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May 2016 Moms
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Flexibility with work after the baby comes?

businessmamabusinessmama member
in May 2016 Moms
Hello everyone!

My husband and I both have jobs that are ~40 minutes (on a good day) from home. We are often gone from 6:40a to 5:10p each day. I've read articles online, but I'm curious if anyone in our group has had conversations with their boss with this upcoming child or a previous one about flexibility with hours -

Did you provide recommendations on what could work? How did you begin the conversation? Did  you suggest working from home all the time or part-time? Shifting hours or going part time? I know my current schedule doesn't work, and even though I can do my job from anywhere (mostly computer, but in person meetings with buyers every couple of weeks), I do work in a regional office so they expect some time in person. Unsure how to handle as 3 others have newborns in my office, but they all have at least one stay at home parent or live 10 minutes away.

Advice, please :)
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Re: Flexibility with work after the baby comes?

  • swflJDswflJD member
    I am an attorney for a large corporation, and I can do most of my job remotely if I need to. Fortunately, I didn't have to start the conversation with my boss. He is very pro-family, and as soon as I told him I was expecting, he suggested that I work from home for a while after my maternity leave is up and/or go part time for a while. He basically said we would do whatever works for me when the time comes. My office is about a half hour commute from my house, so that would be very helpful. We have an on-site day care that I eventually plan to use, but they do not accept infants under 6 weeks old. So, I plan to work primarily from home for at least the first few months and have MH plan his off days around the days I have important meetings so I can get face time at the office and he can be home with LO.  

    I would see if you could work from home more after you have your baby and just come into the office on days when you have important meetings. It wouldn't necessarily have to be part time (unless you or your employer wanted it to). A lot will depend on how flexible your employer can/wants to be. If others in your office have LOs, I would talk to them. Even if their situations are somewhat different, they would at least be able to give you an idea of how much flexibility to expect from your management.
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  • emma+karenemma+karen member
    With our son (who's almost 3) when I started my new job last year with a much longer commute, it was clear I was no longer going to be able to do daycare dropoff.  My wife talked to her boss ahead of time and got permission to come in about half an hour later so that she could drop him off.  Her boss wasn't happy about it at first, but eventually realized that it was a minor inconvenience at work but a huge, huge help to us, and was understanding.  My wife is also very conscientious about going in on time on days when I don't have work or have professional development with a later start time, so that I'm able to do drop off once in awhile.  Additionally, I've talked to my boss and some days (like today) when my wife is out of town and I HAVE to do drop off, my boss is understanding about me being a little bit late.  Open and honest conversation is the best policy in my opinion!

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  • jumpy57jumpy57 member
    I'm glad you started this thread! I have a related question...my boss is very flexible and I will be able to work from home most of the week. Can anyone share their experiences working from home with a baby? What can I expect?
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  • businessmamabusinessmama member
    @swflJD, I'm so happy for you that they are so positive and pro-family! I wish my boss would broach the subject, but I know it is my responsibility. He made comments a few weeks ago about how he thinks people who work from home don't actually work (though I feel that I've proven myself countless times), but knowing his mindset is making me dread the conversation.

    I love your suggestions on maybe doing something right after the baby - hopefully he can see that I'm still doing my job, but making meetings a priority. Thank you!

    @emma+karen, thank you as well. I think being open about how important it is to me is the only way he will really understand.

    Did either of you put together a formal proposal or did you just talk through it?

    @eerin86 - Ha! I'm glad.. I see people on the boards complain about how messy it is, but I felt this was relevant. This is my first so no experience from me, but hopefully you get your answers!

    p.s. I'm on my computer and not sure if the tags work so please forgive me if they don't. Unsure how to tag as they don't automatically suggest people like my phone does :)
     
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  • missnc77missnc77 member
    @EErin86 - There was another thread a few months back that had a discussion related to working from home and child care, but I don't remember the actual topic of the thread. I'm a FTM, so no experience working from home with baby, but I try to picture my job from home and having an infant, and it would be impossible. I'm pretty busy, have to be available to the director on a whim, and I have conference calls that I have to take. There's no way I can be a full-time mom and a full-time remote employee, so I'm going to do daycare once the baby arrives. That said, I've heard complaints from my stay at home mom friends that it's hard to get a moment of quiet or to even take a shower, and since I work from home, I can shower on my lunch break. I can also grocery shop, start prepping dinner, do laundry, etc within my normal work routine. That'll be a huge help, as if I worked in office, I'd have to do all that stuff after work. Now I can just be a mom when I pick the little one up when that time comes. :)
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  • emma+karenemma+karen member
     

    @emma+karen, thank you as well. I think being open about how important it is to me is the only way he will really understand.

