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June 2016 Moms
AmberLiz99
member
Announced today. Mixed feelings
AmberLiz99
member
We had our NT scan, and since all was good I told my parents and after my husband sent out our announcement to friends and the rest of the family. This is our third. Our kids are currently 4 and 1 1/2.
My mom's response: "I was pretty sure you were pregnant. You're brave, I'm sure you can do it." Umm, thanks?! Her kids were all 4-5 years apart and she thinks I'm crazy. So much for our usual great relationship.
Most of the others have been very nice with a few "I wondered" comments (I guess being sick, carrying around a water bottle, and having to ask friends to watch your kids for doctors appointments will tip them off).
Anyway, happy to be at the end if first tri, and I'm going to try to be excited despite my parents reaction.
My mom's response: "I was pretty sure you were pregnant. You're brave, I'm sure you can do it." Umm, thanks?! Her kids were all 4-5 years apart and she thinks I'm crazy. So much for our usual great relationship.
Most of the others have been very nice with a few "I wondered" comments (I guess being sick, carrying around a water bottle, and having to ask friends to watch your kids for doctors appointments will tip them off).
Anyway, happy to be at the end if first tri, and I'm going to try to be excited despite my parents reaction.
Re: Announced today. Mixed feelings
My mom is beside herself and checks in with me all the time. I'm able to go to her for advice. I'd love to go to MIL for advice as a bonding experience but she ignored me the few times I reached out.
I decided to focus my time and energy on those who are excited and not worry about those who seemingly don't care. Plus, I'd rather have people in my child's life who want to be there and not out of force.
Are your friends and other family excited for you? That can help take the sting away.
My one brother has been nice about it. They just had their first and are one and done, but he seems legitimately happy for me. I've gotten a few nice messages from friends, which is really nice. (I know some others won't be as nice in person, but I haven't had to deal with that yet.)
Thanks for being a great support group
My family, on the other hand, loved it. They all hugged us, congratulated our kids, my 93-year old grandpa was thrilled.
I was thinking about surprising DH's family on Xmas by finding out the gender, but now I'm not since they don't give a s***.
Wow-I feel better saying all of that.
Umm. Thanks? Huh? What? I don't know how to respond to that. We both want more kids- it's not like we are gonna say "oh- well since the statistics are not in our favor--- let's not have another baby- just in case our marital happiness goes down." DUMB.
My parents had 3 and were divorced--- which I am guessing is her reason behind telling me of this all the time? Anyways- she has only mentioned it once since I told her I was pregnant... She said she heard these peoples story on the radio... They had three kids and what do ya know! They ALMOST got divorced but then miraculously saved their marriage. Sigh* I am never ready for a good and respectful response but if it continues, I have GOT to say something.
DST T4L
I've had some really bum reactions from our family, especially the in laws. Their reaction: not liking how we told them and saying we would probably lose it (due to IVF) so don't tell anyone.
Try to assume positive intent on your mom's part, for your own sake. Maybe she thinks three kids of those ages would be hard for anyone and she's just trying to show that she understands that it's not easy. I think I'd rather have my mom think it isn't easy. Maybe then she'd be more apt to be helpful and sympathetic than if she thought it was easy breezy and taking my life for granted.
I'm pregnant with my third too (DS1 is 3.25 and DS2 is 1.5). I feel almost apologetic when I tell people that I'm pregnant with a third. It's like we've exceeded some unspoken limit. I am sad that I feel that way and am working on not feeling that way. I know three kids and zone defense will challenge how far we can stretch our resources like time, money, availability, patience but its more love, more hugs, more people around the table, more support for the kids as they have siblings to rely on, more people to look after us when we're older.
I am expect negative reactions when we tell our families too. We plan to tell at Christmas to help soften the blow. I will be almost 16 weeks. This is our first child and was totally unplanned. I think my FIL will be happy. MIL on the other hand is going to be pissed.... She knows DH and I have been having some problems and decided to unfriend and blocked me on Facebook and refuse to talk to me (so mature). So I am expecting an extremely negative reaction from her. I already told DH that if she starts talking badly that I plan on telling her that all her negativity is doing is making her look bad and that it won't change anything. He's totally on board with that.
My parents will be more of the "where will you live?" "Can you afford it" type. I'm ok with that to an extent...
Super nervous to tell everyone!
Eh - She doesn't understand and is worried that it'll be hard. She doesn't have to understand but maybe let her know that part of being supportive includes some cheer.
Edit: I don't think I did a good job of conveying that I think it stinks and I'm sorry - because it does and I am. Every baby deserves to be celebrated.
Maybe my family is the exception, but I feel like my husband and I have been happier both individually and as a couple since our third.
(Every name we've come up with is British too.) it's going to come out in tweed asking for mushy pees and calling the subway the tube.
@PressLove so spot on! Actually caught myself almost asking my friend if her and her husband had thought about when they would have another. Their baby girl turns 1 in two weeks! Thankfully I realized what an asshole comment that would be and zipped my lip. I'm sure they get it from others though! Redonkulous! I tell people I want 3 kids and they always say 'get through one first and then see' with a semi-nasty laugh like I'm an idiot. I don my expert level RB face and just stare at them. Are they really implying that the child in my womb will be so damaging to my happiness I will decide never again to procreate? GTFO.
Uhhhh.....WHAT?!