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October 2015 Moms
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Catholic moms , I need advice

kayce49kayce49 member
in October 2015 Moms
I am torn. I understand the churches teachings on birth control and I know how to do nfp but I'm really worried about getting pregnant too soon. I'm thinking of going on the pill for a year and then doing nfp so that if we have a slip up we won't have kids back to back.
I don't feel great about it, but I'm feeling pressure from my dr and some from my husband (although he's trying really hard the not throw in his own opinions.)
Anyone else struggling with this?
Any advice?
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Re: Catholic moms , I need advice

  • mandala1107mandala1107 member
    I am not Catholic, but I have some friends who are. They are all on some form of birth control, however they don't talk about it with their families or other Catholic friends, unless they know it will be judgement free. I'm sure you will get some great advice from other women who are or have been in your shoes. Good luck!
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  • koriemokoriemo member
    Well. We tried NFP when we first got married and had LO before our one year anniversary. We knew the risks involved, and we thought we would wait a year, then relax a bit and be prepared for pregnancy to happen. We won't be trying it again.
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  • ElleMF728ElleMF728 member
    edited November 2015
    I'm catholic and while I know what the church teaches I don't personally have an issue with BC.

    However, I don't use it and don't plan to.  DH and I have had a ton of success with charting and temping and I prefer it because we like to have our children close together and therefore don't need to wait for a few months after stopping BC to start trying again.

    It is the same idea essentially as NFP except issues occur with NFP because ovulation does not occur at the same time every month and is hard to predict based on cycle length. This is why many women are so far off on the EDD based on LMP and often receive a new EDD after a dating US. Charting and temping will allow you to better predict when you will ovulated that month using several different variables.  The bonus is we just continue to use it when we start TTC as well. 


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  • cdepperschmidtcdepperschmidt member
    I totally know where you are coming from! Your thoughts/fears are exactly how I feel!

    I agree with PP, I have no problem with other people using BC, but it's not right for me. However, PP my understanding of NFP is that it is charting and temping. It's a misconception that NFP is the calendar method, it's not, that that method (if you can even call it one) is very inaccurate.

    I was also charting and temping before LO, but I'm concerned that temping will not be accurate because I wake up to nurse LO. I'm also concerned I won't be able to read my body accurately because my cycles could be very irregular with nursing. A friend of mine told me that there is a lot of info on PP NFP. I'm only 3 was PP, but I plan on doing a lot of research. Luckily DH is supportive, I think that makes a difference.
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  • ElleMF728ElleMF728 member
    cdepperschmidt said:
    I totally know where you are coming from! Your thoughts/fears are exactly how I feel! I agree with PP, I have no problem with other people using BC, but it's not right for me. However, PP my understanding of NFP is that it is charting and temping. It's a misconception that NFP is the calendar method, it's not, that that method (if you can even call it one) is very inaccurate. I was also charting and temping before LO, but I'm concerned that temping will not be accurate because I wake up to nurse LO. I'm also concerned I won't be able to read my body accurately because my cycles could be very irregular with nursing. A friend of mine told me that there is a lot of info on PP NFP. I'm only 3 was PP, but I plan on doing a lot of research. Luckily DH is supportive, I think that makes a difference.
    This is great to know.  I think that there isn't enough discussion on NFP in prep courses.  As it was explained to DH and I, it was based on the calendar method.  I had wondered why they didn't use charting and temping and now I know that they do! 

    Our class instructor was also a man which might explain part of the ignorance on the issue. I know that different issue can impact the accuracy (my friend has PCOS which she told me can throw it off as well) but in general I feel pretty comfortable with it. 
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  • kayce49kayce49 member
    Yeah, the rhythm method is old school and doesn't work.
    I'm just so torn. Even now. My brain says to do one year on the mini pill and start doing nfp after that. But my gut is uncomfortable with that.
    Regardless there needs to be more education of nfp. All it is is learning how to read your body. It's so important that girls learn about their reproductive system.
    I'm going to have to spend some time praying on the whole birth control thing.
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  • ameares721ameares721 member
    I grew up in the Episcopal Church and joined the Catholic Church in May 2014. My husband (cradle Catholic) and I used to have conversation about Catholic teachings, a lot of which are still more aligned with when the bible was written rather than modern day USA.

