Does anyone else have zero sex drive?

Nicbert1214 · December 2015

I'm a FTM almost 19 weeks and I currently feel like I can go the rest of my life without sex- my boyfriend however does not agree lol. I'm just so exhausted lately sex is the furthest thing from my mind. My boyfriend has been handling it well, but I see now that he is getting pretty frustrated so I feel bad. Anyone else going or went through this?

laurenmdrn16 · December 2015

We are in the opposite situation right now. I am totally up for it, but MH is terrified. I had a lot of complications with my first pregnancy and I think he is afraid of "breaking" me. Also, he read about sperm allergy possibly playing a part in pre-e (which I had last time) and is certain that his sperm is poison to me.

I think the best thing is communication and letting your SO know that it isn't about not being desirable or not loving each other. Also, when you have a real honest conversation, you get to see exactly why the other person is feeling the way they are feeling. I thought MH was grossed out by my bizarre boobs and growing bump, but when we got down to it, it turns out he is just nervous about my health. That made me feel a lot better and I was able to let him know that it is perfectly healthy to have sex, but if it makes him uncomfortable, we don't have to. Maybe there are other things you can do (wink wink) that don't necessarily involve physically exhausting penetration to show intimacy that you are both comfortable with. I won't lie; the exhaustion doesn't always get better and it is better to address any issues now vs later in the pregnancy when things have been stewing for a while and emotions are running high.

araecasey · December 2015

^^great advice. First trimester is a total sex dry spell for us, as are the first 3 months pp. Open, honest convos are so important. I'm personally in the camp that people can take care of themselves sometimes, I don't feel responsible for every single sexual release my hubby has. But, sexual intimacy is important to a relationship. I try to come together in some way with hubby when I feel up to it, but if it's not happening for either one of us, we know the other will be okay and we try to build intimacy in some other way.

Nicbert1214 · December 2015

Thanks guys! It's definitely interesting to hear that you are up for it and your partner is the one who is worried. And I totally agree that having a convo about it would definitely ease some of his worries. I think he realizes it's not him though- he did make a comment the other day that if I wasn't preggo we would be fighting about the lack of sex lol. I guess just between my lack of sleep and just being generally worried about a lot of things- I can't seem to find time to think about that kind of stuff. Men however just seem to always be on board for it no matter how tired or stressed they are lol.

wamam027 · December 2015

I was totally not into anything physical first tri and now BRING ON ALL THE SEX! but...my husband has been away for 4 weeks and will be away for 2 more weeks...then my mom is staying with us for 2 weeks helping us move and unpack and get situated

so I can send you some of my sex drive, gladly, cause it's definitely not being used and won't be for quite some time!

On a serious note though, I can totally understand your boyfriend's frustration (I'm sure we've all been there whether pre pregnancy or during when we've wanted it but our SO isn't up for it and it is frustrating) however you are growing a HUMAN. This does insane things to your body and so I can totally understand why you wouldn't want anything to do with sex. PP have great suggestions, there are definitely ways to get creative to ensure that you're both happy and ensure you don't completely lose that physical interaction during this pregnancy.

michaeljessa · December 2015

I'm 18 weeks and have zero sex drive, like you I'm just so exhausted all the time. My hubby is extremely understanding and doesn't seem very frustrated but knowing him I'm sure it is bothering him inside. Hopefully it will change for us soon..

Jenly17 · December 2015

A million times yes. The frustrating thing is that I usually have a great sex drive. H has been all over me and I keep shooting him down and I feel terrible! I remind him that this is temporary and that there are other ways for us to be intimate

Knowing that there's a light at the end of the tunnel also helps.

dsmith211 · December 2015

I'm all for it and thankfully DH is right now too, but I've noticed lately that he may be falling into the worrier category as I've started to show more and this has bc more of a reality. Things started out ok but now he starts to ask if I'm ok or makes comments about the baby being ok all the time. It's nice he's concerned, but it really doesn't help with the mood. I've started sending him some stuff to read so he knows everything is fine, but he tends to worry by nature so I'm anticipating things slowing down a bit pretty shortly.

sosweet487 · December 2015

I have a sex drive but I am just too nauseous/tired to do anything about it. I feel super bad for my DH because he has a HUGE sex drive.

babykasper · December 2015

I have a ton of sex drive and would love to have sex with my husband every day! But he's worried about me and the baby! So no sex for us... Plus we were recently put back on bed rest so there's a no sex policy there too! Lol

But definitely talk about it... Open communication is key!

