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October 2015 Moms
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Dreading Daycare

hmhierholzerhmhierholzer member
in October 2015 Moms
My daughter will be 12 weeks old next week, which means my maternity leave will be over :( I am completely terrified of taking her to daycare. We need 2 incomes, so being a SAHM is unfortunately not an option. If you're in a similar situation, what are you doing to cope? I try to think positive about it, but can't keep myself from worrying that something will happen to her when she's not in my care.
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Re: Dreading Daycare

  • jasminelukejasmineluke member
    I don't have advice cuz I wil be Doing the Same in 4 weeks ... Looking to see what others say!
    Just know you are not alone in the way you feel!
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  • mak1020mak1020 member
    I don't have any advice either. I am lucky enough to have my parents taking car if LO until Jan then he will be going into daycare. I will be returning to work in 2 weeks :(. I am dreading putting him in daycare. The one I chose is a small one out of a church but I'm still dreading it.
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  • ameares721ameares721 member
    My LO will be 12 weeks on Sunday and I start back Monday. She will be going three days a week and we started this week to ease the transition so her first day wasn't my first day back to work. I go to breastfeed her during lunch which helps. She had some trouble her first day because she is struggling to bottle feed so she was hungry which broke my heart, but we are seeing a specialist tomorrow to get help with bottle feeding. Today I went and she was napping on one of the ladies who was rocking her and it made me so happy to see she was doing okay! I like that she gets to be around other babies and they offer structured learning, outside time (which she loves!), tummy time, reading time, etc.

    The first day they called me an hour after I left with questions about her feeding times. They didn't want to mess up her schedule (we don't really keep one). I noticed they were just as worried about her issues with the bottle as I was and thought it was something they were doing wrong. They were very supportive of helping try different bottles!

    While she was there yesterday I went for a massage/adjustment at the chiropractor. Today I went to get my hair done. Tomorrow she will go for about 3 hours and I'll probably go get my eyebrows done. It's important that I feel put together on the outside when I go back to work because I know I'll be a mess inside and I don't want anyone to think I can't balance work and being a mom!
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  • jasminelukejasmineluke member
    For those ladies using daycare ... What is the ratio of caretaker to baby?
    The one I am considering is 4 to 1.
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  • TelebellTelebell member
    I bet you'll come to love daycare, I know we did with our first! Our daycare provider's daughter is like a sister to our older daughter. Even though we moved away from that daycare and had to switch, we still get the girls together and they truly love each other. It's very natural for kids to be watched in groups everywhere in the world, and by people other than just their moms, so your kid will be in great company. It's nice for your kid to have several "good guys" adults in her life.

    Being in a group setting also helped our DD get comfortable with other kids and now, at 2.5, she's really well socialized. Trust me, chances are very very good that you'll be a daycare cheerleader before long. The adjustment can be hard but you'll get used to it soon.
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  • chein1chein1 member
    DD1 was in the same daycare from 10 weeks old until she turned 2. Only reason she left is because my mom is retiring to watch my girls once my maternity leave is over. I loved our daycare and so did my daughter. We picked a home daycare because that is our personal preference, but it's wonderful that DD learned there are various authority figures not just mom and dad. I also loved how comfortable she was and how much she looked forward to seeing children and adults besides myself and my husband.
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  • meganraschkemeganraschke member
    I can empathize with you. My LO was supposed to start day care today and I ended up calling into work for just one more day to spend with him. It's rough sending them out into the world this young
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  • whitemn04whitemn04 member
    I don't go back to work until Jan 4. My mom is taking care of LO for the first month (I work 12 hour days so it's 15ish days). My only saving grace to transition to day care is I am from a really small town,1300 people, so I know several people that take their kids to this facility and I know the manager. Plus a guy I work with, his wife cares for the babies and i know she's a good mommy so I trust her care. Other than that I'm already having anxiety not being with him.
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  • BryDientaBryDienta member
    I started back to work Monday and it has actually been easier than I thought it would be.  We are very lucky that we don't have to put LO in daycare right now but I thought it would still be hard being away from my little guy all day.  While I was home on maternity leave I made sure I took at least one day a week and spent several hours without him to get used to it and I have to say that made the transition a lot easier.  I still miss seeing him all day but it makes getting home at night that much better.
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  • lrichardson11486lrichardson11486 member
    I am dreading daycare as well, but I keep reminding myself of 2 things: first, I spent a ton of time searching out daycares, visiting places, and doing research, so it helps me to know that I've seen what's out there and feel really good about the person I chose. Beyond that I have to just have faith that she will take great care if my LO. Second, I remind myself that it will be good for him to be around other people, both kids and adults, for his own development and growth. Of course I wish I could stay home with him, but it's good for me to go to work and have a break and my own identity outside of being his mom too. Hope this helps!
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  • makeoutside7makeoutside7 member
    My daughter is only 7 weeks old and started daycare this week. My advice would be to build a close relationship with and communicate a lot with her caregiver. My baby's teacher sends me updates and pictures through out the day. It's quite reassuring as I cried my eyes out the week before. It's so hard leaving her every morning...she is still so little but I'm in the same boat...we need two incomes. It's hard but I know she is in good hands. Any licensed daycare's ratio it 4:1 for infants/toddlers is no matter where you go. Teachers in licensed daycares should have already been trained in first aid, SIDS, and CPR certified. It gets easier, hang in there mommies. <3 