    Did either of you put together a formal proposal or did you just talk through it?


     
    We both just talked through it with our respective bosses (I think my wife talked to her boss in the context of a formal, scheduled check-in meeting).  It certainly couldn't help to have something in writing to help talk it through, though...a commitment to put in a little extra work at home after the baby is in bed, an offer to take on an extra duty or responsibility during the work day, something like that, to show you're still fully planning to put in 100% effort at work, you just need a little flexibility on times.

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  • jumpy57jumpy57 member
    @missnc77 I remember a bunch of posts about child care and working but haven't seen anything about what it is like actually working from home (maybe it was under a weird title?)
    I'm lucky my work is mostly just writing that I can do in chunks during the day. Eventually I think my husband can work one day a week at home and my MIL can babysit on Fridays so I will be able to get some adult time at the office and use the printer. I also envision story time being a lot of me reading environmental regulations out loud, at least it should put baby to sleep quickly :wink:
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  • MercielMerciel member
    I walk to work (about 20 minutes) and have extremely flexible hours that I can more or less set myself, as long as I get all my work done, so I don't think it will be any difference at all once the baby comes. If anything, I'll probably start keeping more regular hours -- currently I roll into the office anywhere from 2 to 5 pm and leave whenever I get my work done for the day, and I'll likely have to move that schedule around some once I have to worry about daycare or school or whatever.

    I guess court dates might be an issue, but my particular job only involves going to court a few times a year (if that), so even that shouldn't be a huge problem.

    Anyway, because this has been default mode at my job for years, I haven't had a formal conversation with my boss about it yet, because I don't anticipate that it's really going to be much of a change.
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  • jdrdnrjdrdnr member
    @EErin86 I actually work from home and did so before having a little one a year ago. Honestly the first 10-11 months are the easiest while working from home. I work a normal schedule at home and now hat she's 15 months it is harder because she is always trying to get my phone or the computer while I'm on it and she's not quite at all. I get the majority of the harder work done while she naps and it's quite and then the rest of the time I just do the best I can. I will go part time after this baby comes as 2 under 2 at home while working will be a little harder!
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  • Pascal86Pascal86 member
    I work for a super small company, and my boss implemented Work From Home Wednesdays about a year ago. So, unrelated to pregnancy, but makes life easier and breaks up the week. Also worried about dealing with that once the baby is here though!
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  • babykasperbabykasper member
    So I work from home and my husband works from home one to two days a week... But at my previous job, I went to an office and I had a conversation with my boss about flexible hours.

    I started my work day in the office at 7am and I was out th door by 4pm. This was mostly to avoid rush hour traffic and also because my spouse and I were sharing a car. They were good about it, as long as I dialed into our 4:30 conference call everyday for sales updates. I could have done my job at home and also had worked from home on occasion but hopefully your boss is good about it and open to it!

    Good luck!
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  • businessmamabusinessmama member
    @babykasper thanks so much! It's going to be tough because his wife is sahm so he sometimes just doesn't get it. I've planted the seed I need flexibility so I'm hoping to discuss in further details soon.

    at what point would yall recommend coming together to formally discuss? When I'm five, six, seven months? Or should it be as early as possible?

    Basically, my mother has rotating days off each week but will want to be with the baby when she is off. I'd really like to work from home 2 days a week. My husband could do another one so at max our baby is in childcare two days a week but I know they usually want set days so it's just kind of chicken and egg mess. Do I talk to my boss to come up with plans first or should I do all the work on daycare research before I even get an approval?
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  • babykasperbabykasper member
    As a manager I hate it when my staff come to me with problems without having thought of a solution to go along with it (even if their solution doesn't work, at least I know they are willing to look at the whole picture and not just come with a problem! Lol so my suggestion would be to have several well thought out options of what YOU consider flexibility that would work for your specific situation. And yes... Schedule the time on his/her calendar. That way he knows it's serious and not just some fly by night thought, ya know.

