I'm in a very similar position. I'm supposed to be 8 weeks but had my first u/s last night and there was no heartbeat, developmentally it looked more like 5-6 weeks and I know my LMP and O date and have pretty short cycles anyway so it's not possible for me to just be a couple weeks earlier than I thought. I got my BFP at 13 dpo. Will have another u/s in a week to be absolutely sure, but really I already am. I hope I just start to miscarry on my own before then. I just want to be done with it. Either way, we will probably be doing a D&C.
I'm not drinking or anything like that just in case, plus if I do start bleeding it would probably make it worse. But I am starting to take my antidepressant again. I'm going to need it. I know this is so common and I figured it would happen at some point in my life, but I really wish it wasn't my first pregnancy. It's going to make it so difficult to enjoy any future ones.
Hugs to both of you @mtpbadger and @fiancB. This is my first pregnancy too and I agree that it makes it somewhat extra sucky and no doubt will cause extra anxiety for any future pregnancies. Ultrasound this morning showed that some thickening in my right tube that was there last week has disappeared, so they're fairly sure that this was a tubal pregnancy that miscarried naturally and my OB will follow up with me for continuing treatment. Trying to look on the bright side and be grateful that I didn't lose a tube or suffer a painful rupture, but it's still an emotional loss.
DH and I: Early/mid 30s Married 7/15
TTC #1 as of 8/15
BFP 11/21/15 -- MC confirmed 12/1/15 BFP #2 2/18/16
I am hoping for a miracle. I posted about a week ago that my hcg was 4590 that I was probably 6-7 wks but that it could drop and be a miscarriage since no yolk or sac were found. I thought 4590 was really high and it gave me hope. I took another blood test on Monday and the results were confusing. It went up - but not by much. My hcg was 5973, I knew that it should have more than doubled by now after a week. Is there any hope or should I just wait for the inevitable? I am 41 and I even thought of asking for progesterone suppositories or something - I don't know - to help this pregnancy along.
This would be my last pregnancy as it was a surprise pregnancy and it fills me with sadness that it was a fruitless one. I have 3 baby angels in heaven and my daughter and son. To put myself at risk knowing that I have a high percentage of miscarrying is frightening.
I am lucky in that I have 2 beautiful children but I was looking forward to experience my last chance at giving new life. Any advice or input anyone? I have my next OB appt on Friday.
It's like being left in limbo waiting for the worst and praying the Dr was somehow wrong. Currently I should be 8wks and 1day however 8 days ago I started spotting, went for sono and at that time only measured 6w2d with HR of 94, fast forward 1 week repeat sono shows no fetal growth and HR still low in 90's. Dr said to go home and wait it out, repeat sono in 1 week to confirm heart beat is completely gone. The heart break is overwhelming and has left me seriously questioning my faith
I completely understand questioning your faith at times like these. Prior to having my living children I suffered neonatal losses. 3 preemies basically died in my arms. I remember wanting to be dead too. They are still and I know will probably be the most devastating times of my life. The only bereavement group available was at a church. I was not sure if I would be okay to go and lash out at God basically. I seriously questioned why others were granted the gift to give life and yet they would dump their newborns in the garbage while I was trying everything: treatments, getting probed, battling the stages of grief while still trying to maintain hope. ironically that group gave me a safe place to cry and vent for about 2 years while still trying to keep my faith and hope alive. It was the only place where I understood that my life would never be the same after such grief. That grief will always be a part of me despite having 2 successful pregnancies thereafter.
This last pregnancy feels like a cruel joke again and I find myself grieving and reliving that same pain despite the fact that it was an unexpected pregnancy. The hopes and dreams surface regardless of what my past experiences have been, which makes it hard still to reconcile my faith at times. For me this more than likely will be my last pregnancy and I feel bitter knowing that I will not be able to keep this baby. My childbearing stage has ended in this way. Right now I am waiting for confirmation and hoping that it's not so. it is such a roller coaster! Thank you for allowing me to vent yet again while I await for signs of an impending loss.
Hope all you ladies are hanging in there today! Just got the call from my Dr and my HCG numbers have finally started to decline, currently 85 from 165 on Monday. I go back on Monday just to ensure they continue to head in that direction.
@mcsagara did your dr or nurse give you any indication if that was a sufficient increase? I think after so many weeks, the HCG doesn't necessarily double but I'm not sure at what week that starts to occur. FX crossed for you tomorrow! I think the waiting in-between blood work is the most nerve wracking part!
Re: Any other lurkers just waiting for their miscarriage to happen?
Married 7/15
BFP #2 2/18/16
I posted about a week ago that my hcg was 4590 that I was probably 6-7 wks but that it could drop and be a miscarriage since no yolk or sac were found.
I thought 4590 was really high and it gave me hope. I took another blood test on Monday and the results were confusing.
It went up - but not by much.
My hcg was 5973, I knew that it should have more than doubled by now after a week.
Is there any hope or should I just wait for the inevitable?
I am 41 and I even thought of asking for progesterone suppositories or something -
I don't know - to help this pregnancy along.
This would be my last pregnancy as it was a surprise pregnancy and it fills me with sadness that it was a fruitless one. I have 3 baby angels in heaven and my daughter and son. To put myself at risk knowing that I have a high percentage of miscarrying is frightening.
I am lucky in that I have 2 beautiful children but I was looking forward to experience my last chance at giving new life.
Any advice or input anyone?
I have my next OB appt on Friday.
Prior to having my living children I suffered neonatal losses.
3 preemies basically died in my arms. I remember wanting to be dead too.
They are still and I know will probably be the most devastating times of my life.
The only bereavement group available was at a church.
I was not sure if I would be okay to go and lash out at God basically.
I seriously questioned why others were granted the gift to give life and yet they would dump their newborns in the garbage while I was trying everything: treatments, getting probed, battling the stages of grief while still trying to maintain hope.
ironically that group gave me a safe place to cry and vent for about 2 years while still trying to keep my faith and hope alive. It was the only place where I understood that my life would never be the same after such grief.
That grief will always be a part of me despite having 2 successful pregnancies thereafter.
This last pregnancy feels like a cruel joke again and I find myself grieving and reliving that same pain despite the fact that it was an unexpected pregnancy. The hopes and dreams surface regardless of what my past experiences have been, which makes it hard still to reconcile my faith at times.
For me this more than likely will be my last pregnancy and I feel bitter knowing that I will not be able to keep this baby. My childbearing stage has ended in this way.
Right now I am waiting for confirmation and hoping that it's not so.
it is such a roller coaster!
Thank you for allowing me to vent yet again while I await for signs of an impending loss.
Hope all you ladies are hanging in there today! Just got the call from my Dr and my HCG numbers have finally started to decline, currently 85 from 165 on Monday. I go back on Monday just to ensure they continue to head in that direction.
@mcsagara did your dr or nurse give you any indication if that was a sufficient increase? I think after so many weeks, the HCG doesn't necessarily double but I'm not sure at what week that starts to occur. FX crossed for you tomorrow! I think the waiting in-between blood work is the most nerve wracking part!