      FTM due 11/06/2015
    Married 09/21/2013
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  • capricelilicapricelili member
    I go back to work jan 4th when lo will be 12 weeks. I'm completely stressed about it. I'm trying to figure out things I can do this month to make the transition easier. We already tackled the bottle, so it's a relief that he can take milk that way, but he only can nap if he's lulled to sleep breastfeeding while being held. So I'm planning on going about his schedule more like it will be when in daycare. I'll start bottle feeding during the day and teaching him to nap on his own. I just don't know how!
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  • kelsojohnsokelsojohnso member
    I literally just broke up with our daycare lady.. I popped in for an unscheduled visit yesterday and was mortified... Granted our little sweetheart hasn't started there yet (she was scheduled to start on the 14th ). I am so glad I popped in! Definitely not up to code and standard. So I pulled the trigger and enrolled her in a daycare center instead of the at-home daycare. Initially I wanted someone more personal, but now I feel security with the state regulations in a center instead.

    Don't be afraid to be picky ladies!
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  • ameares721ameares721 member
    @kelsojohnso oh my goodness!!! What did you find that made you change your mind?!
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  • akfbookwormakfbookworm member
    @kelsojohnso not sure what state you're in, but in Arkansas in home daycares have to meet state regulations also. Depending on what changed your mind you might want to report them to your local DHS office. You should also be able to find the minimum licensing requirements for your state online and reports for local centers.
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  • kelsojohnsokelsojohnso member
    She had too many kids for just being one provider. I know the state min/max ratios because I just finished schooling for child development and preschool education. She told us back in August her mom worked there too.. The other day when I was asking about the number of kids she said it wasn't bad on the days that her mom was there.. I was confused because I was under the impression that her mom was always there (they would be okay for numbers if mom was always there)

    Also the place was a mess, and she showed me where my baby would be sleeping and it was an old up pack and play... Then this guy came up out of the basement in sweat pants.. She didn't bother introducing him. I had to ask who the heck it was.. Her husband.. (She never mentioned him in our initial visit in August and I thought it was strange he was there)

    Basically it was all just gut feeling stuff minus the numbers being off. Like idk, the other kids looked fine but they were all older.. I just didn't feel comfortable leaving my tiny infant there.
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  • kelsojohnsokelsojohnso member
    Like all the kids were having fun so I feel like the place is just fine for older kids but she was not equipped to take an infant.
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  • jasminelukejasmineluke member
    kelsojohnso said:

    Like all the kids were having fun so I feel like the place is just fine for older kids but she was not equipped to take an infant.

    From what it sounds I would agree with your decision. Especially if there is an individual there that you weren't informed of .. Even if it is just the husband.
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  • LittlehummingbirdLittlehummingbird member
    I go back to work end of January and my lo will be going to a daycare center 3 days a week. I love that he'll be learning, having structure, and socializing! I see the the cost of daycare as an investment in his education. I'm sure I'll be sad leaving him but I think it will be good for both us!
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