    This way you can discuss each option or course of action that might work, and tell him you are open to other ideas if he has any also... That way it's more of a dialogue and not just a "this is what I need, make sure I get it" type of conversation! :)

    Hope this helps!
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  • GoatSnakeMouseGoatSnakeMouse member
    As a business owner, I would be happy to accommodate a flex schedule for anybody who needed one, so long as the work was getting done. However, I would NOT be open to an arrangement where the person was working from home and also the primary caretaker of a child/infant. Taking care of little ones is a LOT of work and the employer is almost definitely going to get shortchanged in that situation. Basically, if you're working from home, I expect you to actually be working.
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  • businessmamabusinessmama member
    @babykasper and @GoatSnakeMouse this is so incredibly helpful thank you! I think I'll put together some options based on your feed and I totally hear you on the work. It's mainly because I want to have a mother's helper at the house- I agree it wouldn't be fair to watch the baby on my own and work on those days, but I'd love to nurse in my own home and see them on lunch, etc.
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  • slh812slh812 member
    i would say it depends a lot on your child. My first never wanted to be put down and wanted constant attention. He would take twenty minute naps only. I would have never been able to work from home by myself with him. It would never have worked! So I found a job that is more flexible and allows me to work from home part time and two hours of the work from home portion of the day are his nap time. Hope this helps!
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  • businessmamabusinessmama member
    I wanted to follow up on this with the results.

    At my annual review, I created a one-pager that noted my job duties, which would be performed at work vs. at home, and three flexible options that listed the benefits for (first) the employer and (second) for myself. I ended the document with a Ways to Ensure Success section, where I listed that I would open up my calendar for viewing, set up check-ins with the team, provide status reports/expected work on my days WFH, and then a plan to regroup in 6 months to ensure it was still working for everyone.

    I also said that I was open to discuss other options that worked for him, as nobody in our office currently WFH on a regular basis. While I originally proposed working 4 days or all 5 days, with 2 from home, my boss agreed to allow me to work Fridays from home.

    Definitely happy that he was willing to discuss and compromise.

    Thank you to all the ladies who helped me decide on what to put into my document - I really feel going in with a solid plan helped him see how serious I was to make this work for everyone!
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  • Chappy_jrChappy_jr member
    edited March 2016
    I will be starting a new job in August.  The office is about two hours from my house and my DH did not want to move because he likes his job, which is 30 minutes away from our hours in the opposite direction.  Part of my negotiations when I accepted their offer was that I could work from home at least three days a week since it is largely writing/research based.  However, I also knew that they offer ALL employees the ability to work from home one day a week so I figured it was worth a shot but I also recognized that I will need the face-to-face meetings and chance to collaborate in person occasionally and that there may be weeks when I will to be in the office more than twice.

    I would work out some different scenarios that you could present to them and explain how each would make you more efficient.

    As for working from home with an infant IN the house with you, I attempted it with my DS.  It basically turned into me taking care of him and the house all day (since he didn't nap) and catching up on work at nights/weekends.  It was incredibly stressful.  This time, we are planning for MIL to take care of the baby but still be around the house quite a bit so I can nurse directly and limit pumping so I'm having to carve out a desk space in our bedroom so I can shut the door and have privacy.
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  • KKnight1154KKnight1154 member
    We're going through the same thing. Both MH and I leave the house around 6:30 am and I don't get home until 6pm with normal traffic. My employer is not flexible at all. They don't believe in working remotely, they are not flexible with anyone's schedule, they don't believe in part time work, and there's no onsite daycare. Luckily there's a fantastic daycare about 5 minutes away from my office. We're going to take it one step at a time and see if it's really worth me working once LO is here and see if I go stir crazy during maternity leave. Plus it will also give us an idea of what we can handle financially since half of my leave is unpaid. 
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