law about touching a pregnant womans belly in PA!
    View Full Size Image
    Happily Married 7/2011
    DD Born 8/2013
    Baby Due July/2015(Loss Dec2014)
    Baby #2 Due March/2016


  • I'm on the taller side at 5'7" and super skinny. So this belly looks like a basketball stuck to the side of a telephone pole.
    It's a magnet for EVERYONE to touch. Honestly, I don't feel like it belongs to me anymore because there's so many people touching it. 
    I just have to wear it around, but it belongs to this baby and everyone wants to hold the baby and feel the baby and talk to the baby. 
    Before he started moving around alot, I didn't like it because it still felt like MY belly. 
    Now that I feel him non-stop, he reminds me that this is his space and people want to meet him.

    Yes, it's a little weird to have someone else's hand resting on my belly. 
    But I'm lucky not to be around strangers too often, so it's usually just family and friends.

    I guess I'm the easy going type.
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I'm dreading this happening to me. I'm 23 weeks now, was "thin" before and 5'4 so I'm obviously pregnant now. The parents of my students noticed I was pregnant two weeks ago, I've been wearing loose clothing to keep my sweet baby our private thing for a bit longer. The other teachers know, and one aide in particular is obsessed with pregnant bellies... She's been attempting to rub it since I was 12 weeks and told her. I finally told her that she was trying to rub my stomach and intestines because the uterus is nowhere near she was rubbing. She hasn't done it since.

    I've kept it a "secret" at school from my 1st graders so far and hope to make it as far as possible until I'm forced to tell them, because I don't even want their hands on me! Plus staying away from GERMS and having personal space are majorly important to me these.
  • tJaffe said:

    I finally told her that she was trying to rub my stomach and intestines because the uterus is nowhere near she was rubbing.

    I had to explain that to my husband early on, haha.
    DS1 born 2/28/16
    DS2 due 12/12/18

  • I'm with @sahmrey. It doesn't really bother me. If it give them a little joy in their day, I'm all for it. However, I can't stand it when people say I'm big or HUGE! That makes me want to punch them in the face.
  • I'm with @sahmrey. It doesn't really bother me. If it give them a little joy in their day, I'm all for it. However, I can't stand it when people say I'm big or HUGE! That makes me want to punch them in the face.


    Ditto on the HUGE comments! I feel like they think they are giving me a compliment but really... what woman ever wants to hear that they are huge?!? I love when my little 1st graders touch my belly because they are so innocent and sweet when they do it.
  • My inlaws always touch my belly, I don't usually mind and they can tell enough from me if I'm in a good mood or not.

    On the other hand though when it comes yo complete strangers thats another story. My SO had a Christmas party for his work a few weeks ago and a few of his co-workers had a few to many and came up to me and rubbed my belly, most said sorry after they saw the dirty look I gave them; I politely just told them to ask first.

    But the next one shocked me, he asked, which was fine (I thought he would of just patted it and walked off, like most people) but then he kept touching it and it started to make me uncomfortable.... too top it off he then started comparing me to his gf who is also pregnant and actually a few weeks behind me. Saying how hers isn't as round and glorious, I snapped, and put him in his place. It was creepy, and beyond disrespectful to me, his gf, and every other pregnant women.

    I totally reemed him out for it.
  • With #1 a custodian in the hospital that I worked at cornered me in an elevator and did this giant double-handed swirly rub. I was so shocked and weirded out; that was my first experience like that. He was an older man, and I know he didn't mean any harm, but it was really upsetting for me.
    With #2 one of the docs I worked for (I was no longer working, just visiting) rubbed my belly while I was sitting in a chair and I was only like 12 weeks – he was patting way low. He's super awesome but super socially awkward. I think he was embarrassed by himself, so I just laughed.
    With #3 I was picking out some chicken from the meat chest at the grocery store one day, and this woman came up behind me and reached under my arm (and between me and my cart with my two toddlers in it) and touched my belly. I elbowed her in the chest really hard when I jerked back and turned. I said "what the hell are you doing?!" And she was so stunned she just stammered around and looked really sorry and backed away. Also really upsetting; I mean not only was a stranger touching my body unexpectedly, but she had put herself between me and my other kids.
    Most of my friends know that if they want to feel my belly they need permission and I need to see them coming. I still hate it, but I can endure it for a moment under those circumstances.
    @arcanejinx my husband does the same thing to me … “what's wrong?” Dude, this is just my face. He's always like “the RBF is strong today” haha!

