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Pregnant after a Loss
keeperoftwilight
member
I don't normally do this.... But I could use some guidance....
keeperoftwilight
member
Back in February my husband and I lost our son at 32 weeks, and I gave birth to my stillborn Isaac. I'm pregnant now, it's been going on 10 months since we've lost him, and I feel like I'm in a much better place to handle being pregnant with our second child. But how do you stay calm? And not worry? I'm almost out of the first trimester, doctors say I'm 8w6d but that will be determined by the ultrasound I have next Tuesday, and with Isaac I didn't give that sigh of safe relief until I was finally into my third trimester. I'm scared something will happen again though we've had to kind of throw it all up to what happened being a fluke in Isaac's DNA. We didn't get any results back from any testing they did on him. The doctor who delivered Isaac told me that she didn't believe that this would happen a second time and we can't do any genetic testing until we've sadly lost another child. I've been told that I'll be high risk and see a high risk doctor by not only the doctor who delivered but also by the doctor I was seeing during my pregnancy with Isaac, but I'm afraid that they're going to tell me because they didn't find anything wrong with him that they'll want me to go through this as a normal pregnancy. I've already had spotting and went to the ER twice because I was scared. I was told Monday that it was just hemorrhaging of the placenta and that it should resolve itself, well I haven't had any spotting since then which is a positive. But I'm just scared. My husband is military so we're dealing with base doctors.
Sorry this sort of sounds like I'm rambling. I'm just one scared hormonal momma waiting on her mac n cheese to cook. lol
Sorry this sort of sounds like I'm rambling. I'm just one scared hormonal momma waiting on her mac n cheese to cook. lol
Re: I don't normally do this.... But I could use some guidance....
My next u/s is scheduled for 6w5d and I asked if I can also come in before Christmas, at 8+ weeks to confirm everything is alright before I announce to my family. (The last two times, I told them the day I found out. How things change.) Anyway, he agreed to the u/s. So I definitely recommend asking your dr to see you more often because of what you've been through. It can't hurt to ask.
I wish I had a magical cure for the worry, but perhaps just knowing you're not alone will help.
By the way -- I was planning mac n cheese for dinner.
BFP 2/19/15 • MMC found at 9 wks • D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
BFP 8/29/15 • CP (age 37)
TTC#2 since May 2017
BFP 10/18/17 • MMC found at 8 wks • Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
BFP 2/16/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 4/13/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 5/07/18 • MMC found at 10.5 wks • D&E at 11.5 wks • Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
BFP 9/24/18 • CP (age 40)
I'm so sorry, I can't imagine your heartbreak. I think this really struck me because I have a little boy named Isaac. I'm on pregnancy #4 and hoping all will go well this time after two miscarriages. I know they won't do genetic testing on you but can you opt for the blood test at around 10 weeks or the sequential screen at 11-14 weeks and then again at around 16 to get more information? I know it won't completely resolve your fears, but perhaps it would help? Mine is covered by insurance because of my age but even out of pocket might be worth it if it would help calm some of your fears? My friend opted to pay for the blood draw screen at ten weeks and it was about $300 out of pocket. I know military healthcare is obnoxious but perhaps you could just go to a lab and have the results sent to your dr?
It's so hard to hear them say it's unlikely to happen again when that does nothing to ease the anxiety and fear. I'll hope for the best for you!
And knowing that I'm not alone definitely does help. Thank you. ^_^
This mac n cheese is amazing. It's like I haven't had anything better on Earth.
I finally found a fertility specialist will billed my insurance as if I had more losses. He said, Has your period ever been late? I said, Of course it has. He said, That could have been an early loss, a chemical pregnancy. Then he tested me.
Me: 42, DH: 46, Married: 11/12
Losses: MMC#1 11/12 BO, MC#2 11/13 at 8w BO?, MMC#3 8/14 chromo healthy M @12 weeks, stopped growing at 10.
Negligible AMH, FSH finally went high. Pursued DE.
DD born at 38w2d on 5-27-16. Finally!!
Pregnant again with OE. EDD 11/9/17 Girl!
The closer I get to the 28 week mark when I lost my daughter the more stressed I get... No movement so far, and I never felt movement once with my daughter, and to me this is extremely alarming. But no doctor seems to care.
Sorry for my rant .. Just amazed that you don't have much of an explaination for Isaac's death either, and I think the unknown is much scarier
As for my advice, don't take any bullsh*t from the doctors. You ARE high risk and don't let them change their mind. You deserve just as much close attention as anyone else with an obvious condition. And try to relax, I don't think I just curl up on the couch enough and take a breather . Good luck girlie. Praying for you and your little one