Just feeling alone, need to vent

mamabudd · December 2015

I had a scare today, with bright red bleeding over the weekend and then the midwives being unable to find a heartbeat this morning. They sent me to the hospital for an ultrasound, but there was a few hours between the two appointments, and they were the longest three hours of my life. I was so certain I had miscarried. I spent the entire time crying and feeling like I was going to throw up. In the end, the ultrasound tech did show me the heartbeat and told me everything was okay, but it was just such an emotionally exhausting and scary morning that I'm still feeling upset and shaken up. My friends who know about the pregnancy don't seem very interested in hearing about it, and my husband doesn't get it and is just brushing me off, saying everything is fine. It is, but it almost wasn't.

Just needed to get that all off my chest.

likeabel · December 2015

Hang in there mama! I would have been freaking out too!

purplefan1 · December 2015

What a terrible scare!! I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I'm thankful every thing is OK, but wish you hadn't had to go through the angst.

maddmama · December 2015

That sounds like a nightmare. I'm sosoo glad everything is okay! Hugs to you! You went through a scare, but made it through and your baby is safe ❤️

hellomommas · December 2015

Aww. I get your feelings! That is so scary. What almost happens is terrifying sometimes. My son was SO close to walking into a busy street once. I thought my husband was watching him, my husband thought I was watching him--- nothing happened and I grabbed my son before he took that final couple steps... But man! I thought about it for days and days. In the fear, I just was reminded to turn it back into thankfulness. He was saved from what could have been and I was breathless with thankfulness. (Sorry for the long response-I've been stuck on the couch for days being sick.) I am being an over-sharer lately on here mostly because I literally am just stuck in one spot.

CarlySuePhotos · December 2015

Same thing happened to me. I was pouring bright red blood for hours. Everything has been fine besides brown blood for weeks which they told me would happen and it was normal. So I know the feeling, still hard not to be nervous but stay positive, it gets better.

catherinekate · December 2015

That is so scary! I would be beside myself. I'm glad you got good news--it's hard to do but that's the part to focus on.

CopperLane · December 2015

I'm so sorry that you went through this and aren't getting support from immediate friends and family. I'm glad that everything looks good!

Can you take a bath and go to bed early? When I can't deal, I go to sleep and it helps.

june2016baby · December 2015

That sounds horribley scary and emotionally draining...My husband never understands how I feel either. I think his main problem is he hates to feel negative feelings, so he just tries to avoid them.

nekedfeet · December 2015

Oh, sweetheart! That is so awful. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Wonderful that everything seems to be ok, but I understand how you'd still be freaking out! I would be!

I like the PP's idea of a bath and bed early. I'm sure you wish a glass of wine were on offer.

Sending happy vibes your way.

VikingGirl12 · December 2015

That is such a terrible thing to go through. They couldn't find the HB at my last appt and had to wait 10 minutes for an ultrasound. It was the longest 10 minutes of my life so I can't imagine waiting hours. I Agree with others- you deserve to relax and take a break. And think about how your baby is just fine

HBamama2B · December 2015

What a difficult day for you. I'm so sorry you had to go through that but glad to hear you and LO are ok. Glad we are here for you!

mamabudd · December 2015

Thanks for listening and taking the time to reply, ladies. I really appreciate it. I did go to bed early and I feel better today, although I'm still trying to take it easy because the whole situation really freaked me out. I'm so grateful that everything worked out and that the baby is okay. Just trying to focus on that!

CourtJack · December 2015

That's so scary!! I'm so glad everything was ok. It's hard when people don't understand. You're feeling better now? Any explanation for the bleeding?

mamabudd · December 2015

No real explanation! At my dating ultrasound last month they found a subchorionic hematoma, but they didn't see it yesterday. My midwife suspected that maybe that's why I bled, the hematoma leaked and resolved itself, but she couldn't say for sure. It's been almost 48 hours since I've bled at all and I am just hoping so badly that it's all over. It is so alarming to see bright red blood when you're pregnant!

CourtJack · December 2015

Ugh. I can imagine!! Poor you. So happy though that all is ok with your little bean

mamabudd · December 2015

Thank you

Me too!! This is my third baby and my other two were such textbook pregnancies. Apparently this babe wants to really keep me on my toes! Or give me a heart attack...

crdo · December 2015

My goodness, how scary! I'm sorry your friends and husband didn't offer the support you needed. That's great that you were able to find out everything is ok with your little one!

mrsschmity · December 2015

Really sorry you had to go through all of that and didn't get the support you needed

Glad to hear all is well though!

ashleyrobertson0113 · December 2015

@mamabudd - so sorry you had to go through that. It sounds terrifying and exhausting. But glad to hear your little one is doing okay!

SMLmom · December 2015

WOW- what a traumatic experience!! SO relieved for you that it was okay in the end!

Atlast111 · December 2015

Wow...that is so scary! Glad it's stopped. Try to get lots of rest over the next few weeks and hope you feel better soon.

tjenkins528 · December 2015

SO sorry to hear

Glad everything seems to be okay!

mamabudd · December 2015

Thanks ladies. ❤️ I'm feeling much better now. My friend let me borrow her doppler, and while I know a lot of medical professionals would discourage an untrained person using them, I think it will be helpful to have on hand for reassurance until I start feeling this baby moving around!

fishwife799 · December 2015

I'm sorry you had to go through that with little support. im glad you are feeling better

MEP923 · December 2015

I was bleeding Monday-Tues. It can be perfectly normal. Just make sure to rest and stay hydrated!

aessary03 · December 2015

You poor thing! What an anxiety ridden day! I'm so glad baby is in there doing good.

HBamama2B · December 2015

@mamabudd So so glad you are feeling better! I love my Doppler. The trick is being patient and enjoying the sounds of the LO on the days you can find it, but not stressing when you can't. The tech is just so-so, and has nothing to do with lo's health. You have to be realistic about the limits of the machine and not apply them to some false risk for the LO.

Also, you can be right on top of baby and miss the hb. Put the wand as close as you can to where you think baby is, then make teeny tiny adjustments to the angle of the wand until you catch it. Usually takes me a couple minutes to find it, then another one to fix the wand right to hear it loudest.

most importantly, don't let it cause you stress! I love listening in, when we can hear LO moving or the HB so fast it just makes my day.

mamabudd · December 2015

Thanks for the tips @HBMama2B! I've actually had quite a bit of luck finding the heartbeat in the few times I've tried, it takes less than a couple minutes...which makes me wonder why the midwives had such a hard time when obviously their doppler is much better than the one I have! Who knows. I am so glad I have it this time around though, it makes me feel so much better when my mind starts to get all anxious and stressed out.

dennyandlee · December 2015

@mamabudd I'm glad you're feeling better but sorry you had a scare. Hopefully you will be smooth sailing from here on out! I also find comfort in being able to check on baby with the Doppler.

Corts · December 2015

I can understand why you are so shaken up. One problem I have with doctors offices and hospitals is that their offices should show more compassion to moms who are having a scare or going through a loss. A 3 hour wait would have been agony for me. Surely they could have bumped you to the front of the line. Even at hospitals when I am doing a NILMDTS session, they have the grieving parents on the same side as the post partum moms and are forced to watch a parade of balloons and visitors for the other newborns. After my own loss I had to wait for my confirmation ultrasound in a room full of pregnant happy ladies. I still don't know why they don't have a smaller, private room for women in limbo. Thank goodness everything is ok though.

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