On a funny note... I once heard this woman say, "I'll have sex any time my husband wants to give ME orgasms!" And if I'm not in the mood and my husband is... I tell him I want multiples!

hahaha! Hope that made you laugh!

ayeshaohara · December 2015

ZERO drive over here. Hubby thinks it's him so I have to remind him constantly that I still love him but when I feel like crap constantly sex is the last thing on my mind. I have made sure that when I have been in the mood (a whole three times in 4 months) we have had some sexy time. I make sure I still touch him when I can even if I don't want to have sex so he knows that I still find him sexy as hell!!!

1mae2016 · December 2015

I just don't know what is wrong with me. I have a sex drive and I definitely want it but once we are in the act, it's as if my sex drive completely goes away. I'm blaming hormones but I think my complete lack of self confidence since pregnancy has something to do with it too. I know SO does not care at all, he's always trying to boost my confidence and reassure me, and he's not afraid of hurting me or the baby, so I feel so bad that I can't get myself to please him. Hopefully I can get over myself because I really do miss sex!

TheThornBird · December 2015

You all can have some of mine, it's out of control and right now SO is living 6 hours away for god know how much longer......*sigh*.

@babykasper good for that woman! I'm going to steal that line, ha!

sarawifenow · December 2015

Mine seems to change daily. Also almost 19w FTM here. One day the thought of sex does absolutely nothing for me and the next I am all over my H. It seems that I go in spells week by week.

Nicbert1214 · December 2015

Ha ha you guys are all awesome! It's so nice to hear that some of you guys are going through the same thing as I am! And for those that have sec drives through the roof- I will gladly take some! Haha.

mrstmoose · December 2015

I had very little sex drive the first trimester. I have noticed it coming back but I am primarily into it on the weekends. During the week, once I get home from work and sit down to relax, I'm pretty much done for the night. Have a talk with your SO and figure out what will work for both of you!

countrygrl5533 · December 2015

1mae2016 I have that issue sometimes too. It isn't really lack self confidence, I think I just have a really short attention span right now. lol

Sex drive came back about week 13/14 but since I am a SAHM who runs an Etsy shop, DIYs most of our stuff (ie. all our food, etc.), and am trying to paint and such to get our house better ready to sell (already on the market but it needs a lot of minor repairs)....by the time my DH is home and kiddo is in bed, I'm exhausted.

adaobifediora · December 2015

I have zero sex drive as well. There has been no sex since after my sixth week, I'm 17 weeks now. Initially, that's after my 6th week, the thought of sex just made me so nauseous, just like smells did. I'm not nauseous anymore but I still do not have any sex drive. My hubby has always had very little sex drive to start with so its worked out well for us.

Sienna516 · December 2015

My sex drive is also hardcore back after being gone the 1st trimester. My husband and I work opposite shifts and he works 6 days a week, so it's hard to have enough time to have sex. It's usually hi/bye. I really wanted to today and got home a little early but he wanted to finish his tv show, then we didn't have enough time anymore because he had to get ready & leave for work. Then we got into a fight and I've been sitting on the couch depressed for 2 hours about to cry. He turns me down sometimes when I want to have sex, but most of the time I get it, but I've been more emotional lately, so it's been hurting my feelings more. I was overweight before I got pregnant and so I definitely don't feel very attractive and that doesn't help either. He's overweight too, so I think that's why his sex drive is low to begin with.

Pomegranate1983 · December 2015

I'm at zero sex drive too. I have not started experiencing the typical ease of symptoms that others talk about. I get very nauseous in the evening, though, mornings are great. DH has been sexually frustrated but good about not having as much sex. I think the longest we've gone without having sex is three weeks since I've found out I'm pregnant but at the most, it's been once a week. I have to say, I do miss having sex. We enjoy gentle sex but we both miss being able to just have at each other, which just isn't going to happen with the aches and soreness for me.

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