    March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality

    Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09) 
    AP, BF, BW, CD, CLW, CS, ERF, Catholic mama 
    to Evan (7/'10), Clare (8/'11), Dean (3/'14), ^F(12/'15)^, Rose (3/'16)
    *no longer a Timelord ~ WibblyWobbly BabyWaby is here!*
    <3 but i still feel bigger on the inside <3
     Autism mama! 
  • I have a good resting bitch face as well. It has kept all strangers at bay so far. :) I don't mind people that I know touching my belly......but random strangers are NOT allowed near the belly.

    Also, for the people that make the "You're huge comments" or "Wow,  you got so big" comments....I tend to forget my filter and say not so nice things back to them......the last one was from a lady I used to work with, that I didn't like. She said "Wow, you got HUUUGE! And you still have so LONG to go, You're going to be gigantic!" My response was along the lines of "At least I am getting fat because I am pregnant. What's you're excuse?" I know it was childish and uncalled for on my part, but I think she finally realized what she was saying was NOT a compliment......


    January siggy challenge - Pregnant lady problems


     


  • With #1 a custodian in the hospital that I worked at cornered me in an elevator and did this giant double-handed swirly rub. I was so shocked and weirded out; that was my first experience like that. He was an older man, and I know he didn't mean any harm, but it was really upsetting for me.
    With #2 one of the docs I worked for (I was no longer working, just visiting) rubbed my belly while I was sitting in a chair and I was only like 12 weeks – he was patting way low. He's super awesome but super socially awkward. I think he was embarrassed by himself, so I just laughed.
    With #3 I was picking out some chicken from the meat chest at the grocery store one day, and this woman came up behind me and reached under my arm (and between me and my cart with my two toddlers in it) and touched my belly. I elbowed her in the chest really hard when I jerked back and turned. I said "what the hell are you doing?!" And she was so stunned she just stammered around and looked really sorry and backed away. Also really upsetting; I mean not only was a stranger touching my body unexpectedly, but she had put herself between me and my other kids.
    Most of my friends know that if they want to feel my belly they need permission and I need to see them coming. I still hate it, but I can endure it for a moment under those circumstances.
    @arcanejinx my husband does the same thing to me … “what's wrong?” Dude, this is just my face. He's always like “the RBF is strong today” haha!


    Wow!!! Crazy encounters!! I'd definitely label those as creepy.
  • People don't generally notice I'm pregnant by looking at me. People who know I'm pregnant and aren't strangers I'm ok with them touching my belly. A stranger on the street would bother and I would have say something to them. Also in Pennsylvania there is actually a law against it since 2013.
  • I would never in my wildest dreams just reach out and touch stranger. How bizarre that people think just because there is a baby in there that it is suddenly ok?!?

    No awkward encounters here...yet. Pretty sure I am in the RBF boat that keeps strangers at bay. When I am out and about I also tend to move in a hurry so that might keep the weirdos away as well. I thought I would, but I don't really mind family or close friends touching the bump.

    Me: 29  DH: 31
    Married 10/13/12
    TTC Since 8/2016

  • A good bitch face and a swift hand swat are all I need. If you didn't put baby here, you can't touch the belly. I swear I need that as a t-shirt!
  • Maybe ladies without the RBF should start wearing these.....

    image

    image



    January siggy challenge - Pregnant lady problems


     


  • Long live RBF.  Maybe that's why I've never had an issue through all of these pregnancies.  I used to think it was a curse.
    DS1 - 9/21/11
    DS2 - 7/4/14
    DS3 - 2/21/16
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Our family of 5 is complete!!  Love our boys!

  • Maybe some of it is a regional thing? I live in the south AND a small town and it's nothing to stop and have conversations with complete strangers while shopping. It's actually pretty weird or sometimes even considered rude not to talk to anyone at all around here.

    I can definitely see how in different areas and different cities this could be odd, though.
  • sahmrey said:

    Maybe some of it is a regional thing? I live in the south AND a small town and it's nothing to stop and have conversations with complete strangers while shopping. It's actually pretty weird or sometimes even considered rude not to talk to anyone at all around here.