    He said to me, "I would rather belong to a Church that holds me to the highest standard, but forgives me when I fall short".

    I told our priest that the birth control issue was weighing heavy on my heart. If I was going to join the Church, I wanted to be 100%. He told me that he knew most families in the parish were practicing non-NFP birth control and if children were not what was best for our marriage or financial situation at the time, then we needed to do what was best for the marriage. I also felt like it was my sin and like my husband didn't share in the sun because he himself wasn't doing anything to prevent it (not fair!). Later that year I went off BC for medical reasons and we tried NFP to prevent and got pregnant very quickly (oops!). While we can handle one baby (who has blessed us greatly and by sleeping through the night!) we financially cannot have another one so soon. I decided to use BC, along with my other sins for which I will ask forgiveness.
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  • leannebernardezleannebernardez member
    It's interesting to me that posters are saying "I'm Catholic and on birth control." That's like saying "I'm vegetarian but I eat bacon." The Catholic Church's teachings are rooted in love and in what is best for humanity based on God's wisdom and teaching for us as best as we can discern on this Earth. The Catholic Church accepts Natural Family Planning as the only morally acceptable form of family planning because it honors the way God designed our bodies. It also is proven 99.4% effective when followed correctly. Contraception and artificial birth control get in the way of God's plan for sex; they take away complete unity between the couple (condoms) or they prevent a life from forming, and in some cases terminate a life (plan B pill).

    Please don't misinterpret this as preaching. I recognize that I am a sinner, that these decisions are difficult, and that no one can be judged by another sinful human...but I do believe that being Catholic means following ALL the teachings of the Church as faithfully as possible. Otherwise, why be Catholic? These teachings are difficult, but Christ never said it would be easy.

    I try to look at the teachings not as rules that bind, but as guidelines that free us to live the way God intended us to without worldly ideas getting in our way.
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  • kayce49kayce49 member
    Leanne,
    I agree with most of what you said, but here is where I struggle.
    If you take the teaching down to its bare bones then the practice of nfp is also sinful. The church says that if you are to engage in intercorse then you must be open to life. To take bc or use an iud or condoms is to attempt to control if you will be blessed with a baby, it's a way of saying no to god. So that is sinful. But nfp is another way of controlling if you have a baby because you are not having sex when you're fertile, same with it you were to pull out. Theyre all ways for trying to control pregnancy.
    If you follow the teaching strictly we really shouldn't have sex at all unless we're willing to have a baby.
    That being said, I understand that nfp is more natural because you're not messing with your body's chemistry to keep you from ovulating like with bc.
    I guess I struggle with the shades of gray.
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  • leannebernardezleannebernardez member
    Thanks for your thoughtful response. However, with natural family planning, you are still open to having a baby. It may happen, and there is no contraception preventing it from occurring. It is simply using our bodies the way God designed them. It is not at all sinful to be prudent with your body in a completely natural way.
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  • kayce49kayce49 member
    I finally got a chance to talk to my sister about this, she has spent a lot of time reading on this issue. She helped clarify the difference between nfp and birth control in the eyes of the church.
    She said to have sex as God intended, there are three aspects that must be involved: a bond between husband and wife, pleasure, and the possibility for life. If you take away one of those aspects then you're no longer are having sex as God intended. Taking birth control is having sex despite removing the opportunity for conception. Nfp is not having sex because we don't want to have a baby. I'm not explaining it well, but it makes sense to me. Thank you everyone for your input and advice. I feel much more clear on what I need to do and why.
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