    I can definitely see how in different areas and different cities this could be odd, though.

    While it is quite common to stop and have a conversation with complete (usually elder) strangers, it's not common to have a complete stranger touching you. I'm from the south too.
    image
    March '16 December Siggy Challenge - Favorite Christmas Movies/Quotes
  •  

    While it is quite common to stop and have a conversation with complete (usually elder) strangers, it's not common to have a complete stranger touching you. I'm from the south too.
    ^^^^This. So this. I live in a mildly urban area. Not a small town, but not big city like Chicago either. I have no problem striking up a conversation with a random stranger. But that does not mean its ok for any stranger to touch me....lol.


    January siggy challenge - Pregnant lady problems


     


  • Today I had a lady reach out for my belly and then pull her hand back, like she wasnt thinking and had to stop herself. The awkward embarrassed look on her face was really funny. The big/small saga annoys me though! Everyone seems to have an opinion on the size of my belly, and just as many people tell me its large for my stage as tell me its small for my stage. Neither is a compliment, and its very frustrating!! Im not sure why it annoys me, but it sure is inapropriate!
  • Um yeah. What irks me way more is hugs from anyone other than my hubby. I'm NOT a touchy person and my MIL insists on a hug whenever we greet and part ways. Ex-on Thanksgiving I was literally pulling a pan out of the oven when she arrived, and she hugged me from behind while saying "I have to give you a hug hello!" 10 yrs of this and it's never bothered me more!!! How to stop the hugging... I'm all ears (maybe that'll get the point across re: the belly touching too!)
  • kynbar5 said:
    Maybe some of it is a regional thing? I live in the south AND a small town and it's nothing to stop and have conversations with complete strangers while shopping. It's actually pretty weird or sometimes even considered rude not to talk to anyone at all around here. I can definitely see how in different areas and different cities this could be odd, though.
    While it is quite common to stop and have a conversation with complete (usually elder) strangers, it's not common to have a complete stranger touching you. I'm from the south too.
    Lurking from April.

    Also from the south, and no, that doesn't make it ok to touch me.
  • MNGrl24 said:
    Um yeah. What irks me way more is hugs from anyone other than my hubby. I'm NOT a touchy person and my MIL insists on a hug whenever we greet and part ways. Ex-on Thanksgiving I was literally pulling a pan out of the oven when she arrived, and she hugged me from behind while saying "I have to give you a hug hello!" 10 yrs of this and it's never bothered me more!!! How to stop the hugging... I'm all ears (maybe that'll get the point across re: the belly touching too!)
    This I find to be a pick your battles thing. Maybe offer up the hugs but let her know that belly touching makes you uncomfortable? I know a lot of people are super weird about touching but she is your MIL and she is just showing affection so if it were me I'd suck it up when it came to the hugs.

    Me: 29  DH: 31
    Married 10/13/12
    TTC Since 8/2016

  • @flowerpower5838 you're probably right, sigh. I'm just not a hugger and we're not particularly close so it's one of those things that just annoys me... though I know she means well. I swear I'm not a meanie!!
  • Eehh I like the being pregnant attention! I'm a FTM mom so this is all new to me!! Only my friends have touched my belly so far but maybe that's because people just think I'm fat! I had this little elderly woman talk to me after I had helped her find some items ask me about when I was due and if I knew what I was having. But she didn't reach out and grab my belly or anything! I probably wouldn't have minded anyways since we had been talking a while. Maybe when I'm bigger people will gravitate towards my belly more but we will see!

    Ew but if someone came up to me and started kissing my belly unless it's my DH Id probably freak the fck out!!
  • @Mcbb224 i too am a FTM but i cant stand random ppl touching my belly.. Like ppl really poke my stomach and pat it i find that very irritating then when i give the death stare they stop.. Like why try to attempt without asking.. I had one coworker poke my stomach like i was Pillsbury dough boy and say oh my when are you due..? She saw my face and apologized. I dont think i would have a problem if ppl would just ask..smh.
  • Yes, I am a nurse practitioner and a 50 year old man that was a first time patient touched my stomach.
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"